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Arrgh, work too much stress and hassle, considering getting signed off.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by kashinthegreen, Jan 28, 2012.

  1. Whole load of history and stuff here, don't really know where to start. Will try to get as much in as possible so as not to drip-feed.

    My subject head is a bit of a nightmare, has a habit of being nice as pie to your face, then complaining about you to other staff or SMT without mentioning it. I have a history of anxiety problems, treated and controlled now, but the paranoia of not knowing whether she is having a problem with me or not half the time is still an issue.

    Previously when my MH was a serious issue, I saw a occ health Dr, referred through school. The head withheld his report from me for 3 months, none of the conditions he suggested were necessary for me to keep working were met, and until I finally got to see the report, I had no idea of the diagnosis he had given me (but the head did). During this time while I was struggling in work, my subject head complained to the head that I wasn't doing things right, and I ended up with a written warning which could have been avoided if she had a) supported me as the Dr suggested and b) spoken to me rather than escalating straight to the head. Before I went to the meeting with the head, she told me straight she had no idea what it was about. So basically the environment is quite toxic, and I don't feel I can trust or talk to my line manager.

    When I had trouble with a class (throwing things at me) and asked for support for my teaching, the group was taken off me until the end of term, and timetabled back in with me the next term, I never got the support/training I asked for.

    In my last pregnancy I never had a H&S assessment (the subject head's responsibility according to our H&S guy when I emailed asking for one), and had no support or concessions until I was crippled with SPD and physically couldn't stand in the classroom, then I was taken off timetable.

    I'm expecting my second child, I've not been very well with it, quite sick, having episodes of dizziness and fainting. I lost my last pregnancy, and I've had a whole load of issues in my personal life on top of that. In the last week I have had to deal with passive aggressive comments from the subject head and deputy over me not attending a parent's evening (for a class where I am the second teacher with 1 lesson a fortnight, usually this would mean not doing PE or reports). A couple of days ago SH came into my classroom, scowled at me (I think because I was sat down), stood at the side for 5 minutes, then left and sent me an email saying she would be observing me my next working day. I *think* I have done something wrong, but no idea what. Previous observations have always come out saying my teaching is excellent (it's stuff like marking I'm less hot on, but this obs is specifically classroom related).

    I'm not intending on returning to the post after my maternity leave, and I am really wondering if all this stress and **** from a line manager who clearly doesn't care a bit for my well being is worthwhile at all. My union rep is in my dept and also a personal friend, so I don't really want to discuss this with him unless I have to. Considering I am fainting from standing too long and not snacking regularly, I think my MW might be prepared to sign me off, but I'm not sure if this would be overreacting or really unprofessional.
  2. Oh, sorry about the paragraphs, I forgot this forum hates Chrome.
  3. naomi58

    naomi58 New commenter

    Your post reminds me of a mini Hitler i work with and can't wait to get away from! How long until your maternity leave would start?
  4. Not until the May at the earliest.
  5. When is your baby due?
    I left a job I hated when I was 12 weeks pregnant (hadn't had my BFP when I resigned, but was trying for baby so knew it was likely. By the time I left I'd had hyperemesis for 6 weeks). I got less maternity pay, and obviously lost salary etc, but it was the best thing I ever did. We have had to be careful with finances and I worked on a temp mat cover contract after my 1st baby so now no occupational pay for the second either. But I have never regretted it, my husband has never thought it was the wrong plan and we are both happier for it. If you don't intend to return your maternity pay won't be that different, as you'd have to pay it back if not returning. So if you can possibly afford to resign and perhaps off sick rather than work your notice it may not be a bad idea.
    If you have tendencies to anxiety ( I know the feeling) then being in situations like that can cause you long term damage- not what you need when your about to be the mum of 2 (unless you already have others ;o)
  6. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    I can only say be careful. Speaking personally, I left a job and regret it. There's not a lot of teaching jobs about now, especially for mums. Wrong? Maybe. But true. If of course you are leaving because you intend not to work again and can afford it, then that's different. Could you try a face to face informal chat in pub withg your boss?
  7. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    Not suggesting you have to drink alcohol in there of course lol!I just meanan informal setting

  8. Thanks. I have considered resigning, but I am not entirely sure where I stand WRT notice periods etc. I should dig out my contract. I have a feeling it's a term, which would take me to mat leave anyway.

    I'm not sure about talking to her informally,that has backfired on me and various others, a nice "off the record" chat wouldn't very likely stay like that unfortunately. There tends to be a lot of passive aggressive nit picking or going behind backs to pass info on to more senior staff. I just don't feel I can trust her, and I don't really want to talk about my personal issues with her if I can avoid it.
  9. Oh, and I will be leaving teaching for good if possible. I have retrained as a holistic therapist, plus 2 small children. I might tutor, I might consider the independent sector, but I have fallen out of love with the curriculum and all the bureaucracy.
  10. nothing wrong with getting signed off even for months if you're seriously stressed and anxious due to work situations especially if your blood pressure is going up!
  11. Get signed off if you can as life is too short and your (and your baby's) healthis too important to suffer through work.
    I too have fell out of 'love' due to the exact same reasons as yourself and I'm spending time before the baby arrives to investigate other avenues. Might do tutoring or also considering childminding as it means I can look after my own two (and save over £700 a month on childcare!!!!) but at least have a bit extra income to top it up.
    good luck xx

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