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A little advice needed

Discussion in 'Jobseekers' started by lemon_meringue_pie, Jun 20, 2012.

  1. Hello all!
    I need a little advice. I am currently in my second term on my NQT year at a school which is closing in 4 weeks and merging with another school in September. This school is completely new. As I was on a fixed-term contract I was not able to apply for a position in the first instance, but now that all the other teaching staff have been appointed/made redundant/found another employment, the new head has said that there is a position for me.
    My degree is in Key Stage 2/3 MFL. I currently teaching Key Stage 3 English and French. The new post in for a full time English teacher with the hope of becoming a Key Stage 2/3 teacher in September 2013.
    Also, I moved to the opposite side of the country and left my boyfriend of 5 years behind to live on my own and begin my career (he lives with parents).
    This is where my problem arises. I would like to take the job but it has been hard being away from family and friends. Most the time I find this harder than the actual job! I told my boyfriend about this new job offer. He knows I have not yet been able to find employment for September and that it is causing me sleepness nights. However, by the sounds of it he is unwilling to move himself. He wants to stay where he is, near his friends and family, near his job (he only works 3 days a week :S ).
    I feel that I have made lots of sacrifices and he is unwilling to take any. I have had to live on my own without anyone. I have had to struggle. I have had to pay rent instead of saving for a mortgage. Why would it be so difficult for him to do the same for 12 months?
    Can someone offer some advice please! Should I take the job and re-think our relationship? Or should I continue to find another job back home and hope to God I find one before September?
    Much appreciated,
    LMP :)
  2. LucSki

    LucSki New commenter

    Aww LMPI feel for you...
    See my thread (not sure how to link it?!) called .. never able to have your cake and eat it..
    I did a kind of similar thing but moved away from family/friends/job to be with boyfriend..
    Ultimatly in your heartof hearts you know what makes you happy. My job situation didnt work out when I moved away to be with him and I am now looking to potentially relocate back near friends and family.
    I guess its about priorities... I am not myself/not happy when unemployed. This affects the relationship and ultimately im here, unhappy but with the boy (who constantly works!).. but away from my support network and unemployed.
    Look at the likelihood of you being able to get a job back 'home'. How would you feel if you couldnt work at all? With the job situation you MUST have something in mind to go to I think (I didnt and it all went wrong!)
    I had a chat with the boy and if needed in future we will look at relocating again, perhaps together, perhaps one of us but for now.. all I want is a job!!!
    Anyway thats my 2 pence worth!
    Good luck and keep smiling! x
  3. scienceteacha

    scienceteacha New commenter

    Get a new boyfriend.
  4. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter

    LucSki has given some nice comments here. And here is her thread:
    Never able to have your cake and eat it...
    Myself, I am not too able to give general Life Decision advice, really only applications advice, so I'll limit myself to that: here is a link to give you some application tips:
    Teaching applications
    Best wishes.
    TheoGriff. Member of the TES Careers Advice Service.
    For the full TES Weekend Workshop programme please visit www.tes.co.uk/careerseminars or contact advice@tes.co.uk for one-to-one sessions.
  5. I think that you have had to compromise too much. Understandably your boyfriend doesn't want to move but is that saying your not worth moving? When I moved to study at university my boyfriend finished his college course for a year and came straight here no question. He left everything behind. I think you need to have a serious talk with him, if he isn't willing to move as far away as your are now could you find somewhere to work closer to home but not at home? Explore all possible avenues of places to work closer to home but I would seriously question why your boyfriend of five years would not move to be with you. His home town is his past, you should be his future.
  6. The job sounds better than the boyfriend! I think you know the answer! Good luck.
  7. jessbgirl

    jessbgirl New commenter

    I moved to England from France for love and have had to relocate to the NE of England after my PGCE to be with my boyfriend. Back then, I did not have a job but I never gave up and eventually got one. For me, there was no hesitation as I had had enough of being away from him for so long. There are always ways to get into teaching when you relocate, even if it means doing supply for a while. But then, the real question is, do you feel you would be happier leaving him for a job or leaving a job for him? This is only down to how you feel. Nobody can really advise you on such personal matters I don't think.. Good luck anyway and I hope that whatever decision you make, you will not regret it.
  8. Thank you all for your little pieces of advice.

    I am waiting to speak to him again tonight. I think my decision is already made, I think it may be his decision I am worried about!

    Thanks again,
    LMP :)

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