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Advice. Leave or stay ?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by alicewonders, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. alicewonders

    alicewonders New commenter

    I’m sorry to be back on again but your advice is always needed and respected.

    Last July I was, for want of a better word , an i**** at a party and let out some alcohol fuelled anger as a colleague I had been having disagreements with , now the AH. I am told by the dr and psychologist it was a continuation of panic attacks I had been having for many months which had started as a result of a disagreement with the same colleague.

    Fast forward and after 6 weeks of being signed of with WRS , many trips to the Drs , medication and finally getting to see healthy minds , I have been back at work a half term ( great step you would think).I have apologised several times to the colleague and others that were round to witness it as I am genuinely sorry. But after coming straight back to a new role as inclusion manager (class based 3 and a half days) I feel like I am constantly being undermined and feel like a paper work monkey with no actual say. My class , who I was told by SLT are ‘admittedly difficult’ mean I am constantly stressed anyway with little support.

    I am meant to be the line manager for the TAs but a particular member of staff continually goes above my head when she does not agree with my decisions. (She is the best friend of the 1st colleague ).

    All class responsibilities , assessment planning marking etc have been left to me even on days when I am not in class because my partner is a long term supply and in fairness to him has been honest that he will not be doing any gap comments etc as he is not employed by the school.

    I’ve found myself working 7-11 everyday again (2-11 on sundays) and am coming home crying every day.

    Up next I have 2 observations on the 2 days I am in class , training courses , after school events and clubs , as well as lesson planning scrutinys (RAG) every week ( for everyone). I have always been graded good for observations but I worry now with my class this year being packed full of their own needs (1/3 SEN and major behaviour issues) and the bad atmosphere around the person who is observing me , that any of my lessons may be viewed differently. Additionally , performance management target above 60% ARE in a class working at least 1 year below ARE on average have made me
    Feel like I’ve failed before I’ve even started.

    It is increasingly difficult with anxiety and depression coupled with work place politics to have a ‘good day’. While I understand I am prone to distorted thinking ( counsellor term) , I think even any ‘normal’ person would be cracking.

    Do I look for somewhere new or do is suck it up ?
  2. sabrinakat

    sabrinakat Star commenter

    Get out asap. Am reminded of the old saying - 'not my monkeys, not my circus'.
  3. J.M.Powell

    J.M.Powell New commenter

    Look elsewhere-it’s important for colleagues to trust each other and if that trust has been broken then a fresh start will be better all round.
  4. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Star commenter

    It doesn't sound like a good situation nor that it will get any better. It sounds like you should Start applying for other jobs. You also need to cut down on the amount of hours you are doing. Try to only do things that are essential, everything else will have to be left.
    andorian likes this.
  5. WTDT

    WTDT New commenter

    I know how you feel....what an industry to be working in. I don't know any other sector in which employees work so much over-time but don't get paid for it. It is ridiculous. I recently left full time teaching. I still teach twice a week but on those days I come home absolutely knackered and I can't sleep because of the anxiety etc. On the off days, I am fine. I suggest checking with your union rep re the 2 observations. Are those for you or are you a HoD?
    Fluffy_Koala likes this.
  6. andorian

    andorian New commenter

    I think you intuitively know the answer, don't you? You just need a bit of reinforcement! Do it, get yourself out of that hellhole! I like this, btw: 'not my monkeys, not my circus!' I'm going to remember that one.
  7. alicewonders

    alicewonders New commenter

    The first observation went well and I got a good. Next one is Monday , although this still hasn’t been confirmed. I’m the inclusion manager, BECo and head of other things aswell as class teacher. Not sure how much longer I can keep up with the pace and meeting all the non negotiables. Thank you for all the advice.

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