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Advice from anyone with 3 children!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by Chica77, May 8, 2011.

  1. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    For me it would be age and finances! I have a son who's 2 next month and my 2nd is currently overdue. I'm 33 now and 34 in october. If we did have a 3rd i'd want to wait until the first was at school because of childcare costs, but then i'd end up being 36/37 and I don't really want to be having children at that age (no offence to those who do).
    I think with the age gaps you will have it'll be fine. Your first will be at school, your 2nd will be entitled to their free nursery places (if they still do that) so you will have plenty of time to spend with the baby. I am the eldest of 3 - when my brother was born I was just over 5 and at school, my sister was 3 and went to playgroup. My mum said it was pretty good as we were in a routine, and she got to spend a lot of time with my brother.
    I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 3rd, but she has a big age gap between the first 2 - the eldest will be 12 in Oct and the 2nd will be 2 in Oct. The 3rd is due soon. They have a 2 bedroom flat!
  2. We have three - 6, 4 and 2, so very similar ages to what you are considering. I had just turned 32 when we had our first, and was still 35 when our third was born.
    Personally we found the difference between 1 and 2 children much bigger than the difference between 2 and 3. However, you do sort of 'go from man-to-man marking to zone defence' as our consultant jokingly said at our 20 week scan (he had 4). It is also worth noting that most 'family' cars cannot fit the necessary 3 child seats across the back seats. We had a Mondeo and had to change to a Scenic - an annoying expense that we hadn't considered.
    I am from a family of three siblings and knew this was what I wanted. Can't think of any negatives - except for the extra noise, expense and mess!
  3. I'm from a family of 3 siblings. My 2 older sisters are 5 and 6 years older than me so I guess my mum waited for them to be at school so she could concentrate on the third - me!
    I agree with all the above replies too. If you think it may be harder with 3, could you wait until your second one goes to school?? That'll be waiting for a good couple of years though which may not be what you want.
    If all goes well with me, I would like my first couple to be close in age, and then I'll wait to see if I want a third and if I do (which I really would like), I'll probably leave it until the first two are a bit more independent/older.
  4. Trudy

    Trudy New commenter

    Thanks for that, you actually made me guffaw like a loon! It sometimes feels like zone defence with the 2 we currently have!
    Thank you for all your replies, it's nice that no one is negative about 3. Yes, the age gaps would be okay - if I were to conceive around Christmas they'd be just 5, just 3 and newborn next September. I am only 28 but have kind of always thought if I was going to have children I'd like them all done by the time I am 30.
    With regard to the car situation, I had considered that - we have a family sized car but wouldn't fit 3 child seats in the back, so I guess we'd have to put one of the child seats in the front, and squeeze me in the middle seat in the back. Unless we looked at another car - I don't know if there are many that actually fit 3 child seats across the back.
    My mum looks after the girls when I am at work (3 days a week) and she is fab, she loves them, always tells me not to thank her as it's a pleasure and she adores them etc etc, but I think I would be terrified to tell her I was having another - I would hate for her to think I am taking advantage of her, as it would be her 3 days a week taking them to nursery/school and feeding them their lunch.
    Hmmmm.... lots to consider.
  5. I'm one of 3 siblings and we had a ball, I was always gutted that I didn't have a sister but wouldn't change my brothers for the world.
    Watch out for tag-team arguing when they are older. It is always 2 on 1, never the same teams but always 2 on 1. The one who wasn't involved used to hang back and pick the winning team before joining in [​IMG].
    We had great fun, good luck!
  6. Meant to say, my parents always said this.
  7. landaise

    landaise Occasional commenter

    When my forth child was born, the first was a fortnight away from her sixth birthday. Four children under six sounded horrendous to some, but was perfectly manageable. Age gaps: 28 moths between nos 1 and 2, 17 months between 2 and 3 and 26 months between 3 and 4. Now their ages range from 19 to 13 and as they've grown up together, with only two school years apart we've hardly seen the years go by!
    As sharwyn says, the biggest change seems to be going from 1 to 2 children, that's when you become a 'family' and not 'couple plus child' in the eyes of many. I gave up work when no 2 was born and only went back when last was starting school. A sacrifice, but I don't regret it: we brought them up, with very little help from even grandparents (we've nearly always lived hours away from them and currently our nearest family is about 650 miles away!)
    You will always find a way to make things work, if you really want the three children.
  8. Trudy

    Trudy New commenter

    Thank you beachhut, I know what you mean about pregnancies being hard - I had SPD with both of mine, and was sick every day from 8 weeks till the end. Makes me wonder why I would be prepared to go through it again when I put it like that, but I STILL feel very broody!!
  9. There is 15 months between my 19 year old and our 17 year old twins. There are no real drawbacks although the sleepless nights are a memory that sticks. Also most things come in packs of four or six and tables in cafes tend to be for four or six. I also have two older children from my first marriage and I have to say that a large family has always been a great comfort to us all. However I agree with an earlier poster, with 3 there is always one left out although rarely the same one for long. If the children are all a similar age you can ship them all to Brownies, Guides etc together so you don't necessarily have 3 times as much running around. I'd definitely go for it, I'd certainly do it again. Oh, should add, the pelvic floor muscles never really feel the same again.
  10. I would say definitely go for it Trudy! Especially when you are feeling so broody. When I had my second child I (even though almost all of my friends "only" had two children) just didn't feel that I was done and I didn't feel that our family was complete. My first and second are 22 months apart and then we had a third 23 months after number 2. They are now 4.5, almost 3 and 11 months old and it's lovely! The first couple of months are always hard with a small baby because of the sleep deprivation (as you well know) but I think at the end of the day the positives outweigh the negatives. I always thought that if I didn't go for it now I would perhaps always wonder what it would have been like with three children when it's too late, meaning in 10 years time or so when I couldn't get pregnant anymore. Good luck with your decision, I do believe that you have to go with your gut feeling though and all the practicalities like a new car, holidays etc. will sort themselves out eventually.
  11. Trudy

    Trudy New commenter

    [​IMG] lol
  12. Trudy

    Trudy New commenter

    Yes, this is exactly what has been going on in my head for a while. The past few days at school, I keep thinking 'how would I manage if I was pregnant now?' - it is still very vivid from last time feeling sick etc. But it is not putting me off!
    Aaaarrrggggh pressure now lol!!! Quite excited though, thinking I have probably made up my mind [​IMG]

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