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Are boys sometimes behind with their speech because their mothers read their minds?

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by inky, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    This has probably already been done to death. If so, I apologise.
    I've noticed in our nursery class that the boys tend to be far less independent re putting on coats etc than the girls. Is it true that mothers do more basic stuff for sons than they do for daughters?
     
  2. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    And, if so, what would be the effect on language development? If every time a child holds up a coat and says 'errggghhh' and its mother responds by putting on its coat, where is the motivation for learning to speak in words?
     
  3. Well, speaking from personal experience of being a mother to two boys and a girl, boys just take longer to get to grips with 'personal care'. Two perfectly intelligent and pleasant sons were followed by a hugely independent daughter who would try to get her own shoes on at 11 months old; boys still need a nudge and they're now in their teens.I don't think I indulge the boys (havent got time) could be that daughter arrived in a very busy household nad felt the need to look out for herself!
     
  4. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    I was told I'd "caused" Aspergers in my son as I had taught him to be too self reliant ( and this by a consultant psychologist!) Perhaps I should have put his coat on for him[​IMG]
     
  5. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    That's terible.

    I'm not talking about anything more than the 'fact' that boys are often slower to speak than girls. it's terible that you were held responsible for your son's condition. I can remember when the creackpot theory of the frozen mother still had enough support to warrant a tv documentary.
     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    My second son was using phrases at 9 months and sentences before he was a year. My first son didn't put words together till he was 18 months. Interestingly the first son was reading and writing simple stories when he was just 4 and the second son only started reading when he was 7.
     
  7. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    My son was a very early talker and like nuttela's son used sentences in an adult manner long before his first birthday. I put this down to him spending all his time in adult company (mainly his grandmother and great aunt and uncle) He was also a very early reader. My daughter was much later in beginning to talk and use sentences although she attended the college nursery from a young age
     
  8. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Sticky keys and overfast typing. They're my excuse for that last, unedited, post. Sorry.
    My son was a very early talker but not an early reader. I know I'm guilty of making gross generalisations but it still seems worth a little discussion. Do some mothers baby their sons more than daughters, anticipating their needs before the needs are voiced? Do they chat more with their daughters in a sisterly way? Are there cultural issues at play?
    Dunno. I'm not trrying to be contraversial.
     
  9. I would normally agree with you but this year has seen a complete turn around, with a lot of girls in my class being completely pampered. They do not dress themselves at home and if they spend a day in school they get a present. This has caused us a lot of separation anxiety.
    And because they are so pampered, with their mums reading their minds, their language skills are quite lacking.
     
  10. inky

    inky Lead commenter

     
  11. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Whoops - my fault that you posted twice!
    Yes. I agree and, if that's the case, it might even support my case.
     
  12. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    I think I chatted more to my son (at a young age) as he was my first child. When his sister arrived she had to share my chatter and had an older brother to speak for her so didn't need to talk so early. Of course when they hit their teens my son began to grunt and his sister more aticulate ...
     
  13. Some of the children in the class this year are so pampered it defies belief.
    They started coming into school in January without their parents, but their parents are adamant that little johnny/jenny couldn't possibly take off their coat, change their book, write their name without them.
    One parent won't bring in the p.e kit if it is too cold as her little one is not getting dressed on her own in this cold weather. 9This is indoor p.e)
    There is more but don't want school identified.
     
  14. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    We have one of us on the door in nursery and gently remind parents that the children should stack their book bags, take off their coats and hang them up themselves. Nobody objects, though their is some bewilderment at first!
     
  15. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Aaayyyyyyyyyyyy!
    there
     
  16. So do we but they like to argue and pester us, saying " but but but but". Then while we are talking to them another parent sneaks past me. Argghhhhhh!!!
     
  17. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    It's [miraculously] only in the last few weeks that I've realised how often children reply with 'But...'
    Drives me bonkers!
     
  18. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I think it is an issue common to both boys and girls in my experience. Children seem more and more babied as years go by.
    However I do think that boys in general are more likely to be delayed in speech and fine motor skills etc. This is perhaps partly due to the experiences given ie opportunities to read, draw and paint being seen as girls activities and football and rough and tumble with boys.
    It isnt that simple though, my own son had a speech delay despite a very language rich environment. He was read to from a few days old and experienced paint and play dough etc from about a year old. With the birth of his sister he had to learn to dress himself very early too.
    His speech therapist attributed his speech problems to an immature tongue. In deed he had very poor muscle tone in his wrists and hands and had a toddler like walking, running and sitting gait for quite a while. In fact his wrists didnt really appear until he was 7! He struggled to tie his shoe laces, wipe his bum and brush his teeth until he was in Key stage 2 and no I didnt wipe his bum for him any later than I did my daughter. I just kept talking to him about it and put up with the inevitable skids! Talking to my friends with and without boys, this seems to be a male thing and not just the little boys in the house either.
    Maybe he would have been worse if I had been like some of my parents who sit and watch Jeremy Kyle all day and treat their children like pet poodles. However despite his initial immaturites he is a very gifted artist and is a wonderful writer with a fantastic imagination and way with words. His speech can still be a bit awkard at times though this maybe as much to do with being a teenager! Tying shoe laces was mastered about 2 years later than my daughter and is still very laboured. His muscle tone and certain movements still seem underdeveloped. He has always been very tall for his age and has large hands, so feel perhaps his motor issues are as much about needing to grow into his body. He has the body of a child 18months older than him.
     
  19. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    We have Y6 parents who are still bewildered how their child manages to hang up their coat without help.
     
  20. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I remember being gobsmacked when at swimming lessons, watching my friend dressing her 10 year old son, from drying him to helping him step into his pants. Meanwhile a 6 year old next to him dried and dressed himself. What was more unbelievable was my friend is a reception teacher.
     

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