I'm a 33 year old male. Here's a little tale for you all. I'd like people's thoughts. Will try and keep it simple. When I was 19 and my brother was 21, my mum told us that when she'd been 16 and long before meeting my dad, she'd had a child and given her up very quickly for adoption. Obviously the circumstances were complex - my mum was raised within a strict Irish Catholic background and one can only imagine how the news went down. The girl, some 27 years later, had tracked my mum down and had been in touch. My brother and I were told that she wanted to meet us as she was very curious about things. This was in 1998/99. When the news was 'announced' to us, it wasn't massively shocking - I'd actually discovered that I had a half-sister a year or so before when I'd come across some documents I'd been looking through at home. I remember calling my brother and telling him - he was obviously deeply shocked. I'd said nothing to my mum or dad...how could I? Anyway, the following year, by some coincidence, I believe my half-sister had used an agency to track my mum down and her and my mum consequently met up. I have no idea how many times and how successful things were. My mum told us that our half-sister wanted to meet my brother and I. I felt angry at my mum at the time - for one, I felt something that we should have been told about much sooner was only coming out then. I'm guessing my mum felt very ashamed about it all but... anyway, for what it's worth, my half-sister, by this time, was engaged or married and had a successful career and was living many miles away in the midlands. That was all I really knew as that's all we were told. However, after being told the news, my mum became very closeted about it all again. I tried to bring it up a few more times in the months which followed (e.g. have you met with X lately?) but she seemed disinterested and the topic became a taboo. To make matters worse, my brother also seemed disinterested - when I raised it with him, he'd say "it's not our business, she has her own life and she's happy, forget it." But I didn't see it like that. Over the past ten years or so, I frequently thought about getting in touch with her. I tracked her down on the internet, in fact, but resisted a phone call as I was concerned it would upset my mum and any other family members. It's certainly affected me as a person (I find it difficult to share things with my parents and I honestly think this kind of secretive behaviour is the key reason - it's not the only example either) and I felt even more frustrated that my mum didn't seem to want it brought up again. My dad's empathy to the situation was zilch - his opnion was "you're not kids, you're all gown-up, she has her own life etc..." Nice. Fast-forward to a week or two ago when I'm on the phone to my mum who announces they have 'some people' over this weekend. What people? My half-sister, her husband and my two small half-nieces, who, I had never even known existed till that point. She said, "would you like to come over and meet them? I've spoken to your brother." Well, imagine how I felt. Well, how would you have felt? I tried to explain to my mum that I felt I should have a discussion with my half-sister first, and answer any questions she might have. My mum said: "What sort of questions?" I explained I felt the situation was quite sensitive and I didn't relish the notion of just turning up for dinner and chatting about the weather with a half-sister and her family who I've never met before. She said "no, no, it would just be an informal thing." I explained it wasn't formal in the slightest; for one, my half-sister must have spent the last decade+ wondering why, for all the time that had passed, neither my brother or I had made any attempt to get in touch with her, even though we'd both known about her existence? My mum's responses were along the lines of 'you're making a big deal out of nothing' and I was deeply p---d off by it all. In the end, I suggested she at least call or text my half-sister and give her the opportunity, if she so wished, to get in touch with me for a chat. My mum agreed, but I have ten thousand pounds that she has not made any attempt to get in touch with my half-sister and pass the above on. Tonight, to try and get some way further, I phoned home and spoke to my dad (my mum was at work). His empathy was zero. He was rather rude and angry, in fact. He said I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I tried to remain calm and explained that, to the best of my knowledge, my mum and her daughter had fallen out of touch many years ago. He said no; he's even met her himself. When? About twelve months back. I've said enough. What do people think...?