One day as a shepherd is looking after his sheep by the side of a deserted road in the Highlands, a brand new Porsche 4 X 4 suddenly races up and screeches to a halt beside him. The driver, a woman wearing a Chanel suit, Ray Bans and a Cartier watch, steps out and asks the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have can I keep one?" The shepherd looks at the large flock and says OK. The woman connects a laptop to a mobile phone fax,enters the NASA website,scans the field using GPS, opens a database linked to 60 Excel files with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on a high tech mini printer. She studies the report and says to the shepherd, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep". "And they are all squashed in one corner of your 517 acre field." The shepherd replies "That's correct. You can have the pick of my flock. The woman packs away her equipment, looks at the flock and puts an animal in the boot of her Porsche. As she is about to leave, the shepherd says, "If I can guess your profession, will you return the animal to me?" The woman thinks for a moment then agrees. The shepherd says "You are an OFSTED Inspector". "Correct," responds the woman, "But how did you know?" The shepherd replies, "Simple. First you turn up without being invited. Secondly, you are obsessed with numbers. Third, you wasted a lot of time telling me something I already know. Finally, you don't understand anything about the work I do but interfere anyway....... Now can I have my dog back?