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Am I a good enough teacher for my class?

Discussion in 'Early Years' started by ateacher2018, Jan 30, 2019.

  1. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    I'm an NQT who since September has been teaching in a Reception class. I had observations and passed them with no signs of failure and was just left to get on with things.
    An incident happened with my TA and has made me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. She was constantly questioning everything I was doing and since then she was moved away from me for that reason. SLT has since then been watching me by asking for planning in and doing random lesson observations and book looks.
    I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job for the children. They all seem happy in the environment but I'm not..My confidence levels are 0 and I feel like I've failed everyone.
    I'm worried about my delivery of phonics with the children and their writing progression. I was going of what I thought was right from university experience and research.
    I'm currently off on the sick but I'm worried to death about going back because I don't believe I can get these children where they need to be. I'm worried about my past mistakes and how to move forward. When I ask for help I feel like it's more of criticism feedback not constructive feedback. Can anyone recommend how to get myself feeling better and get my children where they need to be?
     
  2. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    Speak to your mentor and tell them how you are feeling.
    If no one has told you there is a problem, then there probably isn't.
     
  3. pwtin

    pwtin Senior commenter

    Sorry to here this.
    Is the TA a lot older than you, has she been at the school a long time? I work on supply and have lost count of the times I have come across difficult TA's in the course of my work. Despite the fact you are there to teach and are replacing the teacher there can be resentment, in terms of possibly you doing things differently, they want to be in control, or sometimes because you fit in with the children too much and they actually respond to you really well, I have seen it all. Could it be any of this? Of course this does not apply to all TA's as occasionally I do come across ones who are welcoming and want to work well with you as a team and have a good day. I am sure you are doing a good job and the children enjoy being in your class, do not let one person undermine your confidence so much and yes speak to your mentor about how you feel.
     
  4. grumbleweed

    grumbleweed Lead commenter

    First things first, are you back at work and feeling better?
    Now, what makes you think your children are behind? When do you do your assessments and what are they telling you? As an NQT have you had opportunity to visit other schools which might reassure you. What about a year partner or is it just you?
    I am sure your mentor or SLT would have told you if there were concerns.

    I know it's easy to sat ut don't be so hard on yourself. You are new to this. Of course you will make mistakes, we all do, even the old hands. What matters is how you develop on from those mistakes. This is what your mentor should be supporting you with.
    Try and think about things you are doing well. Do you have a good relationship with children, parents and colleagues? More than half the battle if you ask me. Then try to focus on things you need to develop and things you'd like to bet better at. The world looks different if you can break it down a bit.
    Good luck with it all, I hope you're only back at school if you are feeling better.
     
    ateacher2018 and nizebaby like this.
  5. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    Hello, I am back and have been for the last 2 weeks but the situation has taken a horrible turn. The TA has been moved away from me and is no longer an issue in the situation.

    However, the head teacher has returned from being off and has raised a number of concerns. Stating there are major issues in something different everyday. The HT even wants to refer me to occupational health. I'm very upset as my mentor hasn't raised any concerns since I have been there since September. I feel so unsupported and I know i can't continue like this. I'm an NQT and I don't know everything but it's all too much. I have decided to hand my notice in this week. I feel picked on and but know the situation won't get better at this school
     
  6. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    Ihanded in my notice today and it has been negotiated that this Friday is my last day working there.
    I will be out of work but plan on doing supply. I feel like a weight has been lifted and need to get back to my old self. Any recommendations on how to getback to being happy and enjoy teaching?
     
  7. grumbleweed

    grumbleweed Lead commenter

    Hi there. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, especially as you are an NQT. But many know that feeling of the weight being lifted when you've been ploughing through treacle for some time.
    If you can, take a little break to take stock. Then when you feel better, start looking for work, you're in a good position to pick up a temporary post for the summer term. Look at supply options, they put food on the table, but you can walk away at the end of the day. It also gives you chance to see the kind of school you woukd like to work in. Build it up if you can, maybe taking some odd days to start with.
    Good luck, let us know how things are going for you.
     
  8. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    Thank you for you advice! I'm looking forward to having a break and taking care of myself. A break is definitely what I'll be taking and when I'm ready exploring my options with supply and seeing what else is out there x
     
  9. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    Hello it's me again,

    I've been enjoying my time off and feel a lot better mentally and physically since I left the school mentioned in the OP.
    I start supply work next week and I'm looking forward to it as it's a fresh start and I enjoyed supply last time I did it in summer term 2018. I do feel slightly anxious though as the negative experience is now flaring back up as I come closer to starting work again.

    I feel abit concerned that the head of the school I left refered me to occupational health and the support plan issue. Will this affect me going forward in anyway?

    My mentor in school was non existent and didn't mention anything to me about any concerns. My external mentor decided to put my on a support plan because she felt the school weren't supporting me and it will guide them with what they should be doing with me. When she went to the head with this the head jumped in stating they wanted to put me on one because she's concerned.

    I know I shouldn't keep reliving it but it's hard not to.. I just want the rest of my NQT year to go well but I'm worried sick about being observed by my external mentor. She told me if I'd stayed in the named school she would of pressed the cause of concern button over my NQT year. I honestly don't think I've been given a fair shot and I honestly feel very upset. Will I even pass my NQT year?
     
  10. MogForgot

    MogForgot New commenter

     
  11. MogForgot

    MogForgot New commenter

    Hi there, I didn't want to read and run but have no particular experience that would help in this area. However, I wonder if you are in a union? It seems to me that you might need someone to help represent you. Wishing the very best of luck for the future.
     
    ateacher2018 likes this.
  12. mindthegap

    mindthegap New commenter

    I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to quote your last post! I wrote a reply but it disappeared. I just wanted to say that I didn't want to read and run but have no specific advice other than to ask if you're in a union , as it sounds like you need someone to advocate on your behalf. Good luck for the future.
     
    ateacher2018 likes this.
  13. mindthegap

    mindthegap New commenter

    BTW, The last two posts are both by the same person. Old log in and new log in fail. I'm leaving now.....!
     
  14. ateacher2018

    ateacher2018 New commenter

    I've kept my union informed of everything from the beginning, thank fully!

    I've also had a meeting with my external mentor since my last post who reassured me of things. I wont be observed on supply until I find a school I'm comfortable in. She wont hold anything against me and will observe me not considering the past events.

    I feel a lot more at ease now having done more supply work. Thank you for your reply. When I panic I start to ramble on and post on here for some reassurance. It's hard to talk to someone about it who isn't involved in teaching like my family and partner but nice knowing there's a place to come to.
     
  15. fitzron

    fitzron New commenter

    I have known a lot of occasions where the class TA has been less than supportive of the class teacher and this can have a negative effect on the class teacher however long they have been in post .
    I wish you well in your career and hope you find a more supportive school with better communication skills !
     
    ateacher2018 likes this.
  16. nuander

    nuander New commenter

    Firstly, as an NQT you are entitled to a comprehensive package of support. If you are not getting it the LA should be notified and the school should be forced to act. They signed a contract with the LA to support you.
    Secondly, when you start a new ft post make sure you get a clear idea of what support you will get.
    Thirdly, concerns about performance should be made as early as possible- support should then be offered.
    Finally an OH referral is standard practice nothing to worry about. A school needs to do this as a first port of call. Don’t give up you are probably an amazing teacher you just need the right start ;)
     
    ateacher2018 likes this.
  17. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    This happens to many NQTs, and lots go on to do absolutely fine.

    Good luck!
     
    ateacher2018 likes this.

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