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appropriate contact?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Peapods, Feb 9, 2011.

  1. In what way is it risky? I dont find this at all inappropriate, in fact, it's worry like this that stops us rubbing sore knees and patting a childs arm to say well done. I have no idea why this would be deemed inappropriate - but Im prepared for someone to correct me as I'm sure someone will.
  2. Not encouraged at our place. Other children could mimic this behaviour and drop their friend (has happened in the past) and hurt them.
  3. I totally agree with you.
    Someone might get dropped, children might be pushing, shoving and cajoling to get a go, and in the end the dinner supervisors will tire of it before the children and then they have the challenge of refusing a whole crowd of children looking for the piggy back ride they now think is their right.
    And does it signal the right kind of relationship (mutual respect)?
  4. So parents who give their kids piggy back rides lack respect for them? Illogical.I actually wonder if the world has gone mad at times when an adult can't give a child a fun piggy back ride for fear of getting in trouble. Why stop there - don't let them sit on chairs either, in case the fall off, crack their skulls and die.
  5. There's a huge difference between the parent relationship and the dinner lady relationship with child. And there's nothing illogical about that. Mutual respect expresses itself differently in each case, depending on level of intimacy and familiarity.
  6. But what intimate relationship can a piggy back possibly be hinting at? Where on earth does this depend on a level on 'intimacy and familiarity'? I understand the risk factor of kids copying (I remember the 'You've Been Tangoed' advert), and bugging the dinnerlady to carry on (but they can say NO and mean it!)

    But surely, a simple bloody piggy back doesn't hint at inappropriate behaviour?
  7. I don't mean sexually inappropriate or anything to do with physical contact in that way, I mean inappropriate to the level of the relationship. Dinner ladies need to have authority and not be seen as chums to the children. They have a hard enough task, which often amounts to crowd control, without having this false chumminess thrown in.
  8. By that logic, parents who play with their children or teachers who have fun lessons wouldn't be able to control a crowd if their lives depended on it.
  9. Well, crowd control isn't part of the parental role, so parents don't have to be able to do it. Besides which, don't you see the qualitative difference between someone's relationship with their parent and with their dinner supervisor? Maybe there's a little more crowd control involved in teaching, but then there is also training, and I would surmise that most teachers have benefited enough from their training to know that it is inadvisable to assume the familiarity of being someone who gives piggybacks. Or are you saying that those fun lessons you mention involve piggybacks given by teachers? If so, we should be paid more (facetious comment, by the way). Unfortunately dinner supervisors are just that - supervisors. They have little training and are paid abysmally while having to keep the peace in large playgrounds full of children who they have scant opportunities to get to know and build up a relationship with. It is unwise for a person in this position to be offering piggybacks to children, and in my opinion highly unprofessional.
  10. Sounds like you went to Summerhill. I must have missed out on that era. I was at Primary school in the 60s and my children were there in the 80s and 90s and these experiences passed us all by (lthough we did get it all at home). I do remember people being given the bumps on their birthdays, but I hid when it was mine - not wanting to be mercilessly tossed up in the air.
    I think you are talking with nostalgia about a lost age, and need to imagine clearly how this would work now - presumably you are a teacher? Primary? Time to look more objectively at your Cider with Rosie childhood (oh yes, and would you want your underage child imbibing cider with a budding femme fatal under a haystack?)
    And it's hard to imagine dinner ladies being treated with less respect than they already are in 100% of primary schools i have worked in (and that's a lot).

  11. I relay want to say that there is nothing wrong with this, and we should encourage more care-free play like this - however I cant.
    By the very nature of getting a child onto ones back you put yourself in a position where allegations could be made against you. You also have the health and safety to think about - has this been risk-assessed?
    I hate the fact that in this day and age we think this way, but... protect yourself - nobody else will.
  12. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    I think, for me, that this is the key issue. If it works in your school then fabulous, let them carry on. If the behaviour is generally worsening and respect is lessening then perhaps it is time to put a stop to it.

    What works in one schools, would be a disaster in another. If all are happy with it then do carry on, children have little enough physical fun and play in their lives already.

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