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6 Week Holidays

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by JCA_1989, Jul 19, 2015.

  1. JCA_1989

    JCA_1989 New commenter

    Well it's the start of the 6 week holidays, a time of relaxation and sun- well for most anyway. I always struggle with this time of year; I don't want to feel this way, I really don't but every year I find myself counting down the days until September, counting down the days until I am someone again.

    I have been at my school for 4 years now, and love my job, during term time I never regret giving up my weekends and evenings to plan lessons, arrange and attend sporting events- after all it's for the children! Yet come this time of year I begin to regret the late nights and endless hours spent at weekends. Friends have drifted away due to me not being able to give up enough time for them- I barely have many left now, they have moved on, life isn't passing them by. The children that I teach have become the only constants in my life, watching them leave on Friday (they were Year 6s) was one of the hardest things I have done (I have taught them for 2 of my 4 years) and I cannot help but feel upset.

    I have been here before and have taken medication in the past for mild depression; I do not want to go down that route again. I know I need to 'get a life'- I want one. I lose interest in relationships quickly, they lose interest as a result. When I think rationally I know I need to gain some outside interests and make time for me, for as we speak I have a 6 week holiday, with nothing planned, whilst all of my 'old' friends are off jet setting the world. I come across as confident, assertive and am well liked in school amongst staff- we do socialise outside of school as well, but that is me hiding behind my teaching persona, as the real 'me' is lonely, bored and not looking forward to this mass expanse of 'free time' in front of him.

    Any advice would be amazing.
  2. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I can relate to this to a certain extent, certainly the loneliness during the holidays. I moved to a new area when i started teaching and knew nobody. I had my OH but he wasn't a teacher and worked long hours.

    May be this holiday can be the one where you can sort out your school life and work out which jobs are not important and can release some time. Use your diary to block out a weekend once a month when you are free to socialise.

    As for this holiday, what about joining a sport or social club. Have a look at meetup an online directory for local groups. Also book yourself a holiday if you can afford it. My uncle is single and has always gone on tours/holidays and has met many friends through this. There are holidays that specialise in different ages and interests. If money is short, what about youth hostelling or a camping club. ukcampsites have many meetups.

    I am concerned you lose interest in relationships as this suggests you are still depressed. Why are you so reluctant to take meds again?
  3. JCA_1989

    JCA_1989 New commenter

    I just felt that it made me even more sluggish than I feel now, I gained a bit of weight and was well and truly dazed for a few weeks. Thanks for the advice!
  4. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    You could try a different AD, they are not all the same.
  5. sparklepig2002

    sparklepig2002 Star commenter

    As Mary says, there are different types of ADs. Just because one doesn't suit you doesn't mean others won't. Go back to your GP.

    One you start to feel more postitive you will feel more able to try and join a club, meet new people etc. Good luck.
  6. JCA - I am in the same position. School is all-consuming; I have given up out-of-school stuff as I am too exhausted to function in the evenings. The thoughts of all the new stuff coming up in terms of pupil tracking etc are daunting. I am on AD, the highest dose - it stops me getting ill, but obviously cannot 'cure' a poor work/life balance. I have no holiday planned (no money). I am going to spend 6 weeks deciding what I enjoy doing (and then start them up in September - many clubs/societies close down over the hols which makes our situation worse); a bit more exercise; try to make myself contact people. It is very hard, but give half as much devotion to improving your life each day as you do to the kids each day. Good luck.
  7. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I think this is quite common.

  8. naggin the nag

    naggin the nag New commenter

    I know this is a bit late in the day for the summer holidays but I feel the need to share. I took early retirement from teaching July 2014. I expected to leave on Friday and start my new business on the Monday. In fact I went into a malaise that I'm only just coming through.

    I had anxiety during the holidays, with full-blown panic attacks during the 6-weeks.

    I realise now that I was in effect 'using' work as a way of avoiding all the issues in my life - stuffing them down with food and 'too busy' to deal with them. Guess what! - They were all sitting there waiting for me when I had time to deal with them and I ended up with a diagnosis of PTSD. All my fantastic friends in teaching turned out to be fantastic colleagues. I had no life outside teaching. I completely bought into the teachers' 'lifestyle' - no life!

    PLease take the advice of others and work on your own life, get in touch with friends outside and inside teaching and develop those friendships. Fight for your free time and set tight boundaries around your work time so that is is contained and does not become all-consuming. Please don't wait for retirement!

    Sending you all big hugs and wishing you well for the coming year.
    ScotSEN likes this.

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