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A big thank you

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by becky70, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I now feel fairly certain that I'm never going to be pregnant - I turned 40 in Feb, shortly after finding out my most recent treatment had failed. I have actually decided to walk away from ttc - I can't face another treatment cycle with ever decreasing chance of success. We've given it a fair try - five and a half years of trying, five rounds of treatment.
    Strangely enough, I actually feel really happy now which was not what I expected. I did feel devastated for a few weeks but now I feel relieved that I can start living again (my life has been on hold for years). I no longer feel worthless about being unable to conceive - I just accept that it wasn't meant to be. I can still live a worthwhile life whether my OH and I become adoptive parents or we remain a childless couple and I help other people's children through my work.
    I can't really justify posting on here much now as I'm not ttc, pregnant or a new mum. May pop in to check how people are doing now and again.
    Just wanted to say thanks - can't rememeber everyone who's helped me in my journey so sorry if I missed out your name but thanks to clematis, woo, rharg, astralabe, sammii, Mrs. D, mariposa, pinkfairy, LMC, Emmsie, biodust, Mister Fibble, lilypot - I know there's lots more of you!
    To everyone on here, wherever you are in your journey - ttc, thinking about treatment, thinking about starting ttc, just staring at that BFP on your test stick, waddling around and counting down the days or up all night with your new baby - I wish you all the luck in the world.
    Becky xx
     
  2. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I now feel fairly certain that I'm never going to be pregnant - I turned 40 in Feb, shortly after finding out my most recent treatment had failed. I have actually decided to walk away from ttc - I can't face another treatment cycle with ever decreasing chance of success. We've given it a fair try - five and a half years of trying, five rounds of treatment.
    Strangely enough, I actually feel really happy now which was not what I expected. I did feel devastated for a few weeks but now I feel relieved that I can start living again (my life has been on hold for years). I no longer feel worthless about being unable to conceive - I just accept that it wasn't meant to be. I can still live a worthwhile life whether my OH and I become adoptive parents or we remain a childless couple and I help other people's children through my work.
    I can't really justify posting on here much now as I'm not ttc, pregnant or a new mum. May pop in to check how people are doing now and again.
    Just wanted to say thanks - can't rememeber everyone who's helped me in my journey so sorry if I missed out your name but thanks to clematis, woo, rharg, astralabe, sammii, Mrs. D, mariposa, pinkfairy, LMC, Emmsie, biodust, Mister Fibble, lilypot - I know there's lots more of you!
    To everyone on here, wherever you are in your journey - ttc, thinking about treatment, thinking about starting ttc, just staring at that BFP on your test stick, waddling around and counting down the days or up all night with your new baby - I wish you all the luck in the world.
    Becky xx
     
  3. I'm not sure what to say really - I'm really pleased for (?) - I'm sorry that things haven't worked out but it goes to show what an amazing person you really are - to be so positive. Not many could be like that.
    I hope that one day you do get to be a parent - adoptive or otherwise and I wish you all the very best in the future.
    xx
     
  4. toeinwater

    toeinwater New commenter

    I wish you lots of luck in wherever your life journey takes you next. You are an inspiration - to be so strong, when life has been so cruel - I'm not sure I could do it. Be happy! [​IMG]
     
  5. Becky your post has choked me up! You have always been and will continue to be the voice of reason and a true inspiration.....you've truly given me far more supprt/advice than I could ever have given you.
    I wish you and you husband all the very best for the future and hope that whatever adventure you find yourself on you feel happy and content.
    Much love xxx
     
  6. You don't need to justify posting here Becky, you have supported and been a friend to many and I for one would miss you if you went.
    If you do decide to go down the adoption road then I hope I will be able to offer some insight as to how the adoptee may be feeling/concerns they may have etc.
    Bio xxx
     
  7. What a brave post Becky. I want to thank you too for advice/help/inspiration. Don't be a stranger. I dunno what to say other than stay in touch, look after yourself and good luck for the future. Your post has bought a big lump to my throat.
     
  8. Oh becky. I don't know what to say. I am so sad that things have not turned out the way you wanted. As someone else has said, you are an inspiration. You were always there posting, even when things were tough for you. I feel honoured to have shared part of your journey with you and know that whatever you do, you will be amazing. Whether its adopting, or as you say through your work, you are passionate, kind and just down right lovely that the young people who encounter your care are lucky. I am sorry it has come to this for you, I truly am but glad you have made your peace with it, I'm really not sure I could. I think you are one amazing woman. life just is not fair. Lots of love you lovely lady, come back and let us know what you are up to from time to time. Xxx
     
  9. Becky, I wish you lots of luck, love and success in whatever you do in the future. I am sorry that this is a decison you have had to face at all, but like others have said, its one you have tackled bravely. Alongside that, you have always given such good advice to others. We will miss you.... Xxxx
     
  10. Becky, I'm really so sad that it's come to this for you, got very choked up when I read your post - it must have been the most difficult decision you've ever made. I believe that sometimes it takes more courage to walk away than it does to keep going because you're scared of what will happen if you stop trying. I hope you will find exciting and fulfilling things to fill the void that not having children will leave and find contentment and happiness in your life together.
    With love and all the very best for the future, Emmsie x
     
  11. Hey Becky - sending lots of love. Glad you feel better for making a decision and as you say being able to move on with new plans. Exciting, in many ways. I have had no response about a parenting forum yet but will keep you posted. Xxxx
     
  12. Lots of love and thoughts to you - and all the best in whichever path you take from here onwards.
    (sorry - I'm **** with the fluffy stuff! )
     
  13. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Becky you have always been there for me and so many others, you are such a lovely person. I think it is a brave decision to move on and I have so much respect for you as you are such a strong lady. When I had fertility issues I was weak and crumbled under the pressure but you were always so supportive and kind to everybody. Please stick around just to let us know what you're up to- we will always be glad to see such a friendly face :) xxxx
     
  14. Oh becky, I don't know what to say... I'm honoured to be named in your original post. I think you're a strong and wonderful person. Hope to maybe still "see" you around here as you'd be so welcome, and very much missed if not. I wish you all the very best for your future with your lovely husband. Feel a bit choked up myself! Loads of love xxx
     
  15. Best wishes to you. This is a message from weebecka - who loved talking to you but can?t
    post herself now.

    ?Dear Becky

    I remember you wrote many times about adoption, the challenges it
    brings and your worries about whether you had the ability to meet the
    need of an adoptive child.

    What you didn?t seem to see and was so obvious me and, I?m sure, to
    many others of us listening was that the insight and empathy you have
    demonstrated so often on this forum make you better equipped to be an
    adoptive parent than anyone I?ve ever known and that includes some
    happy and successful adoptive parents.

    I don?t know whether you will choose to adopt or not but if you choose
    not to please don?t let it be any fear of your capacity to love your
    adoptive children sufficiently (despite the challenges they bring)
    stop you. You have the ability and any child who was lucky enough to
    be yours would trigger off a fountain of love within you which would
    wash away your doubts.

    Thank you for being part of our amazing collective journey into life.
    I understand your sense of being ready to move on but you must never
    hesitate to return should you at any time in the future wish to.

    Lots of love,

    Rebecca"
     
  16. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Thank you, all of you, - didn't expect so many lovely messages! I'm sure I will post again but it's just that my life is taking a different direction now so less often.
    Will definitely take you up on your offer of help if we go down the adoption route, biodust - an adoptee's viewpoint will be so important.
    Can't believe I missed you out of my original list, Beachut!
    I know I'll be reading from time to time - I still want to know how you're all getting on.
    Thanks again x
     
  17. Oh becky70, what an amazingly strong person you are. I can completely understand what you have said about feeling better now the decision is made, we all need to enjoy life whilst we have it.
    As for posting in the pregnancy forum, ttc was a part of your life for a long time. If you want to share advice or respond to posts then you have just as much right as anyone.
    I wish you lots of luck in your journey from here and I do hope we hear lots from you.
    xxxx
     
  18. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Thanks, Mrs D, I won't be a complete stranger - just conscious that I won't be very pregnancy focused anymore!
    Hope all's good with you and LO
    Becky x
     

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