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Alone and depressed overseas

Discussion in 'Teaching abroad' started by doctorinthetardis, Apr 5, 2012.

  1. doctorinthetardis

    doctorinthetardis New commenter

    Hi everyone,
    I live overseas and am already contracted to work at my school for another year after this one. I just broke up with my partner and I feel so depressed. He works at my school so I have to see him every day which is so hard. I have lost any motivation to do anything outside of work and I live by myself in a big empty house. Where I live, there isnt much to do at all in the city, so it's not like I have much opportunity to get out and about. I feel so depressed and I don't know what to do. I don't really have that many friends here and I don't know what to do or what I can do to improve my situation. It's hard just getting up in the morning to go to work and whilst I can switch into teacher mode at school, then I just come home and cry all night. I can't sleep properly, waking up every hour or so in a ridiuclously light sleep so I'm exhausted every day. There are still many weeks of this term left and I don't know how I'm going to get there. Any advice?
  2. Sent you a PM too!
  3. Hi doctorinthetardis
    I assume you are female, not that this makes any difference except that in some places in the work this could be a big issue.
    I personally wouldnt take much notice of those who tell you to pull yourself together, get a hobby or keep busy.
    I am so sorry to hear the you and your partner have just parted as clearly this is not what you wanted. I would continue to talk to people here if it makes you feel better but you could talk to a doctor if you feel that in the short term there may be some relief from your symptoms.
    I do not think you should be worrying about how long you have to run on your contract and you certainly should not be worrying about it now. Take each day as it comes and if there issomeone at the school that you can talk to in guaranteed confidence than I would tend to do so.
    The school may also have a view of the situation.
    It would be hard enough with a support network in your home country. Talk to some people back home perhaps, family and/or friends. Look for avenues of support and help.
    In the end you may not be able to stay there for the whole of the contract but this is not a decision for now. This is probably going to be the toughest test of your life and I wish you well.
    Look after yourself and keep safe.
  4. Get yourself on Skype: to your mum, siblings, old school friends. get on facebook chat: anything to keep yourself contacted with people. Keep talking to people who care about you. talk about all sorts of things. Watch films and listen to music that you love. And then get on skype and have a laugh with an old friend or a family member. Good luck xx
  5. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    So sorry to hear about your break up. It must be very difficult for you to have to work in the same environment as your ex. I also think you have to move your focus (for your own survival). Get involved in something, if not in situ the online. Also find an impartial person (counsellor, pyschologist) to vent to. I have found that although friends want to listen, it gets a bit old after a while and if you are paying someone for their time you can just moan away and hopefully pick up some new insights and ways in which to go forward. Can you have a pet as they are incredibly therapeutic but of course a huge commitment.
    I think you should post as much as you want. It is a good venting opportunity and very cathartic. Take care and try some St John's Wart, Bach Rescue Sleep, a hypnotherapy CD or relaxation CD to give your subconcious something to focus on when you are trying to fall asleep.
    Chin up, you will get through even though you don't feel like you will now.
  6. The first thing that you should do is tell your school that you're not going to renew your contract after all. They still have plenty of time to replace you. (If they try to impose sanctions, get a doctor's certificate attesting to your state of mind.)
    It's unbelievable how much better you feel when you know that you only have a short time to get through. Once you know that you're 'getting out' it's like a load is lifted and your spirits rise. Right now you're facing a double whammy of not just dealing with your breakup, but doing it in a difficult and isolating place where you see your ex on a daily basis. Leaving will get rid of one set of conditions. It can be the fact of not having an end in sight that makes it worse or unbearable.
    Then (presumably) once back you will have the comfort of a support network of friends and family and familiar places and activities to help you get through your grieving process.
    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
  7. littlemissraw

    littlemissraw Occasional commenter

    They say 'the best revenge is a life well lived' although I can understand just how hard that may seem at the moment.
    I moved out to Aus a few months ago and the friend thing is hard, I actually met one of mine at an interview where they'd kept us waiting! If there are some classes etc you could go to (art, cooking etc) it could be a great way to meet people.
    I can't imagine how hard a break up must be without your usual support network, Skype is great but maybe you could do with a trip back home (if its at all possible?)
    Just wanted to send you a big hug!! xx
  8. Dear doctor
    I empathise with your situation.
    I would suggest escapism. The means I have found successful include books, music, films, alcohol, drugs, research, cookery, charity, sex, religion, writing, exercise, internet, politics.
    Not necessarily in that order ;)
  9. [​IMG]
  10. That's a bit harsh on exercise...
  11. You brute.


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