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Adoption

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by becky70, Apr 10, 2011.

  1. I'm thinking about it but not done with ttc yet.
     
  2. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I've seriously considered it, but it doesn't tick my boxes.
     
  3. No experience myself, but there was a long and very interesting (and ultimately very happy!) thread on Personal about adopting a child. I'll try and find the link for you.
     
  4. We're considering it - been ttc for nearly four years now. I rang our local social services last week and their next meet up is in July so I'm thinking about that. I still can't quite feel that I'll never have my own child but I can also see us adopting a little one.
    How far into the process are you?
     
  5. We also said that if we could not conceive naturally, we also would go down this route.
    whiterabbit - I am sure you have tried all of this and am not wanting to get hopes up at all but.... I have a friend who was ttc for 5yrs, had 2 courses of IVF which did not work. She was close to giving up and went to see a nutritionalist who changed her diet and she conceived. She had a little girl in January. I don't know the full story but she said explained it as having good bacteria and bad bacteria, with the bad bacteria blocking up her tubes until her diet changed. I wouldn't normally believe this stuff but knowing how desperate they were for a child and to now see them with her, there can be hope still. It does make me angry though that theIVF clinic happily took money from them without checking it really was their last resort and all other methods hadn't been covered!
    Having said all of that, I believe that adopting a child/children is an amazing and wonderful thing for a couple to do - good luck with the process.
    x
     
  6. Thank you - however I have had checks and I ovulate normally and have no blockages in my tubes. I have falled pregnant twice - once nearly 3 years ago when I had a MC discovered at 9 weeks and had to have a D+C to remove the 'products of conception' as its called. Again earlier this year when I had a chemical pregnancy.
    Basically doctors have told me that I don't suffer from infertility as I have got pregnant twice in four years and I don't have a problem with MCs until I have a third one. I feel like I'm in limbo and don't know whether to give up ttc and go down the adoption route.
    Sorry for going on about my story in another person's post! Not sure there are many other considering adoption on this site though. I read How We Laughed posts and found them fascinating though and it's made me consider adoption even more seriously.
     
  7. thanks for all the posts. It's a tricky one. trying to conceive can, for quite a few women, depend on age and many other factors. Some can be highly fertile by late 30s, even early 40s; some are almost infertile by that age. I have personal experience of much fertility treatment, a biochemical pregnancy, a pregnancy that miscarried. I reached my 40th birthday and cannot take anymore fertility treatment. It has been an 8 year journey. I was terrified of adoption, but now think my sadness can become a young child's joy - someone who only looked forward to a life of misery can now, potentially, have a fairly 'good mum and good dad' so i am being brave and going with it. I do not talk about it to people because the pain is too much for them - but i have soldiered through it all, and feel all the stronger for it. Although i have been crying out inside for years, i have held it together through several jobs and am just beginning to crawl out from under the pain. It's a sobering experience and brings much wisdom and makes you realise how precious ALL life is, and how precious health is. I take nothing for granted now and realise i am married to a lovely lovely man and this in itself is a massive piece of luck.
    it is a long journey to this point but we've made preliminary enquiries and are very slowly moving forward with adoption.
     
  8. Anybody just see the programme about a little girl called Maisie? It made me have happy tears and totally summed up how great a gift adoption is. x
     
  9. Agreed. I cried at the point when they talked about children in secure care (like Maisie's brother) and how it's for children who can't live with families. Imagine being a child who can't live with a family. It made me wonder why I'm even considering fertility treatment and made me even more interested in adoption.
    I also thought that couple are amazing - they were so patient and giving.
     
  10. Academicgown, I was adopted as a young baby (3 months) and now have been blessed with my own LO. But because of being adopted I always said I would adopt without hesitation.
    I think it is a terrifying journey, but wonderful parents are needed for children like I was whose biological parents are not able (for whatever reason) to care for them. I feel like adoptive parents are not only doing something important for themselves, but also something amazing for a baby/child who needs someone to love and look after it.
    So, while I really feel for you in terms of your ttc journey, adoption is an alternative and you can still have a wonderful family. I'm sure my parents never looked back once they had me.
    I wish you all the best and hope it works out well for you.
    x
     
  11. Adoption is an amazing thing to do. We discussed it and would consider it if we couldn't have our own. We even discussed whether we should adopt a child to match our race!! Of course it doesn't matter at all, we were just playing, but that's how much thought we put into it.
    What a lovely gift to give to a child :)
     
  12. Academic - are you planning to adopt a child from baby age or child age? Or are you not fussed?
     
  13. One word.....Mumsnet (www.mumsnet.com) amazing site for all parenting issues and hilarious threads too (personal fave- Am I Being Unreasonable?) They have an adoption forum too with loads of threads http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions
    Personally love mumsnet and you will find lots of highly intelligent threads starting up each day....can you tell Im hooked?
    Y1teacher
     

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