You really need to politely persist with enquiring what is going on in the nursery. It is YOUR child and you have concerns. People on here can, at best, sympathise - but it is clear that you need to do some more finding out - and there is no reason whatsoever why the nursery people should not be more informative and helpful. It may well be that your son, and other children, would simply be happy just to have a 'bag' like some of the other children and this bag could simply contain some lovely story books to be shared with you at home. You shouldn't even have to tread on eggshells with this issue.