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Amanda Holden

Discussion in 'Personal' started by fantastischfish, Feb 6, 2011.

  1. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    I dint even know who she is. I probably wouldn't know her if she bit me on the bum. I don't care who she is either, she's a human being, who's lost her child.
    This thread has shown some true colours indeed.
    I wonder if some people get a thrill out of being deliberately unpleasant, I suspect they might.
  2. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Agree with Curlygirly. I didn't actually know who she was, but does that matter? She's a woman who's lost her baby, and it doesn't matter how much money she has, she is a person and she will feel the loss the same way anyone else would.
    Whatever your feelings about celebs, I don't understand how some people can be so unfeeling and show such a lack of empathy.
    Like I said before, i'm 28 weeks pregnant now so probably more-or-less the same as she was, so I really empathise, but even if i weren't pregnant or didn't have a child already, my heart would go out to her, or any woman in the same situation.
  3. How many times have we posted about something that has happened to someone we know in real life? Other posters don't know who the people involved are, yet they can still offer empathy and understanding. You only have to look at the pregnancy forum to see how the kindness of strangers works.

    The OP was simply saying this had happened to a person. A famous person, yes, but still someone who will have to deal with this horrible situation. It doesn't matter what age she is, what her fertility history is, what she's famous for, she is someone who was expecting the arrival of a child and now has to deal with something so upsetting. Yes, there are bigger stories in the news, and terrible things happen to hundreds of people every day, but I don't see why some people feel the need to start a row about such a sad matter.
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I think that is exaggeration. I don't believe anyone has been deliberately unpleasant.
  5. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    Im just saying how it looks to me.
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    No. You are doing more than that. You are imputing base motives to people.
  7. anon2799

    anon2799 New commenter

    I think there is a poster on this thread who has tried to " stir things up" by making some pretty thoughtless( at best) and unkind comments. I'm allowed an opinion on that, and of course, you're free to disagree.
  8. It is very likely that she would have had to go through labour and the delivery of her dead baby - how else do you think the baby would have been delivered?
    Many women reach full term pregnancies at 40 years +

    I can't quite believe huevosrancheros' comments, they are simply foul.

  9. I am absolutely shocked, disgusted and deeply offended by this comment and previous ones you have made.

    The clue is in the name 'stillbirth.' It is very much a birth in every sense of the word.

    In my own case over 5 hours of labour and all the time knowing that you are going to be giving birth to a dead baby. Nothing can prepare you for that agony. Then finally it's over: you get to hold your dead baby...not an 'it'. Doesn't sound very pleasant when put so bluntly does it? Well that's because it isn't.

    25 years on all I have are those hours to remember: that cuddle to remember and a photograph of my son.

    I don't care who she is. I know nothing about her. I care not for celebrities full-stop. I do care, however, for ANY woman that has to go through the distress of stillbirth.

    But I guess that as you don't know me you don't need to worry about any offence that your comments have caused.
  10. Paradoxicalgirly

    Paradoxicalgirly New commenter

    Well, that's certainly not what my gynae said!!! She said it was down to an individual's fertility levels, egg reserve and egg quality. These differ from individual to individual regardless of age. Sorry if you don't like that fact.
  11. I think there must be a lot of truth in that Paradoxical, otherwise I wouldn't be here. [​IMG]
    My mother conceived naturally and gave birth to three healthy children (way back in the 1950s when such scare stories didn't abound) when she was 39, 41 and 43.
    As for still births and late miscarriages they are dreadfully sad for the parents concerned. I am sure Amanda Holden is going through a very difficult time.
    Am I alone however in thinking that other celeb Tweets (via Twitter) to her smack of 'me, me, me hear me' band-wagon jumping? It's a bit crass to offer sympathy in such a public way, especially as few of them would REALLY know her. Whatever happened to dignity,solemnity and the heart-felt hug when sympathising? The gruesome celeb Tweet is, imo, the tacky technological, almost meaningless 'don't forget I care' equivalent of laying of garage-bought flowers at a death site.
  12. It would appear that still births aren't just about the mother's age, i remember Annie Lennox going through a still birth about the time my son was born and that was 20 odd years ago making Annie in her late 20s or maybe early 30s and of course Lily Allen is very young. I don't personally know anyone who has gone through it but I can't even begin to imagine the pain and anguish of it.

  13. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    My cousin went through it. She had a stillborn daughter a few months after I gave birth to my own daughter.
    My cousin was diabetic. This had nothing to do with it. The baby had twisted its own umbilical cord and cut off the blood supply. The baby was a few days past its due date....the full 9 months.
    My cousin had to wait to deliver her dead daughter as her diabetes became unstable and that had to be sorted out first. She had a vaginal delivery as the doctors advised it is safer than a c-section (which it is) and my cousin would recover physically much faster.
    My aunt stayed with her during the delivery and said the worst bit was not hearing a cry as the baby was born.
    Desperately sad for any woman to go through.
  14. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    Losing a child at any stage is incredibly sad and difficult - I've had 2 ectopic pregnancies and I will never, ever forget those babies. It must be so incredibly difficult and heartbreaking to have a stillborn child. I think that unless you go through it, you will not know what it is like.
  15. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Agree. I think we can all imagine what it would be like but we cannot experience the unbearable pain it must be if it happens to you.
    There but for the grace of God...................................
    When it happened to my cousin none of us knew what to say to her....least of all me who had a healthy baby girl in my arms. We just didn't know what to say. Sounds awful but it's true.
  16. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Maybe enough really has been said on this thread, and I'm not casting aspersions here. I've never even seen a picture of Amanda Holden but, having heard of her loss, I think 'How sad she must be. Life can be cruel' and move on to more personal matters. I'm sure most of us do. We all know that if there are thirty deaths caused by a flood in our own country it often causes us more heartache than a thousand would do on the other side of the world, however sympathetic we might be. Of course, once you have visited a country on the other side of the world, your attitude changes. That's no reason to berate those who haven't visited.
    People who've experienced the grief of a child death are bound to feel more empathy. They've been there themselves and memories are rekindled. But celebrities are like those countries far away that we've visited. We think we know them, and we do, in a way. They fall into the middle ground between the people we love and total strangers.
    Only the other day, I learned that the owner of the hotel where we stayed in Sri Lanka and his wife had died [I was going to write 'perished' and realised that I was talking in Tabloidspeak] in the Tsunami. I'm not grieing for them - they have their loved ones to do that. But knowing now exactly how the wave took the place we fell in love with and the decent people we met while we were there gives the memory a poignancy I wouldn't otherwise feel.It made it personal.
    Mr inky was appalled when I sobbed in the street when the news of Diana's death struck. No way did I join in the hysterical reaction over the following weeks but my initial reaction was tears. I still can't really explain them but it must be the illusion of closeness, I suppose.
    The poster with a lot to stuff to say about Amanda Holden comes across as a bit judgmental. Too old. Too small. Too vain. What did she expect?
    But it's worth remembering how many women die in childbirth every day, and how many babies too, and then putting your moneywhere your heart is.
    Sorry to blather on.

  17. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    Brilliant post, inky.
  18. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Well said Inky and I think this event makes us realise how lucky most of us are. It made me think not just of Amanda Holden but the many faceless ordinary folk who also suffer such intense pain and heartbreak.
    I view every safe delivery of a baby as nothing short of a miracle!
  19. inky your post made perfect sense
  20. I agree - your post put it perfectly. I'm sitting reading this thread whilst watching last night's one born every minute - the thought of going through labour like the women on the tv knowing that your baby was already dead inside you must be horrendous.
    I've suffered two early MCs, the first was discovered at 10 weeks when the heart stopped beating and I had to have a D+C to remove the 'products of conception' as the procedure is called. What upset me most was the lack of sympathy that many people, including medical staff, friends, colleagues etc, showed. I think some of the messages on this post have been so kind and heartwarming.
    Sometimes such a story needs to be in the news to allow the topic of miscarriage/still birth to be aired, because it's generally hidden away. I know I had people who still refer to my miscarriages as 'what happened' rather than talking about the loss/death sufffered.

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