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Another Pushy Parents Type Thread - Help Please!

Discussion in 'Primary' started by Thoresby_house, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. Thoresby_house

    Thoresby_house New commenter

    Sorry - this is one of the first threads I've posted, so I'm not sure whether there's any forum etiquette that I'm not aware of.

    Basically, I teach a Year 3 class in which there is a child whose parents think that he is extraordinarily gifted. The child is average, probably slightly below if I'm being honest, but the parents just won't accept that he's not 'top group' material and are continuously lobbying for him to be moved into my top group - he's achieving at a level which is quite a lot lower than they are, and it would be simply unfair to move him, besides which I generally don't move a child on a parental request.

    The parents are also obsessed with the idea of the 'Gifted and Talented' list, which the school still has in place and, again, constantly request that his name is added. They are also very keen to see what his 'enrichment' work is, and often bring me 'samples' of the 'work' he does at home - again, average to slightly below average for his cohort.

    I'm a fairly new teacher, and I just wondered how I should handle this - I think the child is going to be affected by it once he realises that he's not as academic as his parents are convinced he is, and I would love to find a way to put an end to their - sorry, I can't think of a better word to describe it - delusions.

    Any help gratefully received!
  2. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    Ask them in and give them some examples of the type of work you expect from your most able they may realise it's beyond his present ability.
  3. Could you subtly encourage parents to look at the range of children's work on display within the classroom?
    When discussing the child's abilities, use cold hard facts to support your point of view (SATs scores, test results, etc) and perhaps have the class "average" for each available to give the parents some idea of comparison to other children.
  4. What the above posters said. We had an opposite problem to yours, parent thought their child's writing was fine when it was actually almost illegible. We showed the parent copies of other children's in the class to demonstrate what we were aiming for and what their child could be capable of.
  5. what everyone esle said - but also - can you enrol the help of the gat co-ordinator - they are probably all too used to dealing with this sort of situation
    if things get desparate, can you give the child the enrichment work to do at home with the parents? don't do this off your own bat - talk to the gat co-ord and your smt - i had to do it with one child for a year (don't make my daft mistake and send home anything you need back [​IMG] )
  6. Thoresby_house

    Thoresby_house New commenter

    Thanks for all the posts in reply - you lot are fast!

    Yes, backing up what I'm saying with cold hard fact might work - I'm sure they'd have to listen to levels, etc.

    And showing them other pupil's work sounds like a good idea as well - I might show them what we expect an average child to be able to do and what their son is doing as well - I can imagine that going down really well...

    And I will definitely involve the G&T co-ordinator, if they haven't already themselves. I'm quite sure that they think I'm incompetent because I haven't noticed that he's highly 'gifted'. He's quite 'strong willed' so I wonder whether they're using his supreme intelligence as an excuse for bad behaviour, personally.

    Actually, I might start by talking to the Reception/Year 1/Year 2 teachers about what they thought of him and the parents....

    Thanks again!
  7. oh my - there's a lot of that about, whether the kids are gifted or not
    and yet - i have had pass through my hands children who have left me awestruck with their intelligence and multi-facetedness - and neither they nor their parents were ever the ones who kicked up a fuss

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