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age differences in relationships

Discussion in 'Personal' started by nizebaby, Jul 22, 2019.

  1. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    An old friend of ours, who's 66, is engaged to a woman who's 29. Can you imagine that situation in reverse?
  2. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    I can. Youtube is your friend.
    agathamorse and Idiomas11 like this.
  3. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    well, it works out this way round socially, as they can still have children, so historically, its not unusual.

    The other way around, very unusual, as not a fertile marriage.

    But even so, very strange. 2 people in a marriage should be equal, and yet a person in their 20s should defer to and respect the greater experience and acquired knowledge of a person in their 60s, so something has to give, in such a relationship.
    agathamorse likes this.
  4. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    Madonna could.
  5. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Do I see implicit ageism here?!
    Just because a woman is 92, that does not obviate the right to "live a little"
  6. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    For shame!

    66 isn't old!


    agathamorse likes this.
  7. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    My Dad did the same. At 68 he married again. She was 25 years younger, had never married and working as a nanny. He died age 96 after 28 years of sitting in his chair whilst she waited on him hand and foot. She has just returned from 2 months in Australia followed by a cruise home to England. Small compensation I think.
    agathamorse and FrankWolley like this.
  8. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I'm 62, but if I were to find myself single I can't really imagine getting together with a partner so much younger (or, if I'm honest, more than a few years older). 66 and 29 will become 77 & 40...or 86 & 49! :eek:
  9. peter12171

    peter12171 Star commenter

    So long as there are enough things in common between a couple, age should not be relevant. Having said that, I wonder at the really big age gaps, such as that mentioned in the original post. My wife and I have an age gap of 16 years. Some would find that too much, but it never really crosses our minds.
    agathamorse likes this.

    SEBREGIS Lead commenter

    There are problems either way, but folks who say ‘it’s wrong’ sound a lot like people who said that same sex marriages wouldn’t work. I can see an age difference providing a different kind of relationship. If we are switching to ‘serial monogamy’ why not have an age difference in one of them?
    agathamorse likes this.
  11. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    The original example certainly is a big age gap, but as long as people go into it with open eyes then why not. They each know what they are getting from the relationship. I hope it lasts and makes them both happy. In my close family there are two 7year gaps and a 15year gap. They seem to work.
  12. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    A 19 yr old cousin married a 37 yr old. She looked like his mum. It lasted until he was in his 50s, then he ran off with someone his own age.
    The marriage lasted far longer than the pearl clutching aunts at the wedding predicted!
  13. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    I have a friend in her 60s who exclusively dates men between 25 and 35. She’s very happy, and not short of dates!
  14. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    MrREMfan is 9+ years younger than me..... no effects in many ways but.... I could retire ...could have retired 8 years ago....but in a degree what would be the point as he still has to work.....So if I did win that Motorhome...it wouldn't be much use as him getting time off is always a struggle....
    From his point of view.... he has a wife with a multitude of health and mobility issues. From mine.... he is so different from my ex..... a much improved second husband :)
  15. miranda-s

    miranda-s New commenter

    Some people just seem to get on better with those who are much older or younger than them. A friend of mine has always had relationships with people 10-20 years older than her, even back when she was in her late teens, and they've all been healthy, happy and reasonably long lasting relationships. She's now happily married to a man 15 years older than her, whose eldest child from his first marriage is only 6 years younger than she is. She gets on very well with her stepchildren, in her opinion much better than if she were older as she's never tried to play a parental role with them, even the younger ones, so there was no resentment or feeling that she was trying to replace their mum.
    agathamorse likes this.
  16. Lazycat

    Lazycat Established commenter

    I have two friends who married men a good 20+ years older. They were both very happy, had children and led interesting lives. Both were widowed in their 40s. It’s not something I would choose for myself but they were happy so I’m not going to judge
    agathamorse likes this.
  17. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    agathamorse and nomad like this.
  18. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    She's been on several TV programmes and appeared in interviews and news items. She has a book out too. I'd say the name but it would immediately out me as I appear in a lot of her photos on insta, facebook and twitter.
  19. grumbleweed

    grumbleweed Lead commenter

    Mr GW is 15:years older and I'd say our main issue is that he took early retirement and I'm still working. In order for us to have quality retirement together I will have to retire soonish. There's every chance that he won't want or be able to do things if I retire when he's in his 80s.
    But it's never otherwise been a problem. He has better health than me despite the age.
    HelenREMfan and bombaysapphire like this.
  20. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Btw... I have no problem with an older woman engaging in any romantic activity with younger men. Some people use the term 'Cougar' disparagingly... I'm not doing that. Live long and prosper rings true whatever the age.

    I guess the male term is 'sugar daddy' ... I can't think of another one the equivalent of 'cougar' ... but that has a transactional element which is creepy [in my mind]
    agathamorse likes this.

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