Anyone else find some of their pupils' misdemeanors funny?

My very worst boy was caught singing obscene lyrics to "Lord of the Dance" today. The Deputy Head made him write out the entire song, including his "new" lyrics, then show it to me.
Needless to say, I was shocked to see the lyrics:
"Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance, said he.
And I'll f.uck you up, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance said he."
I don't know why, but despite the terrible day I was having, I just couldn't stop laughing. (He was not in the room.)
Anybody else find inappropriate things really funny? I have had a rubbish week, I would love to hear stories....

 

One lunchtime, a kid decided to go to the pet shop, buy 100 live crickets, then let them loose in Woolworths.

I thought it was funny - the manager of Woolworths didn't, as they might have got into the pick 'n' mix.

 

That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. Love it!

 

One colleague had a child with bad gas in her class. Another child used dazzle to draw a picture of said child with flames coming out his bottom. I thought it was very funny.

 

I had to leave the room when this happened. During wet play a number of boys from my class were sent to the office for making toy guns from cubes and pretending to shot each other from behind desks and genrally having a disruptive mini battle in class.
Scene: All lined up in heads office with 'evidence' (paper/ cube guns) on the desk.
Head: I've heard you were playing guns, you've been warned against this.
Child: ummmmm...
H: Well I was told you were pointing this gun at people and saying 'bang bang'
C: (indignant) I didn't!!!
H: Are you saying X is lying...
C: I'm not!!! I said (realistic noise and action pose) pow-pow!

I had to leave, as did every other adult leaving the confused child standing there while we smothered laughter outside.

 

It wasn't a misdemeanour and it was only a bit inappropriate... at the swimming baths doing a swimming lesson with 5 year olds. Had hold of one boy's hands and was saying 'kick' to get him to kick his legs and he gave me a big, sloppy, wet, open-mouthed kiss right on the lips!

 

That's just sweet!
Kate - Love it when you just have to walk out!!!

 

A few years ago I was with my class when they were getting dressed for their Christmas play (year 1/2). One of the girls came up to me and said (with a teeny smirk on her face, but a bit cross too) 'Jamie called me a 'poo poo bum head'. Now, because I was kind of 'off -duty' in my head as it was the evening, I let out a laugh. Then, when I realised there was a parent in earshot, I had to tell Jamie to be good and sort of apologise to the parent. I still think it's funny now.
A similar thing happened the other day. I had to tell 2 kids off for messing around with a spider in assembly. I said to them 'I don't care if there are 100 spiders on the floor. When it's assembly time you listen to the Head teacher.'
They replied ' It wasn't a spider Miss. Someone dropped a bogie on the floor and Fred was trying to flick it at me.' I tried SO hard to look cross, but I couldn't stop a smirk appearing - which they noticed. Damn!!

 

Our old English office had a long narrow passageway before you got into the office and two year 11 boys hid in there to try to avoid a detention - the joke was on them though as our TA locked them in (by mistake!)

 

I was once taking my Y1 class to assembly and they were lined up behind me ready to go. The little girl behind me was really close so I said, 'J__ could you get any closer?' and quick as a flash she went under my skirt and popped her head out of the waist band!!!! It was a floaty skirt with an elastic waist. I laughed out loud then suddenly realised how horrible inappropriate it was and said 'Noooooooooooo!!! Come out of there!' The class was roaring with laughter and once she was out we had to really compose ourselves before assembly. I was glad I had black opaque tights on!!

 

*horribly

 

Oh god! That's a good one!
I'm really glad you've all posted these. My boyfriend is watching some programme about Tourettes, and laughing his head off. I am sniggering at these stories and am able to tut at him for his insensitivity....

 

I had to laugh at the sheer stupidity of a child in my class once; you really shouldn't but I just couldn't help it:
We were study Macbeth and were talking about witches and what would happen to them if they were accused. We talked about how the witch would be tied to a chair or something, and dunked into the river: if they floated, they were a witch, if they drowned, they were innocent.
One girl looked very confused. "But Miss, how can you drown in a river, rivers aren't very deep!"
Apparently she thought that rivers were practical dribbles of water. I pointed out that right next to our local football stadium, there was a huge river. She said, "Oh, is that a river?"
I couldn't stop laughing! Even better is that said football stadium is called 'The Riverside Stadium".

 

Aww bless Eva - do you worry about releasing her into the real world?! I just remembered a good one... My TA and I worked so hard one year with a little boy with ASD (Y1 still, same school as skirt girl) and we had great success - loved that boy. Anyway, she moved up with him to Y2 to a teacher that really didn't understand his needs. They clashed big time and the TA really found it hard. One week the teacher was off ill and he had a fab time with the supply. The following Monday she was back and he walked in, clocked her, and went, 'Awwwww no!!! Not YOU!' She went mad but the lovely TA had to leave the room as she wanted to laugh so much as she felt exactly the same!

 

the school i worked at before..quite often had a police car turn up or a fire engine or mobs of parents...never a dull moment......and i know you shouldn't laugh but whilst the police were inside some year 11 boys had managed to find some sanitary towels with wings and stick them all around the blue flashing light

 

Just this afternoon, my Year 9s who I really like were playing up because the room was boiling - radiators stuck on, windows don't open. It got to 3pm and I said to them "I'll do a deal with you. Stop moaning about how hot it is and I'll let you watch ten minutes of Pearl Harbor. Maybe that way I can stop having homicidal thoughts." The naughtiest boy in the class started giggling, so I asked him what he thought was so funny. In between giggles he said "you said homicidal. That means gay!" By the time we'd all stopped laughing at him and explained the difference between homicidal and homosexual there was no time to watch Pearl Harbor.

 

When my year 4 class collapsed in giggles at being told that they could go to the hall to hear a brass ensemble, I realised I needed to tell them it was nothing to do with women's underwear.

 

We had just had all the toilets done out a few years ago. It was the first time since the school was build and all the staff, especially the HT were quite proud of them.
T boys in my class, year one, discvered how to unscrew the u-bend on one of the sinks and totally flooded the boys toilets.
All the CAs were going mad because they had to mop it up. The went ballistic and had them in her office to give them a good talking to. Then she insisted I got the parents in at hometime to be brought to her too and told of their terrible behaviour in OUR NEW TOILETS.
I had a terrible time all day not laughing in front of the furious CAs (no offense guys, you do a fantastic job) the boys themselves and then the parents as I escorted them through to HTs office.
I just really thought it was hillarious.
Funny thing was one of the boys was notoriously naughty whilst the other one, although an imp, had quite a good reputation so we all secretly blamed the naughty one although we were very fair when dealing with the matter as they had both been involved.
Mum of the imp confessed to me a few weeks later that she had had a blocked sink the weekend before and as partener was fixing it he had showed imp what to do.
He had obviousley decided to share this with his friend lol.

Neli

 

Sorry about the mistakes but you get the jist. Time for bed for me I think.

Neli