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Alone At Xmas

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lilachardy, Dec 23, 2010.

  1. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter


    I'm spending Christmas alone in a room full of people too.
    It sucks.

    Reminds me of all the things I want and haven't got... and they aren't things you can buy.
    Chin up. This will pass.
  2. Hi Enigma,
    Your post has really struck a chord with me! I know the exact feeling you describe, having experienced it too. It's the old cliche about being surrounded by people, but feeling incredibly alone. It sounds like you have a positive attitude about a busy year, and i am sure you will have a lovely christmas with your family. I too am amongst my family, but regularly reminded of my 'lone status'. Our years sound remarkably similar too - I am hoping the xmas and new year process will be cathartic and help me to clear out lingering negative feelings after a bad relationship! I think the trick is to make the most of the family time - there are a huge number of people who would give anything for christmas with their family (I always joke that they could have mine - we have dysfunctional down to a fine art). Keep smiling - and look forward to the year ahead which also sounds positive!
    Have a very merry Christmas!
    B x
  3. enigma23

    enigma23 New commenter

    Wishing for things that you cant buy - I couldnt have put it better myself Lila.

    Have a good Xmas x
  4. enigma23

    enigma23 New commenter

    Yes Becki I agree - a room full of people but on my own.
    Im hopeful that the new year will provide closure (I hate using that word but currently watching The Simpsons and cant think of another, so apologies for the Americanisms) on a few issues from 2010 and I can walk in my house backwards throwing salt over my shoulder (or whatever the saying is!) and start 2011 with renewed energy to get where I want to be.

    Merry Xmas B x
  5. All americanisms forgiven - I too am watching the Simpsons with one eye (and trying to explain it to my Dad)!! Put a piece of coal in your pocket as you enter the house - and leave a silver coin on the step - both local traditions here!! I think i will give it a go this year!!!
  6. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    Surely it is better to be alone than with someone that you dislike?
    I chose to be alone rather than be with someone I could no longer stand, I felt it was preferable.
  7. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    I know what you mean!
    I am getting ready to go to Mum's tomorrow for Christmas. I'll have a pleasant time, and the <u>best</u> food....but it's not what I want deep in my heart.
    You'd have thought I was used to being alone. But there's a part of me that doesn't want to get used to it...I want it to change! I want to find someone to love and to love them in return.
    I know that I am <u>so </u>blessed. This year I finally got my own place to live. It's only small and it is social housing....but it is warm and comfortable and God and government funding willing, it is mine! I don't work, and it is increasingly unlikely that I ever will again, but I have at least got my benefits sorted and I am able to cope. (It's only a couple of years since I was trapped in circumstances I don't really like to remember and couldn't see any way out).
    And yet I feel a slight discontent - and hate myself for it! Why can't I accept the inevitable? I'm a bright woman. I am well aware that the only way I will ever find a partner is for them to come knocking at my door....beings as I rarely leave the house and don't even have a landline...and that's not really likely to happen. ...and even if there are available partners - are they really looking for a seriously neurotic 50-next-year-old - even one as amazingly wonderful as me?
    So, I shall make the most of my few days with Mum, and I'll e-mail the family....on Christmas Day, with Mum sitting next to me ready to grab the phone if I fail, I may even try and speak to one or two of them on the dreaded telephone.
    My faith is important to me. I will put aside thoughts that Christmas is for children or for families or for lovers....and remember that it is above all a time for Love...and I am indeed loved, by my family here, and by my Father above.
    Be blessed Enigma, and may you and all on their own, find your own happiness.
  8. I agree. Or worse find yourself in the situation I was in a few years ago. With someone, naively believing everything was wonderful/no problems etc etc then find yourself dumped in the first week of January! Really tainted my memories of that particular christmas
  9. I am spending Christmas with my children, of course.
    And we shall have fun.
    But my mother will not be there and it will hurt like hell. I have had a knot in my stomach all week.
    I still feel blessed - as I will be surrounded by those I love and whom I love.
    And my Mum and my Grandad will be with us, in spirit, and I shall drink a toast to them and we will have a good day, in the end.
    A Merry Christmas to all - may it be the best it can be and may you feel loved and needed, even by those who cannot be with you xxx
  10. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    Is it something about this time of year that suddenly makes us all lonely?
    I agree its possible to be lonely in a crowd,or even witha family.....but my heart so goes out to all such folk.
    i so wish i had a large house and the cash to which i could invite folks to come and share some part of the holiday season. I alway wanted to be able to operat an open house, and di when first married.and many an 'angel' we entertained unawres!
    My heart goes out to you lonely folks..single or not(and yes i have been there and sometimes go there) ........now i fancy a get together..as long as you all share in the cooking lol
    Bethannie i so hope one day your dreams come true!...meanwhile can i just lust after you?lol

  11. enigma23

    enigma23 New commenter

    Merry Christmas CelticQueen - I often follow your posts with amusement and the blunt yet refreshing take that you have on issues. Merry Christmas!

    Becki, I will have to try that with the coal in the pocket thing - although not while anyone is watching otherwise i have a feeling the men in white coats may come calling!

    Bethannie - you have yourself a lovely Xmas x
  12. ah yes - that is me [​IMG]
    Have yourself a lovely Christmas (under the circumstances) and I wish you that 2011 will be the start of better things to come for you xxx
  13. och, olds - back in the days where I was not a mother, my home was often akin to a soup kitchen.
    I should try it again.
  14. And on the subject of angels -
    I bought both my kids a last minute stocking filler today - a bookmark with an angel and the words "All of us have our angel"
    Soppy probably - but heck, I can be as soppy as the next gal.
  15. Ach, it's ok! I think they are beginning to follow me anyway - looking for my next blonde moment or misdemeanor (sp??). Last week they watched me get into the wrong car after paying for my petrol, only to leap out a few seconds later when the two children in the back of the car screamed! And I wonder why I'm still alone!!
    If the men in white coats are watching you, just be glad they are giving me a break!!!! [​IMG]
  16. marshypops

    marshypops New commenter

    That made me laugh, Becki.
  17. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    always Oldie! Don't ever stop! You make me feel almost desirable, and have me in stitches laughing at the same time...a truly winning combination!
  18. LOL - that really did make me laugh [​IMG]
  19. It seems to have that effect on alot of people - apart from the woman who thought i was stealing her car and her children! Wouldn't have been so bad if the cars had been the same colour! [​IMG]
  20. ROFLMAO.


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