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£67.50 a week

Discussion in 'Personal' started by sparklyeyes, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    is what I have to live on a week till I get another job. Out of that I have to pay mortgage, water et al all without the help of my soon to be ex husband who is still living in the same house (he refuses to move out) and is not paying anything towards the running of said house and hasn't either since last October. The law says I can do nothing about this. I also have to buy food for me and my children, who to be fair, buy some of their own food out of their own limited money (neither are working - one is unable to find a job as yet and the other is at uni).

    No advice needed, just wanted to share and vent.
  2. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    What about housing benefit, or do you have over the limit of savings?
    Or could Teacher Support Line offer some help?
    I know you said you didn't need advice, but just wanted to be helpful x
  3. Simonmil

    Simonmil New commenter

    sounds like a douche.
    Stop direct debits for utilities. That'll make him think about contributing.

    (done that with an ex once, who was just as difficult. Once she realised that all I was going to pay was mortgage, council tax and house Ins, she smart moved out).
  4. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    no savings, and can't get housing benefit as I have a mortgage.
  5. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

    Don't they pay the mortgage interest any more? They used to.
  6. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    he won't care, he would see it as me not managing. you have to know him to understand. and all the bills are in my name anyway [​IMG]
  7. giraffe

    giraffe New commenter

  8. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    thanks, thought I could only get help with mortgage if I had been claiming income support for 26 weeks.
  9. aw27

    aw27 New commenter

    Can YOU move out? even just temporarily in with family or friends? - I'm just thinking when he's in a house with no gas, electricity etc because he's not paying it, he might think twice...!
    And if you stay you should get council tax as well as mortgage interest paid, its not much but it might help.
    Much sympathy [​IMG]
  10. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    Would love to move out but it wouldn't help. I'm biding my time - both kids are looking to move out and when they are gone, I'll make my next step. Not sure what it will be yet though [​IMG]
  11. chocolateworshipper

    chocolateworshipper Occasional commenter

    I am so sorry to hear about your awful situation. I wonder if it would be worth phoning your bank and explaining the situation - I know some banks will agree to a mortgage holiday. You could also try the Citizens Advice Bureau to see what advice they can give? Good luck to you xx
  12. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    You may not get housing benefit but there's working tax credit, single parents allowance,council tax reduction, free school meals. If it's there, get it. Then get onto the CSA for his contribution. I know several single parents whose exes don't contribute and I can't understand that.
    Mortgage - who is responsible? If you, get your name on the agreement. Get his off.

  13. Sorry to hear about your situation.
    How much is your house worth? More than the outstanding mortgage?
    If so, could you put it on the market and force your husband's hand? If it sells, you'd have whatever money's left over.
  14. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    my kids are both grown up so the benefits above won't apply. They aren't his kids (thank the lord).

    Mortgage and other bills - all in my name afraid as I never put his name on them when we married. I thought it would be forever - more fool me [​IMG]
  15. joli2

    joli2 New commenter

    Change the locks when he's out.

  16. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    house is on the market, legally, I'm not entitled to change the locks. however, the divorce can become final in 4 weeks, but even then, though I can change the locks then, as he has paid off a huge chunk of the mortgage he has a financial interest in the house, and under the family law act of 1996, he is still allowed to live in the house.

  17. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    Have a big hug,sparkleeyes.I know this situation has been ongoing for a while now. I know it is hard to hang on to the positives but at least you have the job seeker's allowance which is not reliant on your husband and even though the financial implications because your husband has invested in the morguage, it can be resolved. Try to hang in there. Try and do something to take your thoughts of the situation so it doesn't totally take you over.My own thing is listening to music, loud . The chances are things between you and your husband will get resolved in time one way or the other and as long as you wake up the next day, your health is ok and the health of your children is ok, then most practical things can be worked through. Whatever happens next, it is going to probably be better than your current situation. Best wishes.x
  18. Crowbob

    Crowbob Senior commenter

    Best wishes sparkle. I would cut his balls off whilst he slept. He doesn't sound very pleasant.
  19. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    I am a sweet-tempered, forgiving soul ....but I would be making his life very uncomfortable!
    I'd start with padlocks on the kitchen cupboards....if he isn't paying in, he doesn't get as much as a used teabag!....be fair give him a shelf/cupboard for his own food (and his own plate and mug et.c).....washing up liquid and washing powder et.c also get locked away.
    He isn't paying for electricity, so make sure the heating in his room is disabled....and remove the light bulb there too!
    Are you officially classed as two households for the purposes of benefits et.c? If so, check whether he needs his own TV licence. (And of course remove all TV aerials and phone points from his room)
    Stopping him using water for bathing and using the washing machine would be effective - but hard to stop him if he insists.
    Petty? Maybe, but he is asking for it!
    Go onto Moneysavingexpert...they will help with tips/strategies for making every penny of your budget go as far as possible...and post your story on their 'benefits' board..some members are DWP decision makers and they will be able to suggest any benefits you might be entitled to.
    Above all, stay strong. Things <u>will</u> get better.

  20. sparklyeyes

    sparklyeyes New commenter

    The getting my own back has already started - I remove the sky remote from the room so he can never use it - but the tv is one he brought with him so I am waiting for him to say he will take it away but I'm ready for that as my daughter has a flat screen tv she ain't using. I have hidden thge iron - it's mine from before we were married. The light bulb is a good idea........except no doubt he will go and buy a new one. I don;t know how I can stop him from using water, if I could I would.
    I do laugh though because he is in a tiny room and he keeps all his food and stuff up there, it really is cramped lol, and because I was in the sitting room last night, he stayed in his room from when he came in about 7 all night, ate his tea standing up in the kitchen, our lodger threw his washing out of the machine onto the floor because that's what he (the husband does) and it 'accidentally' got crumbs from the toaster on it......I also feel like putting locks on all the doors and providing the kids with keys so he can't use rooms like the bathroom.
    Petty I know, but I feel powerless to do anything else, but I also believe in karma......I would rather have my soul intact, knowing that what goes around comes around.
    Thanks to everyone for the support, I'm heartened.

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