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Discussion in 'Personal' started by fantastischfish, Feb 6, 2011.
Oh, how totally sad.
Having lost two myself, my heart goes out to her.
It is devastating.
Such sad news.....and just after hearing my friend had delivered a baby girl this very morning.
Of course, this is very sad. Being a celeb makes it no less so.
I can speak as a mother of two of three children being born early, and such an outcome is not always the case of "early" birth, and there can be many things which can happen late in pregnancy to cause a still birth too.
I do believe Amanda is nearly 40. Maybe we just can't all assume that we can pick and choose our children when naturally our fertility is in decline. She was a very little woman ( physically) so who is to know whether timing and strength had anything to do with it.
Perhaps a lesson that not even celebs can have what they want when they want it. Which of course, makes it no less a loss for her.
My heart goes out to her and you too Jubilee.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that this was horribly worded. It comes off a little as if you are suggesting that Amanda was assuming she could have whatever she wanted, and was 'picking and choosing'.
Amanda already has one child, who is five. It almost sounds as though you are suggesting it was selfish of her to wait until she was older to have children, expecting that she'd be able to.
Again, I'm going to assume this isn't what you meant.
huevos - show a bit of female solidarity without making it into a debate on fertility.
As you say - she has suffered a huge loss.
Let us think of that and not of when/why/should you have children.
I shall never forget the two who died - they have names but were never buried. They are part of me and Amanda will not forget the child she has lost.
It is not the right place or time to discuss other issues.
I don't think she has different feelings, just because she is a celeb.
Have a heart.
It's terribly sad. Just because she's in the public eye doesn't mean she's fair game to pass comment on. The woman's just lost a baby for goodness sakes.
We don't know about her fertility issues and personal circumstances, nor should we.
My sympathies go to anyone who has suffered such a loss.
I too found that comment insensitive. My second child was stillborn full term. I've just marked his 25 anniversary and it is still painful. Post mortem was inconclusive. I was only 23 but petite. Are you suggesting that my size was a factor. Stillbirth, like cot death, is unexplainable, unavoidable and can affect anyone regardless of age, size, wealth and fame.
The poor woman doesn't need this kind of judgement, nor does any woman that has suffered a stillbirth. They have enough guilt of their own, I can assure you of that.
Indeed, I do have a heart, and have had experiences with my own two very prem babies, who regular visitors here will know I have discussed.
But there are two points here: one is that pregnancy and childbirth is often problematic, and pushing 40 is always going to be risky ( especially keeping a size 8 figure), and also that whilst the outpouring of sympathy is joined in with by me, why are we all crowing over it????? By the sound of it, this event is just an excuse for us all to prove we all have our closet bereavements, and most of us keep them like that.
Often there is no reason discovered for these tragedies. Sometimes it's obvious (cord wrapped around neck etc).
I just short of 27 when I lost my baby and no reason was found at the time. I found out after my next pregnancy when I came round from an emergency caesarian minus my womb. I had placental tumours growing (one 4 years old and the other 2 and both pre-cancerous) . They were putting almost fatal pressure on my last baby. Careful monitoring meant that they rushed me to surgery when her hearbeat stopped in the womb and got her out just in time.
Mother nature has a very good way of dealing with women who are too old and not physically up to having kids, huevosrancheros - they stop producing eggs.
If you are fit and healthy and have previously given birth, there is no medical evidence to suggest that you should desist from having another baby. She planned a baby and mother nature obliged.
Her size is no issue. I've seen huge bouncing babbies being produced by mere slips of girls, while all I managed for my heifer-like appearance was two tiny ones.
No - there is one point. Amanda has lost her baby. Amanda is a celebrity but Amanda is also a person, with feelings.
And my heart goes out to her.
Your discussion is irrelevant and mean. This is not a time to speak of it. She will be grieving and your opinion is diddly squat.
There is a time for debate - but not on the back of somebody who is devastated.
I feel so sad for anyone who's had to go through this, and it must be so awful to have to do it in the public eye. I think it's a bit mean spirited to say this is an excuse for other people to "prove" they've been bereaved - most people here, I think, were merely empathising with what Amanda Holden is going through.
There is not just one point. I am deeply sorry for anyone who suffers late miscarriage or has a still born child but I do not know Amanda Holden and I cannot see why everyone is so devastated for her in particular. What is it about people that they wear their hearts on their sleeves for 'celebs'. There is a universal sadness and grief about losing a child. Why are people focusing on this poor woman. This thread is sensationalist and hysterical.
I agree celtic queen! The point ot this thread was to spare a thought for a person (not celebrity) who has been dealt a tragic blow. Many of us who have lost a child whether a mc or still birth will be reminded of our own personal pain when a high profile woman is reported to have lost their child. It is natural for us to share our loss to give comfort to others on the thread as well as ourselves as we have some idea what Amanda Holden is going through. Huevos Ranchoeros is being thoughtless, heartless even and her points are not welcome at this time on this thread. How dare she pile in with poisonous c r a p when a woman is suffering and accuse you all of trying to one up each other with your stories! Most mc or stillbirth stories are by nature horrible and hard to deal with...wind your neck in Huevos!
She is not just a celebrity. She is a woman who has lost her baby. I think all of us would have as much sympathy with a TES poster and we have done.
Her grief is no less grief than our grief when we grieve.
You are missing my point.
Which was what?
i can assure you I am not crowing. I would give anything to have my son rather than my 'closet bereavement' and I choose to talk about my experience because it happened, it hurt, it still hurts. Why should I pretend it never happened. I hope you enjoy your 3/3 live birth success story. Lucky you! Mind you don't crow too loudly!