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2 babies under 2- how did you find it?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by sciencequeen00, Mar 29, 2016.

  1. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    As you can see from previous post I have another baby on the way so will be the lucky owner of 2 babies under 2,let me know if this also applies to you, would be great to hear how you found it, advice etc!

    Many peoples reactions has been" wow that's quick", " you dont hang about" etc but I feel very positive about how close my little ones will be in age!
     
  2. hdavis7612

    hdavis7612 New commenter

    This happened to me. I went back for two weeks in the July when my eldest was 7 months old. Then had six weeks summer holiday and returned in September about 5-6 weeks pregnant with number 2 (which wasn't the plan but hey these things happen) . Worked until Easter the next. Returned just before Easter the following year after full year off. Was fulltime for the summer term and tbh if it hadn't been for my mum coming to stay and help out I'm not sure I would have coped. I applied for part time and was a able to reduce my hours from the October half term. I'm now on a part time contract at a different school and even though my two are now 4 and nearly 3 it suits me and our family fine. It's easier now that they're old enough to play together but was a struggle at first. Hard going being sleep deprived with a newborn and having to look after a 16 month old who had just started walking. A sling helped immensely as did being more relaxed with number two's routine. If I wanted to take my eldest to a playgroup that's what we would do. Number two would feed and nap wherever. Thankfully my daughter was still napping in the afternoon so I would try and get my youngest to nap then as well. Workwise I do everything possible I can at school, prioritising with a to do list. I reuse resources and my nursery nurses help with whatever tasks they can. I do plan on my laptop at home once the kids are asleep and occasionally bring learning journals home with me to update if I've not got around to them at school. I generally have an hour before kids arrive at school and an hour after they leave. My classroom is isolated so I don't usually get disturbed and can get a fair bit done.
     
  3. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    Hi there thanks for replying,it sounds like you have everything well organised and under control! I will also go part time once I have 2, probably 3 days and my family will help with child care as well as nursery! My 2 main concerns are nursery costs for 2 plus people's reaction to the age gap being little over a year! I don't know why this bothers me, I've always wanted 2 children but we were also surprised his quickly I fell pregnant! Were you bothered by the age gap and or people's reaction?
     
  4. hdavis7612

    hdavis7612 New commenter

    Wasn't particularly fussed about people's reactions. It wasn't planned at all and when people did make remarks I simply explained it as such. In an ideal world I would have waited another year or two. Then again I'm nearly 40 do who knows if I would have fallen pregnant as easily if we had waited? I'm happy it happened the way it did though. I think they have a closeness I never had with my younger siblings due to a larger age gap.
     
    sciencequeen00 likes this.
  5. sciencequeen00

    sciencequeen00 New commenter

    I like your attitude, I to am getting closer to 40 so feel that this baby is a defiantly a gift. I am fit and active so feel like I am up for it. How did you find nursery costs with 2, it seem that going part time just pays for mainly nursery.....
     
  6. hdavis7612

    hdavis7612 New commenter

    I went part time over 5 mornings. I left at 730 due to commute and got home around 1230. My husband works from home so he would look after the kids from when I left until he took my eldest to preschool and my youngest to the child minder. I would then collect them on my way home. I purposely chose preschool and a child minder for the term time only contracts they offer. Also a lot cheaper than day nurseries near me. My eldest qualified for her 15 free hours a few months after I returned and once that happened I was only paying for my son which worked out to 3 hrs per day. I actually kept more pay for myself working part time than full-time but I suspect this was partly due to our circumstances.
     
  7. landaise

    landaise Occasional commenter

    There are 17 months to the day between my number 2 and 3 children. From a practical point of view you are lucky that your first will be walking by the time the second is born. But toddler in nappies plus newborn is a lot of changing, lifting and expense. We got funny looks with our trolley full of nappies every month. (This was 20 years ago, disposables, but I would still use them now, less work ) I never bothered about reactions, indeed when number 4 was born the eldest was not yet six, sounds very close but 17 months was the closest gap. Those two are now 21 and 20 and talking of flatsharing next year.
    It will be hard work and expensive but I'd much rather that than 10 years' gap in age
     
  8. pinkfrangipani

    pinkfrangipani New commenter

    My two have 18 months between them. The first two years after my second was born were a challenge. I didn't go back to work until my youngest was in full time nursery. I did my PGCE then and started my NQT year when he started school. Since he's been at school it's been absolute smooth sailing. We are lucky that my husband works at home but there was a point he was working full time and they were in after school club and we were still fine. I love that they are so close. The routine works well because they are both at the same developmental point now and we love it.
     
  9. spokeydokey

    spokeydokey New commenter

    Congratulations on your pregnancy @sciencequeen00 ! I have just less than 15 months between my two little boys (by a day). I was breastfeeding my first and didn't have periods and low and behold, accidentally fell pregnant with my second when he was about 6 months old. I did always want two and was glad at the time that I didn't have to go through the whole deciding when was the right time and trying to get pregnant but was very scared.

    I'm not going to lie, I have really struggled. My eldest didn't walk until 19 and a half months so I had a good few months of two non-walkers. My back still has problems now. Coupled with the fact my marriage ended (after 14 years together) when the children were 3 and 2, things were really tough. I found having two children so much harder than having one. Not double the work but like four times harder! Everyone is different though and some people breeze through it and don't look back. I think having PND didn't help either.

    Anyway, I found trying to get them to nap together a complete saviour. Instead of running around doing chores like I did with one, I lay on the sofa for an hour and built up the energy to carry on for the rest of the day. Taking help whenever it is offered too, even just someone bringing dinner round or doing some ironing. Had no pride at all at that point!

    My boys are now just turned 5 and almost 4. My youngest starts school in September and they only have 1 school year between them. It is much easier now and I'm starting to see more of the positives. They generally play nicely together, especially when we are out when they look out for each other. I can take them to places that they will both love and is age appropriate for them both without worrying one will get bored. And then there's the benefit of the hand-me-downs!

    I'm not sure I will have more children now due to circumstances and although it has been hard, I wouldn't change it at all. I love that people used to mistake them for twins all the time! I love that I over-hear them talking to each other and saying "I love you" to each other when they don't know I'm listening. (Yes they fight a lot and are enemies a lot of the time too but it gives me chance to help them with character building, right?!)

    Embrace it and know that you will soon have even more love in your life! xx
     

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