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Am i wrong to be mad?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by wellard, Aug 22, 2011.

  1. My husband and I are going through a really **** time at the moment as you have probably read on some of my other postings. Last night we had a really great chat and things seemed a lot brighter so today I felt happy for the first time in God knows how long. It was shortlived. Tonight he has announced that he has reserved a puppy and has not asked what I think? One of our problems is that we don't have a lot of money. Should I be mad that he has done this without asking me?
     
  2. My husband and I are going through a really **** time at the moment as you have probably read on some of my other postings. Last night we had a really great chat and things seemed a lot brighter so today I felt happy for the first time in God knows how long. It was shortlived. Tonight he has announced that he has reserved a puppy and has not asked what I think? One of our problems is that we don't have a lot of money. Should I be mad that he has done this without asking me?
     
  3. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Senior commenter

  4. Ask him why. Maybe he thought it would make you happy.
     
  5. He did it because he wanted a dog and thought it was cute. I thought marriage was about discussing things and making mutual decisions.
     
  6. I would be LIVID if my husband did that! A puppy is a living being and needs its needs taken care of. Will he be expecting you to care? Is the puppy INSTEAD of caring for you??
    He definitely should have consulted you and you should have been there when the puppy was chsen if you'd decided to go ahead.
     
  7. Yup. We have had a puppy since October. It's bloody hard work - and we hand ours back to the Hearing Dogs charity next month.(Sob!) So, Is he going to get up in the middle of the night when the puppy needs to be taken out; take the puppy outside every hour during the the day to pee/dump; clear up the mess indoors and out; teach the pup to walk on the lead, to come when called etc. We have been told that we have done a great job with our puppy but that is because we did it together and we had the guidance of the charity but I think you could be the one picking up the pieces, and the poo, probably. It is horrible to see dogs being walked on leads and never socialising with other dogs. Buy 'The Perfect Puppy' by Gwen Bailey (?) for great advice. Good luck - don't be the mug who takes sole charge!
     
  8. marlin

    marlin Star commenter Forum guide

    Do you want a puppy? You haven't said what your feelings are about that - only that it wasn't discussed. If you actually don't mind and you feel that your relationship has a chance of getting on a better footing then it may be best just to accept the puppy and enjoy the fun as well as the hard work.
     
  9. dumpty

    dumpty Lead commenter

    I'd say you have a right to be mad but that talking to him while made will make things worse. It may be he has made the classic mistake of thinking a puppy dog is a toy (as many men do, myself included!!) and that, unlike you, he has not thought about the levels of care and expense involved in getting one. So without screaming or calling him thick, have a nice talk about it and let him see this is a rash decision to say the least! (Would also add Marlin above makes some good points indeed).
     
  10. You should be very mad.

    Do you remember a TV programme called "2.4 children"? At one point everyone except mum wants a dog so she makes them live as if they have a dog.

    They have to take the imaginary dog for walks etc.

    Try to get him to do the same, don't forget to put paper down, but readybreak makes something similar to puppy poo - p;ut splats about overnight for him to clean up in the morning. Make him go for 20-30 min walks 2 - 3 times a day.


    BTW are you both working? If so not a good idea to have a puppy to have a lot of time alone. When we got a puppy as children the breeder would not let puppies go to people who were out at work unless they had another dog because they are social creatures.

     
  11. Yes, you should be cross - a dog is a huge committment and one you shouldn't be taking on if you are both working.
     

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