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Always tell your family what your burial wishes are, or...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Morninglover, Nov 6, 2015.

  1. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

  2. VanEyssen

    VanEyssen Established commenter

    I have requested immolation by fire arrows aboard a Viking longship.
  3. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Imo funerals are there to help the living through the bereavement; all the deceased needs is for the body to be disposed of. So if the deceased's wishes will not help the living, they can be disregarded. However for many people, what helps them through is doing what they believe the deceased wanted, so they will go to any lengths to ensure that happens. This case sounds like the son is doing what will help him the most, and the daughter is doing what she thinks her mother would have wanted the most...I wonder which of them will give in?
  4. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    What a tragedy for all concerned.
    Duke of York and FolkFan like this.
  5. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    WOW!! JUST WOW!!!!!!
  6. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    They can do what they like with me although i will ask for cremation. i just want my molecules to be mixed back into the earth and air and that's all the immortality I need.
    bombaysapphire, ScotSEN and kibosh like this.
  7. kittylion

    kittylion Senior commenter

    Cremation for me too - and any ceremony to be very brief.
  8. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Mr K and myself were discussing this topic on the back of yet another funeral (that he attended) which was expensive and probably not what the deceased wanted i.e. loved ones getting into debt to pay for it. I would always want the cheapest possible option, but unfortunately it is illegal to build a bonfire in the garden in order to dispose of dead relatives. The whole industry is in collusion to keep prices artificially inflated. No BOGOF offers. No loss leaders.
    ScotSEN likes this.
  9. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I'll be happy enough if they leave me out for the bin men. The only instructions I'll leave is "Make sure it ain't the recycling truck that picks me up." I wouldn't want to find myself having to go through it all again.
  10. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    Ahh, like Tal Stoneheart (aka Endel Opik)
  11. VanEyssen

    VanEyssen Established commenter

    BOGOF? Suttee will never catch on here.
    ScotSEN likes this.
  12. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Drop me off a boat in a weighted canvas bag after being dissected by medical students.
  13. spartacus123

    spartacus123 Occasional commenter

    Boring fact. Public burning of a body (like in Nepal) was not illegal until someone in the UK did it. Then it became illegal.

    I've seen public pyres. Then the ashes go into a river. We have a strange attitude to death here. But the Tibetan sky burial would be banned, I suspect.
  14. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    As long as my other half doesn't write in to his 'I wish the practice of Sati to be observed'

    However, I'd hope to get off on a technicality.
    ScotSEN and kibosh like this.
  15. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    :)Intended pun? Apparently it's now an obsolete custom in India. It wasn't what I had in mind when I mentioned BOGOF offers, though. Suicide pacts . . . obvious failing health in more than one family member, traffic accidents . . . .I agree with sparticus123, we do have a very strange attitude to death in this country and seeing as it's one of the 3 'non-negotiables' . . .you'd think we (society) might do something about that
  16. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    I think the problem in and around the Ganges (don't know about other places) with that, was the 'ashes'. . . . incineration was poorly carried out and incomplete: body parts etc. found floating downstream
  17. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    You can get a biodegradeable coffin for about £160 and have a woodland burial - they're pretty cheap.

    Failing that you can have a 'direct disposal' funeral where the undertakers will get the body buried or cremated. You don’t go to visit the person who has died in the funeral home. You do not choose the day and time of the cremation/burial. There is no hearse, no procession, no service in the crematorium or at the graveside -- nothing. The body goes straight off to be cremated or buried without ceremony and without anyone else there.

    Direct cremation and direct burial do not stop you from having a farewell ceremony – a funeral – if you wish, after the event. If you choose direct cremation you can hold a memorial event of your own devising with, if you wish, the ashes present. Alternatively, you can have the ashes scattered at the crematorium. Whichever you choose, you can have a memorial service.

    Once the body has been cremated, the ashes are
    Durable (they’ll keep forever), portable (around 6 lbs) and divisible (you can share them out, you don’t have to scatter them all at once)

    You can carry them to any venue you choose, whenever you choose, and hold a commemorative event of your own devising — in a church, a village hall, a restaurant; on a mountain top; at the seaside. The ceremony may conclude with a scattering of ashes – as the sun sets or rises, perhaps. But not necessarily. They can be divided up amongst certain people and kept.

    And all for around £1,000. It works for me.
    ilovesooty and kibosh like this.
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Monica, where did you find this information? if there are a few links that one might follow, can you post them, please? How cheap is the woodland burial? I daren't ask a friend who buried his wife not so long ago in a wicker basket, in a woodland (eco burial?) with a humanist ceremony.
  19. Ladykaza

    Ladykaza Senior commenter

    I agree heartily. Have said to take any bits of use to anyone then chuck me on the tip. I don't care, I'll be dead!
  20. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    Cremation here too. Saw a thing today which suggested mixing ashes with tree seed which I liked, I also want them to dispose of me as cheaply as poss but they aren't brave enough to do a van and cardboard coffin.

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