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Am I an unfeeling what not?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by yapyap, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. Trying at the moment not to get snarky or frustrated with some of my friends and their love lives. One of them is still avoiding places she might see a boy and questioning his motives when they do talk briefly, a year after a three month relationship. The other is still letting herself be led on by a boy who did this last year - lots of intest shown, then off he pops with a prettier one. They've split up, so now he's back being all attentive to my friend again - but still not doing anything useful like declaring an interest. These are beautiful intelligent worthy women. Why are they so nuts? I just don't get it!
     
  2. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    If they are emotionally hung up on 'boys' then they are not "beautiful intelligent worthy women"
     
  3. I don't get it either. What are these women doing chasing boys? How old are these boys? They sound about 15 - Is this appropriate behaviour from "beautiful intelligent worthy women"?
     
  4. 'boys' is my word - both the women and the men in these stories are mid to late twenties!
     
  5. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    I don't think you chose 'boys' entirely by accident
     
  6. Nor do I - but after previous posts I felt I ought to reassure people that this thread was not going to take a disturbing turn!
    Although, sod the boys, it's the girls I'm worried about really - have they no self respect?!
     
  7. All parties are in their mid to late twenties? They seem to be behaving like teenagers and suddenly I feel very old.
    I'm sorry yap, I can't help here. If I were you I would walk away from these silly girls and their silly boys and find some grown up friends. It isn't up to you to sort out their pathetic love lives.

     
  8. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Evidently not.
     
  9. Ah good - right, it's not just me. That's better then - I thought I was going mad. I seem to have very few people in my life capable of forming adult partnerships and I do get the brunt of it. I shan't be getting rid of them, these girls are like my sisters(although my actual sister is the other extreme and cheerfully moving in with a boy she has known for three weeks - despite the whole wedding debacle last year. Every man she meets is the love of her life!), but I am having difficulty trying to balance being understanding with perhaps helping these ladies realise that this is not the way forward...
     
  10. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

  11. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Ditto. But i do think that eggnchips' comment was valid in it's own right, though, Lurk's further elaboration was insightful.
    A problem shared is a problem tangentially ridiculed
    and so say all of us
     
  12. Just leave them all to it. Very sad way to behave! If they want to act like desperate doormats let them be walked all over.
     
  13. We have the other end of the spectrum at school: women in their late twenties-early thirties declaring that they are desperate for a boyfriend, a husband, a shag, a sperm donor, a co-mortgagee, and then treating every male who looks interested as though he is a freeloading, exploitative adolescent they aren't taking any sh1t from. Then when they've driven them all away, spend every Friday afternoon in the pub sobbing into their wine that all men are bastards and they'll never have a proper relationship,house/children.
     
  14. And in answer to the OP, yes, they think I'm unfeeling and can't understand how anyone could possibly have married me unless I am a complete doormat or too pathetic to leave.
     
  15. I was experimenting with a post modernist homage to Ma known in the West as negative space.
     
  16. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    LOL [​IMG] Well it sounds to me as if the OP's friends are inhabiting a negative space. Who wants to be a fall-back sh@g after all, whether you are male or female?
    There are many players, users and manipulators in the world.
     
  17. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Yep.
    I feel moved to speak up for all the women who are intelligent and capable enough to hold down a job and do their own laundry etc etc but who still get turned into gibbering messes by pathetic men. On account of I'm one of them.
    Combination extreme sneakiness on his part, incidents of extreme silliness on mine and rather bad luck, I ended up pregnant by my one (which made not a jot of difference to his behaviour, of course). I can cope with being a single mother and I can moreorless cope with having him batting around in my life, getting on with things and having a ball whilst I survive on not much sleep or money (although not without some grinding of teeth), but what I struggle to come to terms with is the unappealing prospect of living my entire life as Sad Reject Lady Of The Hills.
    Besides which, admitting to myself that I'm a fall-back, that my emotional vulnerability made me nowt but an easy lay, that even as the sacred vessel of his child I deserved no more than a barrage of lies and manipulation and that there really are people with souls that ugly living among us has been a bundle of laughs, so you'll forgive me the odd blessed minute of self-delusion whilst I was coming to terms with it.
    This is, I feel, God's judgement for being totally smug about other people's love-life problems whilst I was in a relationship and everything looked easy.
    I feel your pain, yapyap, and I'll freely admit that you're lucky to not have known me personally over the last year and a half - I've been a complete pain in the **** - but to be fair, nobody especially wants to be rejected, or racked with pain over some weaselly lose, or looking like a complete idiot. So maybe go a bit easy on them.
     
  18. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Disclaimers:
    I meant *loser in the last paragraph.
    and
    Yoghurt Lite is not bad luck in the slightest, he is ace ofcourse ofcourse. But being a single mother is still probably not on anyone's list of Top Ambitions.
     
  19. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I've said this to you before, and I'll say it again, I have
     

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