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17 year old living in a tent....

Discussion in 'Personal' started by silkywave, Oct 31, 2018.

  1. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

  2. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    17? Parents should be held financially responsible.
     
  3. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    Sounds like the teenager was/is out of control. How do parents take control?
     
  4. florian gassmann

    florian gassmann Star commenter

    Especially since the article reports that the boy was not allowed by the courts to live with his father following drug-dealing charges and the mother believes it would not be safe for her other foster children if the boy lived with her.
     
    sarahprice87 likes this.
  5. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Just from the article it sounds as if the Council did a lot to try and accommodate this boy but he would not comply with the conditions necessary for him to receive help. So eventually it all goes Pete Tong and it is the Council's fault?

    Perhaps this should be a case study used to show youngsters how the poor choices they may make can end up.
     
  6. Oscillatingass

    Oscillatingass Star commenter

    Not an easy question to answer, but if one brings a child into the world it doesn't seem right just to hand it over to the local authority when the going gets tough. It is always somebody else's fault isn't it?
     
    silkywave likes this.
  7. Oscillatingass

    Oscillatingass Star commenter

    Yeah, they end up with compensation money. I wonder how he will spend it?
     
  8. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Find a copy of Winston Smith's Generation F. Plenty of similar cases, every one the fault of someone else. 17 is old enough to consider the consequences of your actions and stop belly aching about what everyone else should have done.
     
    silkywave and Oscillatingass like this.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    OK.

    I host for Nightstop. This means I could get a call any time to ask if I will put up James/Jemima for the night. Or the weekend. Because J is homeless. J will be anything from 16 - 25. J turned up at the Nightstop office. They made a couple of calls and they think this young person is probably not an arsonist/axe-murderer. Probably.

    J turns up. Usually. I give them a meal. They may stay in or go out. I tell them when to be back and we hope it goes OK. They may come again the next night or they may end up staying for months. Our last girl stayed for three and a half months.

    I am expecting a new girl this very evening. She's 18. I get the impression her parents and grandparents have kicked her out for not following their rules. This has been going on for years. She has been sleeping in her car. Yes, she has a car. Yes, she's in a lot of debt.

    I know Nightstop wants me to "keep" her for an extended period. Will it turn out that she's a young lady who just doesn't want to fit in with the household or maybe it was her parents who were difficult? I don't yet know.

    Nightstop does get arsonists and kids with a drug habit etc etc. I know some of the lads we have had smoke weed (probably do more than that) but not actually in our house. And I don't have to host them, of course! And sometimes no places can be found for them. No other charity is willing or has room.

    The parents often are in new relationships and have younger kids and little room. It's extremely difficult.

    So a tent on a campsite (to me) doesn't sound too terrible.
     
    Jamvic, strawbs, chelsea2 and 8 others like this.
  10. Oscillatingass

    Oscillatingass Star commenter

    Can I just state that I admire you GDW. :) Not many could do what you do.
     
    Jamvic, bonxie, Kartoshka and 7 others like this.
  11. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    Seconded. I feel guilty about the number of empty rooms we have but I'd be plain old too scared to invite a stranger into them.
     
    Jamvic, emerald52 and yodaami2 like this.
  12. install

    install Star commenter

    Outrageous for the 17yr old not to be protected from 'sexual exploitation or ill health' as reported, and to end up 'sleeping rough' . Not good by any standards to have the 'long list of failures' too by the council, as reported :cool:
     
    JosieWhitehead likes this.
  13. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    So what do they do? Chain him to the radiator in a children's' home?
     
  14. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    They're not allowed to restrain them in any way.
     
    install likes this.
  15. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Precisely, so how can you protect someone who does not want your protection?
     
  16. install

    install Star commenter

    Clearly they made 'a long list of errors' (according to the report). The inference appears to be that they did not support or act suitably from early on. And when they did support it seems to have been too little too late - possibly endangering the 17yr old's safety and well being.
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
  17. silkywave

    silkywave Lead commenter

    I suppose when he’s eighteen he will have to fend for himself?
    I often wondered how some my students would survive when they left school. Drugs seem to be the only likelihood for some.
    @grumpydogwoman, good on you helping these kids, and they are only kids. I would be worried they would steal from me as this has been my experience.
     
  18. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    One lad did explain he'd only take stuff if he didn't know the person. So we were safe! Otherwise he could make money out of selling passports and so forth. And had done.

    We've never had a problem. Not saying it'll never happen. You don't invite problems by leaving temptation in their way. That's not fair to them.

    But I do know of some who present and the workers can't house them with hosts. They are sort-of vetted.

    Our last girl was lovely. She still comes round. Not her fault her mother chucked her out for being gay. But, as I say, some of them have a bit of history with drugs.

    But I know very well that some of them are a complete nightmare. It's very unusual for kids to end up with nowhere to go. There are some agencies out there and quite a lot of charities.

    Round here the "hard" cases end up at the YMCA but even the Y has standards and you can get kicked out.
     
  19. SparkMaths

    SparkMaths Occasional commenter

    This seems to happen often enough that I wonder why there isn't a government programme to identify these kids in school and take them out for specialist tuition which suits their personality/circumstances.

    I think that teachers have a pretty good idea about which kids are unteachable in a typical classroom environment but the blame seems to be put on us for not being good enough teachers. They are kept in classrooms they hate and disrupt their own learning, everyone else's learning and their teacher's career.

    I've seen multiple schools take children like this out of subjects they enjoy and have their maths lessons doubled to make the league tables look nicer. Some are going to need nurturing one to one tuition, some are going to need a drill sergeant yelling at them and running them around a field to tire them out, some are going to want to learn some practical skills. So it can't be one size fits all.

    Well actually I know why... short term political thinking. Money spent on a teenager to sort out their issues doesn't result in any savings for the next election, but it does have massive savings the election after when they are not soaking up money from benefits/police/prisons/NHS - which may benefit the opposition.
     
    InkyP likes this.
  20. JosieWhitehead

    JosieWhitehead Star commenter

    I believe that the boy was not breaking the law in leaving home aged 17 because they can do this aged 16. They can also leave school, get married, start a family and buy alcohol. https://fullfact.org/law/legal-age-limits/ My father was only just 18 when he not only left home but fought in the last Battle of the Somme in the First World War. This boy, however, seems to have problems and I would have thought he needs care and protection.
     

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