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A boy ejaculated in my class today!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Misscynic, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    I think the fact that he'd be arrested in other settings indicates that the HT shouldn't allow him to be in class at all. If I were a parent of another child and found out about this I'd be furious at the school failing in its duty of care to the other children.
  2. Webfoot, I don't think you need to apologise. I think all of us probably had a giggle initially - but recognise that there is a much more serious problem that the OP needs help to deal with.

    All the advice here is sound, but if you are the lone voice in the wilderness when everyone around you is ignoring/trivialising the problem and refusing to deal with it, then it is incredibly difficult to take action. Whilst misscynic is looking for another job, it may be a risk she is prepared to take to blow the whistle on this situation. But what would happen next? Will the HT and other staff close ranks? Make her out to be a liar? Deny that it is happening. I don't think it's such a cut and dried situation.
  3. I have been following this thread and I am shocked. I agree with harsh-but-fair: go to the police! This is a child protection issue. At the moment he is masturbating, what if it got worse and he raped one of the girls or staff? He does not seem to be in control of himself and he cannot stay in this school. Don't wait for the parents to accidently find out, you need to take serious action now before it is too late.
  4. I haven't read all of this thread, but I entirely agree with the posts of Baubs that I've read. At the moment you are being let down by the system and you need to kick up a stink and let other professionals know they need to act quickly.

    I would play this as a "he is an extremely vulnerable child" card. It would be far too easy for another pupil to accuse him of doing something inappropriate towards them, (which he actually is!) and he could get himself into an awful lot of trouble as an adult if this isn't "sorted out" now.

    I do have to say - Im curious as to why you need to keep reminding us he is 'large', and reading that comment makes me feel uncomfortable. It should not matter how mature/well endowed he is - what he is doing is inappropriate, end of story.
  5. scizzy_wizz

    scizzy_wizz New commenter

    have we all managed to forget that this young man has special needs - but despite all of this, he is a person first and his needs come second.

    i work in special needs too and yes, we have had similar situations - apart from anything else, i can't believe that you involved the police in a situation which is blatent behaviour management - i know behaviour is challenging and often violent, believe me, i have the scars to prove i work in SEN! but it's challenging behaviour - not assault!!

    can you offer this young man a quiet space in which he can successfully **********? (believe me, it's better that he can complete the task than not!) - it may be a cultural issue too - as you need to explain to him that it's ok but it has to be appropriate, however, his family may think differently and therefore, school is the only chance he gets to express his sexuality.
  6. Can you request a special Review meeting?

    The Statement itself needs to be re-visited, I would say?

    This needs professional medical input.

    Can the Boy be prescribed medication which suppresses his ability to do this?

    My advice. Call for a multi-agency review.

    What do your colleagus think about this?
  7. Do any of the other pupils ask you questions about the behaviour, or complain?

    Your school should have a Health and Safety committee.

    Raise the issue with that committee.

    Secondly there will be a heirarchy of H and S committees up to County level. Find some adviser in your LEA who can get urgent ACTION
  8. Live with it, most teachers have to; all our SMT are w*nkers.
  9. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    One of the language support picture sets i have has a picture for masturbating - you could use it to make a very specific sign, by putting a cross though it. You could incorporate into a social story, by showing him pictures of rooms where he can do it.

    This boy's rights are being violated by this happening, as are the other vulnerable children in his class.

    If he has an overwhelming need to do it, then he must understand that he needs to do it somewhere else.

    Couldn't he go to the toilet? Wouldn't that be better than doing it in class?


    A book like this may help.
  10. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    I'll email you some the picture cards if you wnat them;)
  11. Agree with doglover. I also feel that the SAME policy needs to be followed at home- I think it is essential his parents are bought in, and they should be as strict as the school in their dealings with masturbation.

    If his parents let him do it anywhere, he will find it hard to work out why he can't do it anywhere at school.

    Untill he stops ******* off in lessons, it is inappropriate to have him with vunerable memebers of the class.
  12. Are other members of the class offended by this behaviour?

    The LEA should be brought in on this.

    Ask the union to call in SEN adviser, or ed psyhc

    but bring in specialist help.

    It is inappropriate sexual behaviour, other children should not have to witness it.

    this is serious, and your HT is not dealing with it
  13. Had to deal with this (though minus "emmissions") as an NQT in mainstream with no help - not nice at all. Agree with Baubs, you are being let down on all levels.

    As for the "like it or lump it" camp, I'm staggered. Just because you work in SEN your rights to a safe working environment come below his right to an education? I don't think so. The Union needs to get a move on and I think you're well within your rights to refuse to work with this boy until the situation is PROPERLY and PERMANENTLY dealt with.
  14. What turns him on?

    forgive this question, but it may be relevant?
  15. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    It worries me. Quite apart from the rights of staff and pupils to a safe environment, what will happen to him as an adult if the urge overcomes him in public?
  16. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    perhaps when he is older he will be doing it over a dying woman

    no-one rung the police yet?
  17. to misscvnic,

    This needs urgent action.

    Whether it is a child protection issue, I am not quite sure?

    But if he is a potential danger to other children, or to staff.

    your LEA should have a Child protection lead officer, phone up education admin and ask to speak to him or her, and ask them to deal with it urgently.
  18. Gobsmacked by the lack of concern at the school about this behaviour. You can be sure that when (if) the other parents find out that this boy is still in class and exposing their children over and over again to masturbation on this scale that there will be absolute hell to pay. If this boy was in my sons class I am not sure I would be calm enough to sort it out rationally. Yeah the boy has problems, big problems, but just because he is in a special school does not mean he should be getting away with this, my son has SEN too and is no way less likely to be damaged emotionally by this just because his IQ isn't that high. I wouldn't let him watch it on tv why would I want him exposed in reality? And to behave this way on such a regular basis, why? What has happened to him in his past or present to encourage the continuance of it? Its not normal behaviour (on this scale) even in the learning disabled population.
  19. How about taking him to the head teacher or summoning the HT/ SMT Chair of Governors every time this happens. Ask the HT to sign the masturbation record! Surely S/he will have to take notice then.
    THIS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN IN A CLASSROOM. When it happened in mine I called the parents, said it was totally inappropriate behaviour and asked them to come and collect HER. Twice they took her home, it never happened after that. As Wolfpau said, you need to find out the arousal trigger.
  20. Wow! sooooo many suggestions and questions. I wish I could respond to all of them. However, I have only a few hours to complete application for another job and I have to email it this evening. Let me keep you up to date.
    yesterday - I gave a memo to HT asking for an immediate review of risk ass to be carried out and for the boy to be removed until it was in place.
    today - HT tells me that she phoned the mum yesterday and told him to keep the boy at home as he had just spat in the face of a support worker. (she can exclude for violence but not for w******) Mum really angry as she thinks we are making it up.
    He will be back next week (this is Scotland, holiday w/e, so everyone will get a break of a few days)
    she has also set up an emergency meeting for next week to look at situation. Police are to visit Mum asap as she thinks we are making it up.
    The feeling in the school today was so relaxed, the pupils and staff in the class had a lovely class outing, first one for ages.
    I thanked the HT (doesn't do any harm, even though it is her job) and told her that staff would appreciate that the situation is now being tackled. As for all your replies - thanks for suggestions. One post that stood out - why do you keep saying he is so 'big'? Well, I guess i was traumatised by seeing such a sight. I am married, not naive, not easily shocked but it freaked me and left me having flashbacks. The point I was trying to make was this- if this is what it did to me, what about the other kids? what about the 3 year old nursery child who witnessed him in the corridor the other day? what about the teenage work experience kids we have in school? If it makes you feel uncomfortable to read about it being 'big', how would you like to have to look at it a few times a day, in your classroom. Anyway, things are now being addressed, lets hope he and his mum get the help they need.


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