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Advice for young female teacher please! where is best to work in s.e. asia?

Discussion in 'Teaching abroad' started by littlebluemonkey, Mar 1, 2008.

  1. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    Honestly, why would they want a look in with those types? Yuck. I have a Thai friend whose son has been at school with my daughter since Kindy. Obviously, the reciprocal acts in the bedroom (*** does that mean anyway, that western/western couple don't?????) lost their sparkle, her English ex has treated her appallingly. He has virtually trapped her here for years as he won't sign the papers to let her take her son to visit her family. The son is now 11 and his grandparents have never seen him.
    We also have many Filipina women who marry men much older and uglier than them. Do you guys really think they marry you for the wonderful sex or conversation??? Please! Most of these poor women will do anything to escape the grinding poverty they experience in their countries and to help support their families, God help them.
    I'm sure there are love matches in some relationships but I don't think they are in the majority.
  2. bigfatgit

    bigfatgit Occasional commenter

    I have to agree with everything Yasimum said
    Even in Cairo, there are these "couples" that you describe. It's quite sickening watching these older "gentlemen" pawing young girls in certain bars (Why did the word "**********" just jump into my head?)
    Some get taken to the cleaners by their lady friends which can be worth a giggle to the rest of us; unless of course, you know the little lady back home who has to suffer because of her idiot husband's behaviour in Cairo
  3. I have met some of these 'gentlemen' although they never try pawing more than once. Luckily for them and their wives, I am not a mercenary although I have been tempted to assault one or two of them.
  4. Peako

    Peako New commenter

    May i be so bold as to take the Middle Path direction in this debate.
    I think both Tangchao and Yasimum have been guilty of gross stereotyping here. As a not too old or ugly farang (foreigner) with a Thai partner, i disagree very strongly with both of you for your outdated outlooks and tenous steryotypes.
    Firstly, Tangy, i do not apprecciate and love my partner because she irons my clothes (yes i confess she does at times, but i also cook most times, so ok in my modernish eyes). I do so because she is the most calm, caring and considerate person i have met.
    Yasimum, you verge on insulting people like myself with your very western valued and one dimensional comments. We are not all fat, old perverts don't you know? The MAJORITY i know with Thai partners are respectable and professional people, though maybe that depends where you hang out? I am absolutely sure my partner loves me for who i am (of course i give her some element of security-is this alien to the needs of western women? I think not) and likewise i her.
    Ok, so back to topic. I think that yes, some western women do find it difficult due to the virtues of Thai women i have mentioned above and the fact that many are very attractive for sure. However , if you come with confidence and an open mind then then you will have a great time. Conversely, if you mope around with Yasimum's negative attitude to everything male in Thailand, then i guess you will inevitably be on the plane out sooner than later !

  5. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    I am calling it as I see it from my experience here, I wasn't talking about males in Thailand actually, I was talking about the examples I have seen in my own country and it ain't pretty. I don't mope around about men in Thailand, I don't have time to waste.
    You talk about stereotyping and then go do exactly the same yourself. Your statement about the virtues of Thai women,a) suggests that this applies to all Thai women (a stereotype) and b) suggests that no western women have these 'virtues' (a stereotype). But then I guess I am just one of those horrible western women and have the audacity to state my views and call you when you are contradicting yourself.
    I do very much support the then Thai minister for tourism several years ago however, when discussing western men's predilection for having unprotected sex with anything that moves in his country resulting in an HIV explosion: "We welcome tourists to Thailand, but please leave your semen at home!"
  6. Peako

    Peako New commenter

    Oh dear, such blind cynicism. I rest my case. [​IMG]
    Oh, and your final paragraph is one of the most naive, factually negligent posts regarding Thailand and the spread of HIV I have ever read. At least get out of bed and do some form of research please before you humiliate yourself again! I don't take any pleasure in bashing posters but actually feel justified after having to put up with your inane drivel.
    Sorry, firm but fair!
  7. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    Oh God help us! Thank you sir for being firm but fair! Ah, the
    arrogance of a westerner in a foreign country. Are you suggesting that
    you are more aware of the situation in Thailand than the Thai's are?
    Perhaps I could suggest you do the same as you have advised me to and
    then maybe you could educate all about the HIV problem in Thailand
    instead of merely sniping and running. Oh for the luxury of staying in
    I have no time for people such as the previous poster who
    just wants to pick a personal grudge (and you do, as in your first post
    you state that you want to counter the stereotyping of myself and the
    male poster but then you launch in to a full blown personal insult fest
    whilst not even mentioning the male posters comments-typical.) I do
    want to make clear though, that my comments are not meant in a
    derogatory way to Thai women. As I stated before, I have a Thai friend
    who has introduced me to many of her friends here and they are all
    lovely, attractive and vibrant women. They are just being treated very
    badly, the balance of power is most definitely tilted in the ex
    partners' favour and it makes me incredibly cross to see them treated
    as a commodity with, what seems to be, an attitude of; plenty more
    where they came from. It is that whole dehumanisation of people from
    developing countries.
    I saw this happening in a huge way in the
    country we have recently returned from. Total lack of compassion for
    the situation in which the local people have to operate and that whole
    mindset of, 'well they aren't like us are they'. It makes me despair
    for humanity really.
    I do know two people from these forums who
    are living in Thailand and Indo respectively who are neither fat, ugly
    or a pervert and are married to local women and have a happy family
    life there but even they admit they are in the minority.
    I'm so
    sick though of hearing the perspective of western men. It would be
    really interesting to hear from Thai men on what they think of the
    situation don't you think.
  8. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    Oh and on a personal note may I also add that I count my blessings for the man in my life, who is also from a non-western culture, who doesn't deem it necessary to be patronising to his peers. He is also firm but fair - to his children. So that is another stereotype that needs putting paid to that western women don't find non-western men attractive.
  9. Oh, definitely with you on the virtues. NO Western women I know are calm, considerate or caring. We are all wicked haridans verging on murderous thoughts at all times of the day. As for IRONING! You'll be asking a woman to bear children next. What is the world coming to?
    Can I just point out that, bar myself and everyone's ex, most women are caring and considerate? Not 100% sure about calm, but then I do associate with many women that work. They seem calm enough to me. Or should that be in comparison to me?
  10. I wash, iron, cook, iron and all that 90s' man stuff, but I am also a pervert![​IMG]
    You just can't win sometimes...
    Tangcho. Please tell me you are winding us up. Hilarious and everyone bit. Please? [​IMG]
  11. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    LOL! We know you are a pervert FP but I could deal with that if you did the ironing.
  12. Wow Yasimum, you seem to explode at any white man (no I am not one of those fat 60 something men you decry) who is with a SE Asian woman; but you are yourself with a foreign man.
    I am quite sure I could start throwing some derogatory assumptions based on stereotypes at you, but I will refrain.
    However, it may be fair to say that I have seen many obese white women going out with strapping young African men...
  13. The lady I am referring to is not Thai; in fact I don't really like Thailand or their girls as much as I like their neighbours.
    No mention of loyalty, trust, fun, mutual esteem and respect as that goes without saying.
    I mentioned the language barrier as a challenge that I enjoy overcoming, one of the great things about living in a foreign country is learning a foreign language and doing this with a beautiful partner is far better than going off to a language school each afternoon.
    I can't speak for those men who ignore their partners ... I certainly wouldn't do that. Though it can be nice to speak English in top gear sometimes, especially if you don't get to do it that often.
    For myself, I really appreciate my ironed clothes and coffee waiting for me in my immaculately clean house each morning. I don't really see why you find that offensive... but I just love it.
    I have a (white, English) friend who brought home the bacon, quite a good amount of it, while his (white, English, in-need-of-a-gym-membership) would look after their ONE kid. I went around to the house a few times and it was just a dump. I am sorry, but I find this unacceptable. If he has put a roof over his wife's and kid's heads, feeds them, clothes them, educates the kid in a good school, then the VERY LEAST she can do is keep a clean house and have a nice meal on the table for him.
    An Asian lady would be aghast at how badly white housewives treat their men.
  14. I litereally haven't washed, ironed or cooked since I arrived in Asia. If a girlfriend doesn't do it then my maid will. I eat out every night.
    No, not attempting to wind up anyone, I thought I was being helpful! However, I am pleased at your sense of hilarity.
  15. the hippo

    the hippo Lead commenter Community helper

    On the subject of washing and ironing, I was completely spoiled while teaching in Kenya. Our "boy", Mwangi, used to collect the shoes I had thrown in one corner of the bedroom, polish them beautifully, wash my socks, iron them neatly and then return them all to their correct places in the wardrobe. After we left Kenya, Mrs Hippo would shout, "Where is Mwangi?" whenever I left my smelly items of footwear lying around the bedroom.
  16. And what does it say?
    Am I not allowed an opinion on what I would like in a woman?
    Don't get me wrong, I think if the wife is the primary breadwinner, then the husband should be looking after the house and kids. This would be his job.
    I am just saying that I appreciate, very much, that Asian women of today seem far more house proud than the average Western woman of today.
  17. Are you insinuating that I treat women like chattels?
  18. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    I don't know how YOU treat women; I don't know you. My you was in a collective sense and was an addendum to the post directly before it. Of course everyone is allowed their opinion but in the same vein, are we not allowed to disagree with your opinion?
    Your opinion on being 'houseproud' is one that a lot of women would disagree with I feel. I work 8 hours a day at the workplace and usually average at least 3-4 hours at home most days, so you will forgive me if when I get home, I want to spend time with my daughter and our animals instead of worrying about being houseproud. I have a home and a busy life. It's tidy mostly but definitely not perfect-do I care about that? Nope.
  19. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    I have no idea how you treat women, I don't know you. My use of you was in the collective sense and was an addendum to my post directly before it.
    Of course everyone is allowed an opinion but in the same vein; are we not allowed to disagree with you? Of course we are.
    As for your edicts on the virtues of being houseproud well you may as well be whistling dixie as far as I am concerned. I work 8 hours a day in the workplace and usually clock up another 2-4 hours at home most days on work related stuff. When I am not engaged in the stresses of the day, I like to spend time with my daughter and our dogs. My house is tidy but certainly not perfect. Do I care? Nope-I have a busy life and a wonderful family who take priority when I'm not at work.
  20. Hi
    I teach English in HK as part of their Native English Teacher [NET] scheme. I earn over twice what I was earning in the UK and tax is much lower. I have respect, no discipline problems, lovely kids and bearable working conditions. HK is an OK place to live as English is present, although many locals only speak a few words. But it is safe, clean, cheap[ish] and has some pretty countryside. Don't much care for the locals but hey...

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