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Advice please, would be greatly appreciated

Discussion in 'Personal' started by occold25, Mar 31, 2016.

  1. occold25

    occold25 New commenter

    It would be really helpful if I could have some advice on the following situation:

    My dad unfortunately passed away last year after a short illness. As a result, we (including my mum and brother) are downsizing and looking for somewhere else to live. However, it looks like that it may mean that we are going to be living in the same town where I work at the high school. I know it is stressful for everyone involved, especially my mum, and that we all have our preferences. However, I have numerous worries about living in the same town, including bumping into students/parents and just not being able to properly disconnect from where I work.

    I just don't know if I can live in the exact same place where I work. I would be happy to hear your opinions on my situation/your thoughts on living in the same community where you work.
  2. T0nyGT

    T0nyGT Lead commenter

    I live in the same community as I work and some pupils live on the same street as me (one in the building directly across).

    I don't bump in to them that much surprisingly but when I do it's just friendly. I really have no problems living close to them although some teachers actively avoid it
    wanet likes this.
  3. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Personally I wouldn't like to live and work in the same place. Meeting in town whilst shopping on an occasional weekend but potentially running into them , or their parents on a daily basis - no! Others may feel differently however.

    My initial reaction is, just because your Mum is moving doesn't automatically mean you have to move with her.
    What about looking for a house share f you couldn't afford to rent on your own, where you live at present?
    Your mum may even quite like the idea of having a new start on her own after a year to cope with her widowhood?
    cissy3 and grumpydogwoman like this.
  4. wanet

    wanet Star commenter

    Me too before retiring.
  5. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    It depends on the school pupils, I suppose. I lived in a teeny town and taught at the local high school. Never had a problem. But then they were, for the most part, very lovely, small town kids.
  6. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    It can be a bit irritating when you realise it's a pupil scanning your shopping at Asda or a pupil's mum who is the doctor's receptionist but as long as you remember not to discuss pupils at the top of your voice in the park, cafe or pub you should be fine.
    Lara mfl 05, wanet and grumpydogwoman like this.
  7. rachelpaula008

    rachelpaula008 Star commenter

    I'm a bit confused about your previous circumstances. Did you live away from your parents and town or did you move back recently?

    I was lucky enough to work in a couple of secondary schools which were in the same town, but were 15 minutes drive from home. In my experience students were fine when we bumped into one another, which wasn't often.. Most children (IMHO) forget teachers have a life and are just mildly surprised to see you out of school. I wouldn't worry about it - unless you work in an EBD school / PRU - some of those children could be a little embarrassing in their behaviour in public.

    Hope this helps and I am sorry about your dad.
  8. Milgod

    Milgod Established commenter

    How big is the town? Town, to me, sounds like there would be plenty of places to 'hide'.

    I live about 7 minutes from where I work. I see children at the shopping centre sometimes. Doesn't bother me.
  9. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    I live very close to my school as well, and have run into students around - no problems so far. I do share your worries - I lived on school grounds for one job (it was a one-term temporary position) and did feel awkward bringing wine back to my room! I almost always ran into students or parents in the shops nearby, but I would just smile and continue on my way....

    You could move with your mother and see how it goes, at least, it would help your mother in the moving/early stages.......
    Dragonlady30 likes this.
  10. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    I think it depends on what type of school/what type of pupils they are - I lived very close to pupils when working in a grammar school - no problem; but when I worked in comprehensives I chose to live in another town and seldom, if ever, went to the town where I worked, and when I did I usually regretted it.

    So be careful!
  11. Milgod

    Milgod Established commenter

    I wouldn't feel an issue with children seeing me buy beer. They often buy me (well, probably their parents) alcohol for Christmas or the end of year.
  12. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Beer, I didn't have a problem with. Do your class really need to know what brand of tampons you prefer? No so much, in my experience!
  13. Milgod

    Milgod Established commenter

    I don't tend to wear tampons unless it's a really big night out.

    I guess I just don't get embarrassed that easily. There's nothing wrong with tampons.
  14. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I always lived away from where i worked and liked to drive away at the end of the day but i thought teachers who lived in the community had a different relationship with parents - they were "one of us" so to speak, in a good way. It would be good to have a short trip to and from work. If it's a good place to live for your family I think you'd be fine. I never worked in a community i would have liked to live in come to think of it..
  15. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    Firstly, my commiserations on your loss. I live very close to my school.It isn't a problem, but it is primary, not secondary.I rarely bump into pupils, but when I do they are usually pleased to see me and come over to say hello. I suppose it will be different with older pupils, but it shouldn't really be a problem.Good luck.
  16. Milgod

    Milgod Established commenter

    I couldn't imagine travelling more than 10 minutes to work. What wasted time. There aren't enough hours in the day as it is!
    T0nyGT likes this.
  17. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    It depends on a number of factors, how big is the town in question, how many other schools service the area and exactly how close would your home be to your place of work.

    As a supply I turn down work in the two closest schools to my address so I will not meet students living a few streets away from me but I am happy to work in other schools which are only a few miles from my home. This does mean I could (and have done) bump into students I know in shopping centres, sports centres, local events. To be honest students don't find teachers that interesting once they are outside school hours.

    Also it depends on your lifestyle outside of school. If it involves wild drunken biker parties with naked dancing around a campfire in the back garden there might be an issue but most, in fact all, teachers I know including myself have fairly normal lifes and again of little interest to students. Which is a pity :(.
  18. mandylifeboats

    mandylifeboats Occasional commenter

    As happens in many cities, my nice suburb annexes a hellhole estate, where I used to work. I often bumped into pupils when going about my daily business. Out of school they were unfailingly pleasant and polite, despite my being not the world's most touchy-feely member of staff.
    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  19. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Since I've retired I've loved bumping into old pupils.

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