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Alone At Xmas

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Dec 23, 2010.

  1. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    of course your desirable.....you just havent found the right man yet........meanwhile ill try and keep you happy..........mind you i could go for you if you posed in your red basque lol.as long as we are... 'cough'... discret......dont think folk on here might notice though!
  2. Although I have had a similar experience with cars of the same colour...
    Mate offered to drive me to work as he was going in that direction.
    I came out of my flat, half asleep, in the dark, got into a waiting car and said "Ta mate, just don't speak, not quite awake yet"
    Then wondered why the car didn't move.
    Cue some old bloke grinning at me who then said "Your place or mine? I have always wanted to say that".

  3. enigma23

    enigma23 New commenter

    Very funny CQ - I bet the old man thought his numbers had come up!
  4. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    why not there are lots of folk who need a 'home'...........we used to do it for the young people of the church and its amazing those who drifted in and out during a week..even if only for a coffee and then onward!
  5. yeah, the problem is - I am not at home much!
    I do still do soup kitchen duty 4 times a year. It could (should) be more, but I have less time nowadays.

  6. bnm


    Bethannie, your post was lovely.
    I am not on my own, but have been at times.
    I truly hope you receive what you want, and what I have been blessed enough to receive. But don't underestimate the position God has put you in and how inspirational on TES you can be. It might be cold comfort to you, but could be real comfort to others.

  7. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    especailly if she wears her red basque for me lol[​IMG]
  8. You aren't alone, you have a family.
    And yes, you should be grateful for them.

  9. I agree on the whole, but there is love and then there is....well...being loved by someone special.
    I imagine most of us know that aching longing that can consume us when we feel a bit choked up by our single status. Everyone else in the world seems to have their very own special one - and we don't. It hurts. I think that feeling hits home most at Christmas time, even if we are sharing it with family, because the season is about love after all.
    To those feeling alone - even though they are not - I wish you a lovely, peaceful Christmas and renewed hope that that the situation will be different this time next year. (If that's what you want. I do have some women friends who wouldn't change their 'alone' status for the world! [​IMG])
    In the meantime, enjoy what you do have if you can.
  10. i know exactly how your feeling, think i thought it was just me, really hate this time of year and know i should be happy as ive got lots of family around me that love me but cant help feeling alone, met someone in the summer who was amazing and really thought it was my year, but yet again im on my own, fed up of been fed up!!!
    know i need to stop feeling sorry for myself, doesnt help thst my sister is having a baby early january so everyone is talking about that, sorry little rant there! guess i just feel on my own with all my friends and family been with someone,
    anyway have a lovely christmas and sorry for the rambling xx
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    stop letting folk wind you up....we all understand the lonliness that happens to us all..even in a family.
    Its not a shame to feel lonely........its shame that you have to feel guilty about it.!
  12. Wonderful words on topic from a Leonard Cohen song:

    "I wanted so much to have nothing to touch,
    I've always been greedy that way"
  13. Someone said to me that being alone at christmas meant being miserable for two weeks of the year. For many of those in relationships they are miserable for the other 50 weeks!
    I guess what was meant was it is better to be alone at any time of the year than with the wrong person.
    Three years ago I spent christmas with my sister when she spent a fortune presenting the perfect christmas, only to be off sick in the new year with depression from over spending. Two years ago I was a participant at my other sister's christmas which was nice but not MY christmas and so last year I spent Christmas day at home by myself (after visiting the relatives) where friends visted me but ultimatley I was on my own for much of the day and I had the christmas day I wanted. It was perfect.
    This year things are different; I have met someone lovely and we're sharing the day but if I was still single I would be having MY christmas day again and only pleasing myself.
    The point I'm tryiNG to make is being alone/single doesn't mean christmas has to be miserable and the way to avoid this is to make christmas day the christmas day you want it to be.
    To the OP and anyone else alone I do wish you a lovely christmas and please try to have the day you want.
    JRT xxxx

  14. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    Well said JRT.
  15. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    I don't think many people have said that Christmas will be miserable. Merely that it will not be everything they hope for.
    Whlie I appreciate that being alone is better than being with the wrong person, that's scant comfort. Folk here are not ungrateful for the love of their families, but just hopeful of something more. Is that so wrong?
    I too will be alone among loved ones. I wouldn't change the presence of my family for anything, but that's not to say that I don't wish for more.
    Perhaps those who think that being alone at Christmas should be just as enjoyable and underappreciating the presence of the one they love?
  16. I do love my family but they have been here a week as it is and I know Christmas Day will last forever with a lukewarm greasy chicken and moudly cranberry sauce (if we're lucky.)
    To be honest the day I want it to be is a normal one which obviously can't happen ...
    I don't even think it's just Christmas though. As the year ends we become acutely aware of what we haven't achieved or done which we may have wanted to.
  17. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    It's that time of year when you make a mental list of your acheivements and find yourself wanting. :)

  18. Single myself, and forever will be. It's not very nice, but the alternative is to do what others do, and settle for second best, or remain oblivious to what will end in death or divorce.
    That said, I've seen so many people in the local farm shop or shopping centre, who are paralysed or mentally handicapped. Their suffering made me realise that while being on my own sucks, there are so many worse off. As a result, I will be thanking God for the family I do have left, whom I intend to spoil rotten.
    Take care xx
  19. I normally love Christmas, this year feels completely flat. I was supposed to be away with bf this year, but we split 2 months ago - I thought I was over it all but it would seem not. He is where we should have been now. Next week we have the task of packing up our lovely house.

    I am spending today with my mum, we'll have a nice day, but it feels weird.
  20. Thread struck chord here, too. Spending Christmas alone rather than in a room full of partnerships. This was meant to be the year I finally spent Christmas with my love, only to find he's "changed his mind" and we are never to be together at all.
    Big Christmas wishes to everyone, and especially the other singletons x

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