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A person I dislike

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by alfredrussell, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. alfredrussell

    alfredrussell New commenter

    After many years of science teaching in a very pleasant environment, a large grammar school, I find myself in a strange position. For the first time I have a colleague that I cannot abide! I really dislike this person. Ok, I have to work with them. Can anyone tell me, do I have to be nice or even polite to them? I am not, in any way, their manager. This person has, in the past in another school, made claims about discrimination and gone to a tribunal. They then moved to my school.
    My question is basically how do I have to behave. I am polite, barely, when I have to communicate. This has to happen quite frequently as they are a technician in the department. Could someone claim harassment or similar just because I do not like them and might be rude? It will not be deliberate, it might slip out.
    Any advice would be welcome.
     
  2. At the very least you have to be polite. There is no reason not to be so. But you don't have to be their friend. Just be totally professional at all times, request things courteously and your colleague will have nothing to complain about. You do not say why you dislike them so much. Is it just based on what you've heard happened at another school? The story will have been heard from one perspective only. Give this person a chance at least.
     
  3. Bargepole. Polite at all times but nothing further. No problem with people fighting against discriumination but the reality is that it is really easy to throw these allegations around, get some pc mafia to manipulate the law and intimidate people with similar threats. You would be well advised to steer clear until you are absolutely sure that they are not a serial complainant - remember that bent copper Ali D who got promoted every time he claimed discrimination and Blunkett backed him all the way because he was afraid of being called a racist?
     
  4. langteacher

    langteacher Occasional commenter

    did you know them before?
    how do you know that the discrimination didn't happen?
    i say just be polite and professional
     
  5. leadlearner

    leadlearner New commenter

    I think it is important to be polite, without wishing to pry it seems strange that they are pressing your buttons so much that you feel you wouldn't even wish to be civil to them. Even with unpleasant people being polite is the best option......without knowing what it is about them you dislike it is difficult to advise, might they be shy or as a newcomer finding things tough and are rubbing people up the wrong way because of this? All best,
     
  6. Be polite at work but buy yourself a mini voodoo doll and a box of pins.
     
  7. Karvol

    Karvol Occasional commenter

    Is this post serious?
    How old are you, 5?

     
  8. Steady on, old boy. We don't bottle up our emotions here. We explore. We release.
     
  9. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    I agree with Old Git (for once!):
    Polite. Professional. Bargepole.
     
  10. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    You have to be polite and professional - nothing less, nothing more.
     
  11. langteacher

    langteacher Occasional commenter

    it is a bit strange that someone has to ask "Do I need to be polite?"
    Can I ask what answer you thought you might get?
    "No you can be as rude as you like?"?????
     
  12. Cervinia

    Cervinia Occasional commenter

    Be civil to their face but you should organise a campaign against them with your colleagues.
    A poster on here a19pb offers some good advice as to tactics you may wish to employ to undermine this person. May I suggest one of my personal favourites for starters?...
    • Question the quality of person X's work behind their back.
     
  13. leadlearner

    leadlearner New commenter

    Firstly, I am sorry you are feeling unhappy by this and that your work place feels affected by this person.
    My advice would be to try your hardest not to let them wind you up, they might be annoying and not doing their job, if it was me - if I was their line manager I would address issues in private with them.
    If they are a member of the team I would be civil and polite and do my best to be pleasant, particularly if you think they have an agenda.I would do nothing at all that could be construed as bullying and this includes being rude, or abrupt.
    Please try not to let this person spoil school for you, by doing this and dwelling on it you are giving them power over you - we can't like everyone we work with, in fact you have been terribly lucky if you have until this point. If they are underperforming pass this on and allow the managers to deal with it. [​IMG]
     
  14. Gardening Leaves

    Gardening Leaves New commenter

    [​IMG]
     

  15. If you do this you will be shafted because you have no witnesses to refute the lies this person will make up.

    If he has a lawyer for a relative and has made multiple claims he will make one against you.

    Bargepole.
     

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