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A sad day

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Malena113, Jan 12, 2011.



  1. <u><font face="Calibri">Spiral</font></u> Dizzy
    Floating in a spiral
    Being sucked down
    On free fall
    With no ending.
    Tired
    No energy reserves
    Engines not running
    No back up
    I fall.
    Relief
    Not to have to fight it anymore
    Not to have to make sense of it all
    My mind and my body
    Are on strike
    And nothing matters any more.
    I see the children&rsquo;s faces
    I hear them talking
    Low murmurs
    Stolen conversations
    Playing
    Drawing
    Not paying attention.
    They think I don&rsquo;t notice
    That it doesn&rsquo;t matter
    It tires me out
    It makes me feel hopeless
    different perspectives
    Feeling of defeat.
    A good teacher would be able to cope
    A good teacher would not lose control of the class like I do
    A good teacher would be able to engage all children
    At all times.
    I see my colleagues teach
    They have their own class
    They fight daily battles
    They know their childrens&rsquo; names
    They get tired too
    But they seem to take it in their stride
    Not let it get to them.
    I keep wishing I was as good as them
    I keep wishing I had more energy reserves
    I was a better teacher
    I had more love and respect for myself.
    I keep promising myself to be better next time
    To have more respect from the children
    To manage their behaviour better
    This time it will be different
    This time I will succeed
    But the jump is too high
    And I fall

    Down a spiral.
    Eva Alos
    12 October 2010

     


  2. <u><font face="Calibri">Spiral</font></u> Dizzy
    Floating in a spiral
    Being sucked down
    On free fall
    With no ending.
    Tired
    No energy reserves
    Engines not running
    No back up
    I fall.
    Relief
    Not to have to fight it anymore
    Not to have to make sense of it all
    My mind and my body
    Are on strike
    And nothing matters any more.
    I see the children&rsquo;s faces
    I hear them talking
    Low murmurs
    Stolen conversations
    Playing
    Drawing
    Not paying attention.
    They think I don&rsquo;t notice
    That it doesn&rsquo;t matter
    It tires me out
    It makes me feel hopeless
    different perspectives
    Feeling of defeat.
    A good teacher would be able to cope
    A good teacher would not lose control of the class like I do
    A good teacher would be able to engage all children
    At all times.
    I see my colleagues teach
    They have their own class
    They fight daily battles
    They know their childrens&rsquo; names
    They get tired too
    But they seem to take it in their stride
    Not let it get to them.
    I keep wishing I was as good as them
    I keep wishing I had more energy reserves
    I was a better teacher
    I had more love and respect for myself.
    I keep promising myself to be better next time
    To have more respect from the children
    To manage their behaviour better
    This time it will be different
    This time I will succeed
    But the jump is too high
    And I fall

    Down a spiral.
    Eva Alos
    12 October 2010

     

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