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Abortion??

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Holiday246, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. Hello everyone, I really need some help. I haven't posted on here before but just want people's opninions before I do anything rash.
    Let me tell you my story.............................
    I am 18 weeks pregnant but have severe doubts about having the baby and it is terrible because the pregnancy was planned and I was so excited about it. At around 5 weeks pregnant I became very negative about being pregnant - I didn't want to tell anyone, I put it to the back of my mind, started questionning whether my partner was acutally the one for me and became very very down about it as though I was trapped. I went to the doctors for advice and they said to take some time and in the first frst 12 weeks my hormones would be going crazy. I took some time but all of my doubts didn't budge. I have been scheduled to have 2 abortions (medical method) but could not go through with either but wish I could so I could be free from all this.
    I don't feel my partner is the right one for me (although he is loving, caring, supportive) and feel like I would be making a terrible mistake having this baby. I hate myself for feeling this way but I can't help it. I am not excited just feel trapped. I am so angry because I wanted a baby with him more than anything.
    I have one more chance at having an abortion which I want to go through with but I am worried I won't be able too.
    I know there are other threads about trying to concieve for ages and fertility treatment ones and I feel so guilty writing this as I know lot's of you want a baby but please understand this just isn't the right time for me. I don't know why I have become the way I have and it is making me so down. Has anyone else felt like this?
    x
     
  2. Hello everyone, I really need some help. I haven't posted on here before but just want people's opninions before I do anything rash.
    Let me tell you my story.............................
    I am 18 weeks pregnant but have severe doubts about having the baby and it is terrible because the pregnancy was planned and I was so excited about it. At around 5 weeks pregnant I became very negative about being pregnant - I didn't want to tell anyone, I put it to the back of my mind, started questionning whether my partner was acutally the one for me and became very very down about it as though I was trapped. I went to the doctors for advice and they said to take some time and in the first frst 12 weeks my hormones would be going crazy. I took some time but all of my doubts didn't budge. I have been scheduled to have 2 abortions (medical method) but could not go through with either but wish I could so I could be free from all this.
    I don't feel my partner is the right one for me (although he is loving, caring, supportive) and feel like I would be making a terrible mistake having this baby. I hate myself for feeling this way but I can't help it. I am not excited just feel trapped. I am so angry because I wanted a baby with him more than anything.
    I have one more chance at having an abortion which I want to go through with but I am worried I won't be able too.
    I know there are other threads about trying to concieve for ages and fertility treatment ones and I feel so guilty writing this as I know lot's of you want a baby but please understand this just isn't the right time for me. I don't know why I have become the way I have and it is making me so down. Has anyone else felt like this?
    x
     
  3. oliverferret

    oliverferret New commenter

    This is such a personal decision that I don't think anyone could (or should) tell you what to do. I think you should consider having counselling asap.
     
  4. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    I have no idea what to advise you but counselling sounds a good idea as you need to be so very sure about this. Is is maybe a bit of fear for the unknown future with the baby and the partner. Nobody can see into their futures. Do you see yourself as a mother in the future and it's the timing which is off here? Or is it the fear of being with the wrong partner rather than the baby itself which is the issue? Get some proper advice and guidance but i guess the answers are already in your heart somewhere if you can sort them out.

    FWIW my daughters weren't planned and my relationship was rocky and subsequently ended but they are still the best thing ever.
     
  5. I'm not sure that there is time for counselling before the foetus is old enough to get up and walk out itself. What does the father of the child think about all this?
     
  6. orry to hear that you are feeling so bad. I remember how hormones can play a huge role and that havingsuffered post natal depression I was told that there is a depression associated with pregnancy. See GP and check it out before you make a decision.
     
  7. Eva_Smith

    Eva_Smith Established commenter

    I can't advise as it's clearly such a personal decision. However, I would say that the baby's father should have a voice in this. Also, even if you do not want the baby, abortion is not your only option.
    Unfortunately, time of of the escence if you are 18 weeks pregnant. There may not be enough time for a full course of counselling, but you could schedule enough sessions to help you make a decision one way or the other, and then attend subsequent sessions for the remainder of the pregnancy (should you end up going ahead with it) to help you with the process.
    This is only my personal opinion, but I would try to set aside my feelings for the baby's father and think about whether or not I want to be a parent. You say the pregnancy was planned, so it seems as though you do want to be a parents but your doubts about the relationship are hindering you.
    Above all, talk talk talk....to your partner, to a sympathetic friend, to a doctor...
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    I feel rather bemused that you say you planned this pregnancy but now you are telling us it's the wrong time for you but that you have cancelled two opportunities to terminate the pregancy. This IS a child we are talking about here not a game. If you can't make up your mind you need to be seeking specialist medical help IMMEDIATELY to talk about this. AND you need to discuss it with your partner since he was obviously your co-planner. I hope you manage to sort out the problem.
     
  9. To be honest, the whole thing doesn't sound like a problem on any practical grounds: it's a mental health problem. You want a baby/you don't want a baby. You make two termination appointments/you don't have a termination. Your partner's right to breed with/he's not right.
    Just as most women go a bit weepy after childbirth but some go on to develop post-natal depression, everyone's hormones go berserk during pregnancy but you have lost the plot. You need to tell this to a professional doctor or mental health specialist, not to us. For all any of us know you could go through with the abortion and having recovered your equilibrium, bitterly regret the decision ever after.
    Get some proper professional help.
    As nutella said, there's a life at stake here.
     
  10. I doubt doctors would support an elective termination at this stage of pregnancy, unless you were seriously at risk of harming yourself.
    I'm sorry, but it is long past the time for doubts, you are almost half way through your pregnancy.
    You do know that to terminate at this stage, would mean inducing labour and giving birth, with production of milk etc afterwards, just as though you had actually had it.
    Is that what you want?
    Many women have antenatal depression as well as postnatal depression, you can seek treatment for it.
    Once a baby is terminated it is gone forever!
     

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