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Acceptable to cry for Leavers'?

Discussion in 'Primary' started by teachermiss, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. TweedJacket

    TweedJacket New commenter

    Snap - some of them can be a little 'Y6ish' with that attitude and I find myself becoming defensive when others bad-mouth them. I'd rather have a lively bunch that a boring class where it's like pulling teeth.
  2. I've been volunteering with a really nice class one day a week for almost a year. I said goodbye to them today and only just held the tears in. Especially when some of them were telling me they'd miss me and that I HAD to go to the leavers assembly.

    I did cry when I said goodbye to the class I was with for my SCITT year, so did my mentor (when she was saying bye to them for the summer).

    I don't think it was unprofessional, you spend so much time with the class over the year getting close to them (some classes more than others!!!!!!!!!) is natural.
  3. I agree with Oldie - sometimes it's releif, sometimes it's genuine loss, but I don't think a little tear or two is a problem at all. I draw the line at snot and bubbles, but I consider myself to have failed if I haven't made at least five kids and two members of the tutor team get weepy when i read "Oh the places you'll go" in our leavers' assembly.....
  4. I usually feel quite tearful even though I have never had year 6 - I will have, though, taught them in another year group.
    My worst time was my first year at my school - even though I'd never taught the year 6's - I had year 1 at the time but my year 1 kids were very close to some of the year 6's who were mentors in the playground. We got back to class after the leavers assembly and then all my little 6 year olds started blubbing because their big friends were leaving. I then got really upset coz all my little ones were upset!
    Seems sorta pathetic now I look back on it but I still get a lump at leavers assemblies every summer!
    I don't think it's a problem unless you are in unstoppable floods. I think the kids appreciate the fact that you are human and it's good for them to see that it's OK to cry if you are really upset.
  5. I imagine you have laughed with your class and shared many different emotions: do you think crying is really different. If the children cried what would you think of them? Crying in front of others, I think, demonstrates a confidence to share you true inner feelings and be honest. If you suppress these feelings would you feel better for being in "control"?
    Would you cry at a pupil's funeral? Perhaps if you did not, that might seem too passive.
    However, can I suggest a compromise when the pupils leave - moist eyes rather than howling in distress!
    Whatever you do is correct.
  6. I have often felt close to tears when previous years have left but have only cried on 2 occasions in front of the kids (except those times when I've laughed so much I've ended up crying!) The first was when we were away with the kids on a trip and it was also the last time I'd be with them as I was leaving the school. They were so sweet and I felt so moved by them buying me something.
    The other time was when one of the members of the form died in a RTA. We weren't sure if all the form knew on the next day in school so, while the HOY talked to the rest of the year group, I explained what had happened to the rest of my form. I couldn't hold back the tears and felt I'd let them down as I was supposed to be strong for them. They actually came to see me at break to see if I was alright! There was no embarrassment either time - I think they just saw me as being human.
    We aren't machines and obviously we need to stay professional, but if we care then we hurt sometimes and then it can hard to hide it. Far better to hide the anger than the tears.
  7. It was my last day as an NQT today and i sobbed my heart out!! My class (P2) were such a wonderful bunch of really nice kind children and I'm going to miss seeing their wee faces every day! One of them gave me a gift and card today and the card read "please don't forget me" and inside was a photograph of her. How could that not bring a tear to your eye!! I tried to hold it together for the kids, but when the last bell went half the class were in tears because they were going to miss me! So i let myself cry. The real sobbing began when i walked back into my classroom and saw only bare walls and tables and chairs! A real poignant moment! Aah tears in my eyes writing this!

    The fact that i'm now jobless really didn't help with the emotions!
  8. Just reading this thread is making me cry! [​IMG]

    My worst floods of tears were watching my very first Reception class at their Year 6 leavers assembly. It was very emotional for me and for them!!
    I think sometimes lots of tears can make the children more emotional, but I have usually just spent lots of time talking about it with the children, reassuring them, explaining that there will be lots more times when they feel that sense of loss - but without it they won't have the tremendous excitement of pastures new.

  9. I do cry at everything I admit but last year I was leaving my school (after 5 years) and the Y6s had been my first Y2 class) and I was a wreck, mostly because of leaving myself. I cried from 9 until hometime! I was so exhausted and thirsty by the end of the day.
    The other day a colleague told me about the song her son's leaving assembly was featuring and that was enough to put a lump in my throat!
    I am hopeless but I think it's ok, children understand you are human.
  10. gleam2000

    gleam2000 New commenter

    Me too!
    I started to get a bit moist eyed when I was teaching my Year 6 the song for our leavers' assembly. I've taught some of these children for 3 out of the 4 years of Junior school and have a close bond with many of them. I feel such pride when I see how grown-up they are becoming and realise that my colleagues and I have helped to shape these children into wonderful young people.
    Our Head cried when congratulating the children on the school play the other day- we are a school that is quite in touch with our feelings I think!
    In short, I expect to blub during leavers' and won't feel at all embarrassed. [​IMG]
  11. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    i think its nice for yout kids to see you care.even if its tears..but i do admit i do try to make leaving a more formal occassion.as they all leave they all ge ttheir hand shook, a word of two and in some cases a hug.one of the few occassions il allow myself to hold a boy or girl withough the background worry of what others might think.
    Srange thing is you feel you are being brave for them as they launch out onto the next stage of thier lives.

  12. tiffster

    tiffster New commenter

    Being absolutely knackered doesn't help, but I do try to hold it together in the Leaver's service and indeed at funerals - important to give them a good send off, I think. The singing is usually what gets to me more than anything - but my lot are awful at singing this year so maybe it won't be so emotional! Bless them.
  13. jammyhb

    jammyhb New commenter

    I just found this thread whilst looking for inspiration for our Leaver's Assembly and have sat and laughed and cried reading it! My partner thinks I'm more of an emotional weirdo than she did before as I looked even dafter having explained that I was crying because I read that some other people had been crying! There is no hope for me this year - as one of live's weepers (adverts, trashy magazine stories, a nice present etc etc) I am destined to cry at these sorts of assemblies. I am quite proud that I started off a whole group of parents last year - blubbering and shaking, the lot! Made me look a little less ridiculous with my bright red face!
  14. Maybe a bit of sniffing and eye wiping, but personally I think the kids are emotional enough at Leavers without us falling apart too - we owe it to them to be strong and hold it together. I managed to hold back until 3.20pm last year then cried my eyes out all evening! I only get upset about the Y6s, not the Y5s as I know I'll see them again in 6 weeks time.
  15. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    I have a few tears nearly every year when the children sing our "farewell" song
  16. tafkam

    tafkam Occasional commenter

    I am leaving my current school this year, along with my favourite class ever.
    I shall bawl like a girl, no doubt.
  17. I have been tearful at every leavers' assembly I've ever done, but for the first time this year it will be tears of relief that the little bleeders are moving on! Roll on 2010-11!!

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