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Anyone else struggle to be sociable?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by dogcat, Nov 11, 2011.

  1. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Being as I am going through a break from my bf for a month, I am really trying to widen my social circle and be more sociable. This is mainly as since moving nearly a yr ago I have not really made enough of an effort.
    I have joined a local meetup group and they are a erally nice group, I just seem to find it all too easy to cancel or not go to events.
    Does anybody else find that they are lonely, but still struggle to be as sociable as they could be?!
  2. Not sure that forcing yourself to do something that doesn't come naturally can be called "sociable". If it's just a means to an end to meet people to talk to so you don't feel like a bit of a loner, or to find a new partner, then it's a strategy. Unless you pursue it because you desperately miss the company of other people in a group/public situation, I don't think doing it makes you "sociable".
    We all vary in our need for particular kinds of interactions. What are your main reasons for cancelling?
  3. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Usually that I am just knackered from work!
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Sometimes, if you make the effort and get yourself out, you get a second wind and actually enjoy yourself.
  5. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Never a truer word said!
    It's all about giving yourself that boot up the as.s (as we all need from time to time!) and going for it. I too am terrible for thinking that I can't be bothered, but I seldom regret the effort.
  6. dogcat

    dogcat New commenter

    Well with that in mind I am going to an event tonight :)
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I hope you enjoy yourself! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
  8. I'm another one who thinks I'd be happier going home rather than meeting friends for lunch/drinks/dinner etc.
    There's a lot to be said for booting one's own **** and getting out there. If nothing else it makes your friends remain your friends. If you know what I mean...

  9. bed

    bed New commenter

    I have few friends and value their company enormously - I don't 'do' big group stuff - because generally I can't stand 'people'!!
    And for that reason I will not travel on buses, hate trains, and can't bear Morrisons. I can do Sainsbury's, but prefer Waitrose.
    Can't bear the proletariat masses - and find polite small talk inane, vacuous and utterly pointlessly depressing.
    Life's too short to spend precious time with people you don't feel are wonderful.
    So no I'm not really sociable - but I don't struggle with it!

  10. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    Being sociable is over-rated IMHO.
  11. I'm with mandala1
  12. But not actually 'with' because that would be too sociable
  13. v12


    Between wives I've always found local Amateur Operatic Societies quite good for meeting people.
  14. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    Socializing is over rated. I have friends from school and uni who will always be friends. Since then I have met a load of people who are OK, but most of them are frankly fairly thick and not worthy. I think I have reached an age when I don't need 'friends'. I like my pets, I like my own company. I enjoy going places on my own, when I can please myself what I see, where I eat and so on. There is no way on Earth that I would want to socialize with anyone from school. They are all Goody Two Shoes Suck Ups or God Botherers.
  15. That made me giggle. Thanks, I really needed that one today!
  16. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    I'm considered a real oddity at work due to the fact that I never attend staff nights out. I enjoy going to the theatre/concert/meal with my OH/sister/close friends but going out with a bunch of people who are bound to end up drunk has never appealed. I considered going out for a staff meal a couple of weeks back, but changed my mind when I found out they were meeting in a pub first and weren't going to sit down to eat until 9pm. The next day, when I heard tales of their drunken revelry, I realised that I'd done the right thing by staying in and watching Midsomer Murders.
  17. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Is it an age thing do you think? Are there any 'young' posters who feel the same?
  18. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    It could be age related. Having said that, I've always felt the same way.
  19. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Me too, but I suppose I felt more obliged to 'enjoy myself' when younger.
  20. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    It's a bit strange if you don't like enjoying yourself.

    As I get older I'm happier to go out with other people and see what happens. When I was younger I preferred to stay in.

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