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Am I being irrational?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by gpporgie, Feb 19, 2012.

  1. I live abroad.
    This morning I found out that my brother had got engaged via Facebook. I called my mum at home and spoke to my sister, mum and dad as I had arranged yesterday. (My brother doesn't live near there) They said that they were going to call me anyway when they found out my brother was engaged.
    I am upset that my brother did not make any sort of effort to call me, email me, message me via facebook or skype to let me know he was engaged before he put it on Facebook. I feel left out of his life I guess and P.Oed that he didn't feel that I was important enough to hear before all asunder on Facebook. I am wondering if I am being a little over sensitive, or am I right to be upset? Opinions please (on the situation not my grammar or spelling!)
     
  2. I live abroad.
    This morning I found out that my brother had got engaged via Facebook. I called my mum at home and spoke to my sister, mum and dad as I had arranged yesterday. (My brother doesn't live near there) They said that they were going to call me anyway when they found out my brother was engaged.
    I am upset that my brother did not make any sort of effort to call me, email me, message me via facebook or skype to let me know he was engaged before he put it on Facebook. I feel left out of his life I guess and P.Oed that he didn't feel that I was important enough to hear before all asunder on Facebook. I am wondering if I am being a little over sensitive, or am I right to be upset? Opinions please (on the situation not my grammar or spelling!)
     
  3. Some people use Facebook as their primary method of communication.

    If I were you I'd just congratulate him via the same medium and share in his happiness.
     
  4. Looby_Lou14

    Looby_Lou14 New commenter

    I completely understand how you feel and I, too, would be a little peeved to say the least, however, at risk of sounding like Jeremy Kyle, there are much worse things in the world and getting stressed/ risking falling out or upsetting anyone etc because of a social network site is just a bit silly (I'm not an old preacher about this- I am 24 and I use Facebook too!).
    Have a nag nag at your partner or nearest friend about how your brother should have phoned you first, but then accept it, smile and breathe deeply then phone him to say how happy you are for him...
    After all, he's a bloke and they always get things wrong [​IMG]

    Looby x
    DISCLAIMER: For the male TES population, the opinions stated on this thread are merely thos of the poster for the sake of this post, they do not represent the poster's actual opinions!
     
  5. Tell him off.
    but dont make a big thing about it

     
  6. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    For a moment I had this mental image of someone going down on bended knee in front of his computer to pop the question,

    Yes, it's worrying how some people seem to assume that Facebook trumps real world interaction and comes first above all things. I'm aware of one distressing case of someone posting photos of the overturned car they'd so luckily escaped from on Facebook while one of their passengers was dying in hospital from their injuries. Likewise a teacher who announced their resignation on Facebook before having the courtesy to tell their HoD.

    Tell him off - remind him that family matters and that certain courtesies should still be observed, then forget it.
     
  7. Thanks for the advice.
    I am told him congratulations, that he hurt my feelings, but I am happy for him. End of... As long as he replies acknowledging me in some way.
     
  8. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Lead commenter

    Nasty ...
     
  9. Me or my brother or my word choice?
     
  10. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I think he's being a bit tongue in cheek about your word choice as you probably didn't mean 'asunder'....rather 'and sundry'. Check out 'asunder'.
     
  11. missmunchie

    missmunchie New commenter

    I found out my cousin had a teenage daughter via facebook! Do I win?
     
  12. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    I deplore the use of Facebook to announce personal information to friends and family. A close friend of mine was told by her son (who lives in the USA) to keep checking Facebook for news of the impending birth of his child, her grandchild.
    I won't repeat what she told him and needless to say, he duly rang her when the child was born.
     
  13. My cousin found out his beloved dog who he had grown up with had been put to sleep via Facebook. Apparently my aunt had tried to contact him but had not realised that his phone was broken so he had not received her text before she put the news on Facebook. Needless to say, he was very upset.
     
  14. I totally understand how you feel and think it is reasonable to feel left out. I was living abroad when my sister got engaged and found out when my aunt called to wish me happy birthday and said how odd it was that my sister, mum and I all had similar engagement rings. This was pre-facebook, email and mobile phone days - I am that old - and we used to arrange when we would call because of the time difference. I felt really hurt and upset, and being a long way from home didn't help. Everyone was apologetic afterwards but the damage was done. I realised after that it wasn't done deliberately and none of them guessed that my aunt would get through first (though they might have done because this is a woman who gets Christmas cards out in mid November) so I had to put it behind me because it wasn't worth falling out over. So don't beat yourself up about feeling bad but remember that there are worse things in life and just explain to him that, because you care, you'd have liked to have heard it from him personally.
     

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