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Am I allowed to be annoyed.......??

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ros85, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Before I start, bit of a sensitive soul here posting, so please no mean replies! I understand that by putting out there on this forum, I am asking for honest opinions, but anyways...
    It was my little boy's first birthday party this afternoon. I deliberately kept it small, only really close friends and their children. A close friend of mine (bridesmaid at my wedding, I am godmother to her daughter) didn't come because her four year old little girl didn't want to, and wanted to see her grandad instead (who she sees on a regular basis).
    I really wanted them to both be there, so am a little bit upset. But should I be annoyed? To be fair, said friend really shouldn't have to force her LO to attend, and four year olds can be stubborn! On the hand other, would it have been unreasonable to expect my friend to try and get her to come for half an hour or so? Or to ask her dad to watch LO whilst she popped her head in? I really don't understand as the little girl has grown up knowing me, but then again, I don't have a four year old, so don't know how they work!!!

     
  2. Before I start, bit of a sensitive soul here posting, so please no mean replies! I understand that by putting out there on this forum, I am asking for honest opinions, but anyways...
    It was my little boy's first birthday party this afternoon. I deliberately kept it small, only really close friends and their children. A close friend of mine (bridesmaid at my wedding, I am godmother to her daughter) didn't come because her four year old little girl didn't want to, and wanted to see her grandad instead (who she sees on a regular basis).
    I really wanted them to both be there, so am a little bit upset. But should I be annoyed? To be fair, said friend really shouldn't have to force her LO to attend, and four year olds can be stubborn! On the hand other, would it have been unreasonable to expect my friend to try and get her to come for half an hour or so? Or to ask her dad to watch LO whilst she popped her head in? I really don't understand as the little girl has grown up knowing me, but then again, I don't have a four year old, so don't know how they work!!!

     
  3. I don't see why friend even gave the child a choice, especially when she sees Granddad regularly (rather than being several hours away as mine were)
    Note, I don't have any children.
     
  4. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Why is a four year old child allowed to veto where parents are taken them? Do they have a say in other matters too? Good grieff,being a modern parent must be such hard work!
     
  5. I agree (and I do have children). Unless your party clashed with a very good reason to see Grandad then I think your friend is being given the runaround by her daughter.
    Mark my words, she's creating a rod for her own back[​IMG].
    Sorry it's making you feel sad though. Is there any way you could have a chat with your friend to explain how you feel and clear the air?
     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    As it was your son's birthday party have you asked him if he's upset?
    Life's too short to let this sort of thing bother you.
     
  7. I don't see why the girl got her own way.
    That is just spoiling and making for a brat!
    I would suggest you speak to your friend - there is little point accusing her of having a Prima Donna of a daughter as she will go into the self defence mode but you have every right to say how disappointed you were.

     
  8. He is one!
     
  9. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    ps I'd like to think my grandson would choose to see me over a lot of other people - I'd hope they wouldn't be upset by that.
     
  10. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I know. I suspect he isn't upset in the slightest.
     
  11. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    I'm utterly flabbergasted that a 4 year old is allowed to dictate to her mother.

    OTOH I can't really see the big deal about a baby's first birthday party either: it's not as if he's old enough to know what's going on.

    If your friend has upset you I think it would be a good idea to discuss it rather than let resentment fester.
     
  12. Do they usually see Grandad at the time the party was?
     
  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I agree.
    And I was never keen on going to them either.
     
  14. Reminds me of the Friends episode where Rachel and Ross made such a fuss about Emma's first birthday.
    It [sometimes] means a lot to parents.
    Nothing to the child.
    Me, I'd not have had the party, or had such expectations.
    If I'd been the sort of person who did feel that way, I'd have made sure the invited guests knew how important it was to me in advance. And if they knew I cared so much, and still didn't come, then I'm sure I'd have been annoyed if they didn't turn up.
     
  15. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I think that the shocking thing is not the friend not attending the party but not attending because her child did not want to. When I was that age,I would not have been aware of plans until we were getting into the car. Parents went somewhere,you followed unless it was more convinent for them to leave you behing. What you wanted or wished did not even record of the Richter scale of parenting. Life was much easier for our parents and dare I say ,our teachers.
     
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    behind.
     
  17. anon468

    anon468 New commenter

    ros, you seem like a really nice lady, so please don't be upset by this, but...
    Perhaps your friend was using her child's 'objection' as an excuse not to attend? There could be 101 reasons why she didn't/couldn't attend, but I certainly wouldn't twist myself inside out wondering why. Folk can be odd at the best of times.
    Forget it and move on.
     
  18. I agree with that.
    But I also don't really understand why anyone throws a one-year-old a birthday party ... a very personal point of view, obviously.
     
  19. I don't see anything wrong with it. She did say it was only a small one.

     
  20. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    That certainly crossed my mind.
    I can't remember what excuses I used but I've never attended a child's first birthday party despite being invited to several.

     

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