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Am I too young?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by antoniou, Feb 12, 2011.

  1. If you really want a baby, go for it. Don't let our ages put you off! Some of have been trying for a long time though, I was 29 when I started ttc, some were younger, some older. It's all down to when you feel ready (and how soon after ttc you get preg). Good luck x
     
  2. Obviously it is your decision. I was in my 5th year of teaching, 27 when I became pregnant and had LO at 28. I personally could not have imagined being able to have a baby earlier. However, my mum had 3 children by the time she was 25 and so ...
    Only you can know the answer to this question. sorry not sure if this will help. It also depends if you want to go back at all? I am fairly sure there are people on here who have had LO's in their NQT year, its whatever works for you.
    Good luck
    x
     
  3. I wasn't ready at 25 but everyone is different. We started trying at 31 (me) and husband 33, and unfortunately we're still trying.
    If it's right for you and your husband then go for it. Some couples are extremely fortunate where it happens straight away but some do struggle. Trying to conceive can be stressful and frustrating plus every other emotion you can think of.
    Wishing you all the best x
     
  4. cally1980

    cally1980 Established commenter

    There will never be a 'right' time to have children but I had my son at 23 (im now 30) and I don't feel that I was too young, or that my parenting would be any different were I having my first child now. So from an age perspective I would say 25 is not too young.
    From a career perspective I really could not say as I retrained after having my son.
     
  5. I would say that it is a very individual decision. I am 35 and pregnant and that is what I planned (my husband is 31) as I did not feel ready until I was about 33 and then there were things I wanted to do before tying myself down to a LO.
    I would say that before you jump in think if there is anything you would like to do just the two of you before you have a child. There were places I wanted to visit and things I wanted to achieve in the house before I would start trying. I am so glad that we have done the trips to Australia, cruise around the med, cruise around the Baltic, trips to New York etc - things that are not necessarily practical with a baby. I now feel that I am starting a new chapter in our lives with different experiences ensuring we did all we wanted as a couple.
    My sister had her children at 25 and 28 and I know that she now looks back and wishes she would have done more before they came along. Don't get me wrong, her children are wonderful and she loves them very much but I do think she is envious of the things we have done child-free.
    Just make sure you think about the sacrifices and if you are still really keen then go for it.
    Good luck with whatever you decide.
     
  6. I can understand this but children tdo grow up and then you can do what you want. I started trying at 35, didn't succeed and so will be childless forever. I don't want to do any of the child free stuff now, not interested, and of course, that's all I've got. Sorry, sound really bitter and twisted, I know.
    If you're ready then go for it, an advantage of trying at this age is that you'll probably succeed quite quickly but if there are issues they are more likely to get sorted - time is on your side and treatment is more effective in younger women.
     
  7. Hi, I was in a very similar position to you. Started ttc and got pregnant when I was 25, turned 26 last month. I feel more than ready. Ppl will pass comment on everything you do and say regardless! You have to make decisions according to you and your husband. Best advice I've been given.
     
  8. Hi! you are the EXACT same age as my husband and I!!!! we are 17 weeks pregnant today!!!
    it took us 11 months to conceive!
    personally I don't think age is any issue, I think its more important to be in the right place in your life.
    I have had a few people comment "but your so young....." but to me that just means I got lucky and have found myself in the position where we can have children earlier than some.
    we've been together for 8 years, a lot longer than a lot of "older people" who are trying for a baby, I'm in my 4th year of teaching, we have been married about 18 months, have savings in the bank, own our own house, apart from a mortgage we have NO debts etc. Personally I don't see what would be different if we waited until I was 30!
    having said that I am very happy being a teacher, I don't particually see myself trying to get into senior management etc. If anything I would see myself going to 3 days a week once i have a couple of kids, finances allowing of course! If I want to "progress my career" then I can do that when the kids start school, if thats in say 7 years or so I will only be 32, so in that way I see having kids younger as a positive!
    I think it all depends what you want out of life, I love my career but it is NOT my life, I want a family and want to be a mum and that will always be the most important thing to me!
    Personally I would say go for it, if your in your 3rd year teaching and settled in your relationship then why not? you know what you want from life!
     
  9. Of course you're not too young - I was expecting a post from a sixth former!
    As others have said it's a very personal decision - I definitely wasn't ready at 25 and had my daughter at 31. However, I think if you are ready then to leave it and risk having problems later is mad.
     
  10. It doesn't matter how old, what your situation is, it is totally your decision. Everyone has a different situation in terms of money, housing, career, relationship, family support etc... and so age doesn't matter because a 22 year old could have the 'ideal' situation just as much as a 40 year old. At 25 I was still partying away, no serious relationship, so that wouldn't have suited me at that time.
    For my personal experience (I am 31, husband is 28) we've only been together for about 3 1/2 years and married for 1 1/2 years. So I knew I wanted 'us' time before kids got in the way [​IMG] Also, again for my own reasons, I wanted to get to the 6th year of teaching and go through the threshold (I am in my 6th year) just to help us financially. I will be 32, he will be 29 when our first baby is born.
    BUT, if I got pregnant 2 years ago, we most probably be just as happy. We've made the choice to wait as it suited us. If I had the situation I have now, 6 years ago, I may have decided to have a baby back then??
    I say, if you want to have children, go for it! x
     
  11. Sorry.. I always do this, write 2 posts at a time as I always remember something AFTER!
    But, not to worry you, but you just don't know how long it will take you to conceive - 1 month? 3 years? If you get lucky and get pregnant straight away, then lucky you and you have a secure relationship already. If unfortunately it takes a while, then the pressure isn't as stressful than if you were mid 30's as you're still young and you have 'time' on your side :)
     
  12. I take your point Becky70 but I would not assume because a person is 25 they will get pregnant quickly. There are people on this forum who are around that age with fertility issues and also on the opposite side there are people older who also get pregnant quickly. As we all know fertility is a lottery. Yes, it can make it more difficult if you are older but a few years is not going to make a difference (e.g., 28 versus 25). And as for doing things when children are older, that depends on what you want to do as you don't always have the energy or opportunity when you are older. But as others have said it is a personal choice and there are always pros and cons on both sides.
    I think this discussion is great as it will help the poster to make up her mind. I don't think there is a 'right' or 'wrong' choice - you just need to be informed.
     
  13. mandala1

    mandala1 Occasional commenter

    If you have babes during your 20s then you have longer when they are grown up to pursue career, travel, all the stuff that me and OH are now enjoying! Having a baby at the age of 40 means that you will be considering retirement as they leave home. All good, but different!
     
  14. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I was 25 when I met my husband, so I wouldn't have wanted to get pregnant. However, if i'd been with him for a few years already it may have been different. I don't think 25 is too young at all.
    As for your career....teaching will still be there when you go back after maternity leave, and the way things are going we probably won't be able to retire until we're about 80, so you'll have plenty of time to climb the career ladder!
    I was 31 when i had my son and i'm 33 now and 29 weeks pregnant with my second child. I'm in my 6th year of teaching, but am now part time.
     
  15. madenglishgirl

    madenglishgirl New commenter

    Go for it!

    I started trying when I was 18 and finally had my daughter when I was 30 [​IMG]
     
  16. This is not what Becky was saying- she was saying that if there are any problems there will be more time to fix them if you start trying early. Personally i was 28 when first was born and all going well- fingers crossed- will be 30 when the next is born. It does change your life unimaginably but we had the couple time and achieved a lot. I am incredibly lucky that things worked out so well for me timing wise but if i had the choice I would never wait until my 30s to start trying- for one thing the quality of your eggs starts going down at 35 (I think- am I right?) If you are both ready for it and you feel you have enjoyed enough time as a couple to be able to share the memories with your chidlren when they are older- go for it!
    no, but 35 versus 25 might!
     
  17. I really don;t think 25 is too young at all- if I had been well I would have started trying about then, I was 27 when I conceived but nothing had really changed in that time.
    You can still have a career and kids, or may decide that career can wait a while. If you feel ready, are financially 'ok', and your partner agrees- go for it. There are disadvantages and advantages to having children at any age... so there is probaably never a 'perfect' time!
     
  18. Definately not too young, no such thing if it's what you want and can support yourselves. I got pregnant with my son at 23 and had him at 24. He is nearly 6 months old now and I can hand on heart say that it is the best thing I have ever done. Yes it can be a bit of a bore sometimes being in every night but that's what babysitters are for! And you appreciate the nights out so much more.
    Career wise I don't think it has been a great move for me but I don't care anymore, I would much rather raise my boy and take some time out to do it. I suggest you save as much cash as possible now.
     
  19. I think age is only relevant 'biologically'. A roomful of 25 year olds will contain some very immature and equally very mature people. If the question is about 'feeling ready' with your partner then only you two know the answer. Talk and talk some more. Make a decision you are both happy with. I suppose part of 'being ready' is having the confidence in your decision to not worry too much about what other people will say either way. i know that is difficult though! Good luck x
     
  20. As others have said, if you want a baby now then 25 isn't too young.

    I'm 26 and had my son 4 months ago. If I was at work then I'd be in my 3rd year of teaching (I plan to go back 0.6 from June). When we found out I was pregnant after out first try at ttc I was a bit worried, like you, that I was too young but I was wrong to be worried! I've been with hubby for 8 years (married for 4) and we've lived all over the country, had many holidays and found time to set up two successful careers. We have just bought our first home and I feel so lucky to be sharing that with my son.

    In our NCT group the girls range from 24- 40 and no one is more or less equipped to deal with motherhood! We are all in the same boat so it just goes to show that age really doesn't come into it. it's about when YOU are ready.
     

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