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Additional paternity leave

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by duvetdays, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. My partner is taking additional paternity leave in the summer and will be part time from September to look after our little boy. He's started to go to the odd group with him now and yes he does get a few funny looks and lots of 'helpful advice'. Even his own parents have questioned him taking the main caring role. I just think some people have a rather old fashioned view of parenting and gender roles (some without even realising it!)

     
  2. We would love for OH to have time off with LO (age 2) and baby (due in a few weeks) but he has a permanent contract on UPS with a TLR and I have only had temp contracts and been teaching a couple of years so it's completely impossible for us as things stand :eek:(
    My dad looked after me and my brothers - so from the early '80's. It was exceptionally unusual then, and he certainly got 'looked after' by lots of well meaning mums (although my dad is a lovable but ditzy type so may have been a good thing!). He was brill, though, and most people thought it was cool that our family had done things tha way round.
    There are no 'regular' dads at the groups I go to (like my OH they tend to pop in when off work etc). If there were though, I think it'd be great - as someone else said good to have a bit of balance (and like girls' schools, think things can get a bit tetchy and b*tchy with all women all the time!).
    I have sometimes wondered whether dads in this position find it more difficult to make friends in terms of it being totally usual for 2 mums to hang out lots and go for coffees etc, but could there be awkwardness or sometimes jealousy from partners if a man and a woman had lots of coffees and playdates? I like to think I'd be really pleased if it was my OH and he was making friends and enjoying being a SAHD, or that he would be relaxed about me hanging around with one of the other dads regularly.
     
  3. My husband is a house husband as I work full time. He's with our two girls (aged 2 and 6 months) all the time. He gets quite annoyed when he's out and people make comments such as "what a handfull for daddy" or "Is it daddies day today?" "Daddy and daughter days out" ETC....I see his point - it is very condescending!
     
  4. I bet it winds him up a treat! My OH works full time but is fab with LO and very involved, particularly in school holidays. Even though I am her primary carer, he doesn't just do token 'helps' with her and he'd be peed off, too, I reckon.
     
  5. There are a handful og dads who regularly attend stay and play sessions at my local children's centre; maybe because it's really relaxed unlike peep sessions or the like, which to nr honest I don't like much. These dads are often out walking together with their kids too. All the women are at ease with them and don't see them as doing any less of a job than a mum would! I think it's refreshing to see and wish my oh would take our babies to things like this at weekends or something!
     
  6. My Oh wants to take the APL when I return to work in May. He's having trouble getting his employer to admit it exists and the information on direct gov is hard to find. Do you have any advice on how we go about this? Thanks in advance.

    Oh and he's unsure what he gets. Is it the £130 ish a week, or 90% of wage. He's been told two different things by admin staff at work.
     
  7. helsav

    helsav New commenter

    My Hubby is a SAHD. I went back to work full time in November when my son was 4 1/2 months old due to finances. Hubby is currently on APL and has claimed the remainder of my statutory maternity leave pay (think it's £128 atm) He's /was a barman and we have planned it so that he returns to work april 1st, hands in notice works 1 week over the easter break and then stays at home until J is nursery age.
    He had to fill in a form that we found on the direct gov site and I think had to give 8 weeks notice.
    http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Moneyandworkentitlements/WorkAndFamilies/Paternityrightsintheworkplace/DG_190788
    all the info is here.
    the form is on the taking APL page (sc7 ?)
    Hubby has been doing it for almost 5 months now and is still learning, but loves it and it certainly worked out a lot cheaper for us than childcare!
    Helen
     

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