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Am I old fashioned?

Discussion in 'Primary' started by zannar, May 6, 2011.

  1. I think a lot of us could be called 'old fasioned'
    In years gone by it was a trait known as 'manners' When I look at some of the students and their appalling attitudes, language and ideals I am terrified for our future. Its about time that some parents got off their backsides and took some respsonsibility for their childrens actions and education. Some parents need to look at themselves and ask if this is how they want their chilkdren to be in 10 years time. Hopefully, a lot would say no!!!!!
  2. Hello
    Working in a secondary school and manners are appalling, and they think its funny when they are pulled up for it. Have had real problems with getting instructions for work over to them. Best thing I have found is letting them go one at a time at the end of the lesson and only then when the work is completed. Its a huge task and I'm totally worn out. Oftsed all singing and dancing lessons-you try teaching kids in the normal everyday schools on a day to day bases. No wonder there are large amounts of teaches leaving the profession.
    Manners are essential in the work place and need training at an early age, should always be reinforced at school but learnt at home.
    Keep up the good work all manners teachers.
  3. I completely agree with you .... I expect manners and respect in my classroom too.
  4. Hi there,No way are you old fashioned. It's just basic manners that should be taught at home firstly. If one of the students (senior school) comes to see me without a please or thank you (not ta), they know they get nothing from me. As I'm in charge of supplying a temporary lunch card they have to say it or starve! If they don’t say it then after a few minutes a go into a rant of my 6 year old niece has better manners.

    So keep on swimming against the tide because even if just one child uses them afterwards we’ve all won.

    I've even corrected adults in shops, my partner said one of these days I’ll get a thump of someone. As long as they say “please may I hit you” it’ll be OK!! Lol
  5. You've raised a very crucial point. Some people think that to be modern is to allow pupils behave the way they like. Pupils are pupils everywhere,if you don't lead or guide them through the right way, they will continue in a wrong way.
    In collaboration with my pupils we normally set class essential agreements and consequences at the beginning of each year. So whoever violates them has to be responsible,otherwise those agreements become useless.
    In actual fact I would call you a responsible teacher and not an old fashioned teacher.
    Keep it up!
  6. gilly33

    gilly33 New commenter

    Having read these posts, I see where many of you are coming from. Having worked as a TA and a FE Lecturer I have seen most of the ill mannered behaviour mentioned here, and have met parents not much better.
    However, as a parent myself I have taught my children to be respectful to grown ups and have good manners, only for them to come home from school complaining about rude disrespectful teachers.
    If a child holds the door open for you, say thank you. Teachers are no better than anyone else and should be leading by example. Two of my children have complained about teachers who do not excuse themselves if they need to leave the classroom and those that interupt children talking or their play. No apology or excuse me.
  7. No - she is ME
  8. An example of the same thing:
    Pupils 1: 'I need the toilet!'
    Me: 'Do you?'
    pupil 2: 'Ask if you can go.'
    Pupil 1: 'Can I go to the toilet?'
    Me: 'I would hope so by your age.'
    Pupil 1: 'Eh??'
    Pupil 2: 'May I........'
    Pupil 1: 'MAY I go to the toilet?'
    Me: 'No'
    Pupil 2: 'say please.'
    Me: 'No. You don't have a toilet pass, so you may not.'
    Not only do they not get may and can confused, they don't even bother asking now (unless they have a toilet pass - issued for medical probs).

    BTW manners are not only considered old-fashioned by out pupils but also only something posh people do!!
  9. Not only that, mine must ask if they "may quench their thurst"
    I love that others are teaching good manners too!
    Thanks all!
  10. I must be old fashioned too (yet only 25), as I expect proper manners from everyone in my class.
    I think it's a bit extreme not to let children go to the toilet when they ask "Can I go to the toilet, please?"- at least they've asked a question and said please. These are the 2 things children in my class need to do- no please/no question = "pardon?" Then I repeat the question back to them MODELLING how to do it (not criticizing): "May you go to the toilet? Yes you may."
    In September, I was doing this all of the time- now most of them do it properly without even thinking.
    I have a girl who holds the door open when we come in from playtime who COUNTS the number of people who say thank you. When it's everyone without a reminder, play time and lunchtime, they get to play a game before hometime- we do it nearly every day now!
    Instead of berating them for not saying please/thank you, I praise the ones that do- giving out books, I would say "what lovely manners!" to those that say thank you, and it encourages others to do the same and get praised for it too. Again, almost every single one of my class does this to ALL staff (I've heard them in the dinner line reminding each other!)
    I think it's far more effective to remind children gently by prasing/repeating/modelling as well as by example, as it gives them a model of what is expected and they do it because they want to, rather than because they fear they will get told off if they don't. Surely, in the long run, even if it takes longer to do this, it is better for them?
  11. Indeed you are. This was not, in my opinion, a question of manners but a question of teaching good grammar and communication by example. Its just the same as when I was small - 'Can I go to the toilet?' was often answered with 'Well, I know you can but I don't know if you may'. How else are you to know the difference if no-one tells you?
  12. Sorry 'CDuff' the 'indeed you are' was not in reply to you but to someone much earlier on. Virgin poster - got it wrong! What can I say?
  13. jumad

    jumad New commenter

    Others may believe that we're all dinosaurs for insisting on good manners but I really believe that it's important for children to behave in a polite, thoughtful and considerate way to adults and each other.
    Pet hate: I NEED a new....... They know the demand will fall on deaf ears until they say "Please can I have a new.........."
    Is that so wrong??
  14. not in our school - pupils aged 11-16 should be able to organise themselves so that they use the loo before school, breaktime or lunchtime. As a teacher I may not leave the room except at these times to pay a visit so unless they have a medical pass they may not leave the room. And as for not telling them the difference it has been reiterrated several times prior to this. This was an <u>example</u> of a conversation which took place between 2 pupils (one of which totally got the point) and I.
  15. Keep up the good work. As teachers, we all need to teach good manners and respect for others. No one else is doing it these days.
  16. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Whatwould be interesting to know if the same good manners apply when they get to secondary.I suspet that there the law of the jungle takes over to some extent....although years ago ,when i taught in a comprehensive, i used to fight the same battle for manners and respect from and to children.
    I believe firmly in establishing respect and manners....but i despair when i see the children, years later in secondary, showing little of that which was learnt in primary!
  17. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    I, too, at the ripe old age of 29, insist on good manners from my class and I remind them of "May I...?" when asking for the toilet. I also never give them anything or let them do something unless they have used please and praise those who say thank you afterwards. I don't think it's too much to ask, even from infants.
    On a gramatical line, I am a real stickler for not using words like "ain't" and double negatives, particularly as I find it flows over into their writing. I have an abundance of children who say "I brang a tennis ball into school", and say "There's no such word as 'brang'" and I'm slowly making progress. Unfortunately, though, it'll all be undone over the summer holiday!
  18. I totally agree! Manners are so important and yet they are on the decline.
    I am stunned every time we have an achievement assembly and KS2 get given certificates for achieving tokens (for consistent behaviour) - the HT does not expect or demand thank you's and is 'pleasantly surprised' when she gets thanked - it should be so inbred into the children that they say thank you without even thinking about it!! - however sadly that is not the case.
    It needs to be a whole school approach though - 1 member of staff out of 20 does not stand much chance on their own.

    And I also demand grammatically corect sentences - can i go toilet? - absolutely not!

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