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Are you closer to friends or family?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Corvuscorax, Aug 25, 2019.

  1. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    What percent of your nearest and dearest are blood relatives? Not saying a specific number, because some people have more family than others.

    I'd say 95 % of the people I am closest to are not blood relatives. 2 people, out of all the people I love most in the world, are blood relatives.

    I don't really understand the default position of loving someone because you are related, but maybe that is because my relatives are not very nice,
  2. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    Do they all live in shipping crates ?
    FrankWolley likes this.
  3. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    I love my cats more than my husband’s crew. I am an only child and I suppose I love my Mum but I don’t like her very much
  4. susanrk

    susanrk Occasional commenter

    I love my family but I chose my friends!
  5. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I am close to my immediate family. Wider though, not necessarily. If you don't get on with someone unrelated to you, they'll never become a friend. There will still be a connection with family however you feel about them.
  6. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter


    Unconditional love for dogs and cat. The humans in my life have to earn it.

    So that's the wife and the two daughters. Grandkids? But I don't feel close to them. They are their mother's children.

    Friends? I probably have a personality disorder. I don't have friends.
  7. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    no, but some would give their right arm to have that option, not that it is of any relevance to this thread.
    ShowerGel and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  8. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    A connection with family? Why?

    My wife hates her brother. She intends never to see him again. He's obnoxious.

    I hated my father. He died when I was 22. Not a moment too soon!
  9. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I didn't mean that you have to be in contact or have a relationship with them. I agree that is down to individuals and there can be good reasons why you might not. I hated my mum's partner growing up. Don't count him as family although he was in effect my step father for years. But I still have the connection that I lived in the same house for years, memories of those times etc.
  10. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Well, I have a connection to Margaret Thatcher and Harold Wilson. I have many memories and they were integral to my childhood and early adulthood. They're firmly lodged in my memory banks. With dogs and buildings and teachers.
  11. Jesmond12

    Jesmond12 Star commenter

    Same here. Plus I am not particularly close to my immediate family apart from my daughter and two grandchildren.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  12. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I have friends but in a crisis the person that I would rely on would be my sister. Having been very close to my brother as a child I don't have much of a relationship with him any more.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  13. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    I have a close family, though, interestingly, I would chose one of my brothers over the other to confide it, and certainly not my parents. That's not because we're not close, but because of personalities and how they would respond, which wouldn't necessarily help in a crisis.
    My husband is all but out of touch with his family - no loss.
    I have a few very close and much loved friends and a number of other friends who I am very happy to spend time with. Then I have a circle of acquaintances who I like and after that is everyone else.
    I'd like to think that I am so lovely that I have no enemies, but I fear that may not be quite true...
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  14. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    I am an only child (which perhaps makes a difference).
    But my parents had loads of siblings, so I grew up with many aunts & uncles and literally dozens of cousins. I used to love family occasions, like weddings!!

    Both sides of my family are great - I don't recall any major fallings out and certainly no feuds. Those of us who are still in touch with each other get on really well. Of course, having no siblings, nor children of my own, as far as I am concerned, we're talking a couple of very elderly aunts / uncles and a dozen cousins and their children, so not familiarly very close anyway.

    However, since university days, when I Ieft home and my home town, the friends I have made on life's journey have always been more important. We chose each other. We are on the same wave length. We have shared significant life moments together.

    It is to friends I turn.
  15. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    I have good friends that I love dearly, but the real closeness is with family - siblings and my children. These are the ones I would turn to in a crisis or want to share good news with first. Like many others today, I have little contact with extended family - funerals and the odd Christmas card. It's not that there have any been any feuds, we're just so widespread in distance. I know that many keep in touch on social media, but I'm not a facebooker.
    Lara mfl 05 and Corvuscorax like this.
  16. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Many of my friends have died or moved away in the last ten years. I only realised how few friends I still have and keep in regular contact with when at the funerals of those who died (3 last year). I don't really socialise at work, partly because I never intended to stay as long as I did but also because I haven't met anyone I really hit it off with.
    On the other hand I am close to my family both emotionally and geographically so mustn't grumble.
    Lara mfl 05, Corvuscorax and nizebaby like this.
  17. Laphroig

    Laphroig Lead commenter

    Son, gigs and cat - yes. Anyone else not so much. Even family have to earn my love and respect.
  18. Incommunicado

    Incommunicado Occasional commenter

    Friends are God’s way of apologising for the family He gave you.
  19. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    What, like Leonard's mum in the Big Bang Theory?
  20. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I love my family dearly.
    I have many, many friends and I also love them dearly.
    I love my dogs and horses with a passion as they are never rude or unpleasant to me.
    sunshineneeded and Lara mfl 05 like this.

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