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10 Things teachers thought they'd never say

Discussion in 'Personal' started by monicabilongame, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    1. “Please do not drink the watercolors.” – Jennifer
    2. “Your echolocation is not broken, you are not a bat you don’t have echolocation. Stop running into the wall and yelling ‘my echolocation is broken.’” – Danielle
    3. “No, I cannot marry you.” – Kay
    4. “Please take your head out from under my dress…” – Meghan
    5. “Stop licking the window.” – Jennifer
    6. “Do you need to go poop? You’re tooting a lot and it smells horrible…” – Shannon
    7. “Ew! Don’t lick the potty!” – Christina
    8. “We don’t pick our friends’ noses for them, even if they told you to do it!” – Tricia
    9. “No, I’m sorry you cannot be an octopus today.” – Chelsea
    10. “That is not Chapstick. That is our glue. Please stop putting it on your lips.” – Holli
    kibosh, InkyP, cissy3 and 1 other person like this.
  2. cissy3

    cissy3 Star commenter

    Reminds me of the late great Joyce Grenfell.


    Can I ask, though, @monicabilongame why you have continued this theme on separate threads?
  3. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Because when I tried to cut and paste the info it wouldn't continue with the numbering and ended up looking silly.... I guess it still looks silly :(
  4. cissy3

    cissy3 Star commenter

    Sorry Monica! I didn't want to offend you! Please don't be :(

    I feel as though I've been rude now!
  5. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    I can't come to the phone - I'm busy stapling an elephant to the piano.
    kibosh and monicabilongame like this.
  6. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I once told a Year 10 lad to 'Sit on that and swivel'.

    He'd been pestering me to let him sit on my vacant swivel chair while I was demonstrating something to the group, so the comment seemed wholly appropriate.
  7. monicabilongame

    monicabilongame Star commenter

    Np @cissy3 - not offended in the least.
    cissy3 likes this.
  8. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    "Stop fiddling and just get it out!" - I meant his jotter, obviously.

    "STOP! poking the socket with the scissors."
    cissy3, kibosh and Dragonlady30 like this.
  9. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    On the subject of chewing gum... bin held out...

    'Spit or swallow, you decide.' Class lost it.
  10. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Last year, I was practising a scene for our Easter play, where Jesus is stripped of his garments before crucifixion. The kids were doing a pretty lacklustre job and kept getting Jesus's head stuck in the armhole of the robe.
    My colleague got quite frustrated and shouted "Oh for goodness sake, when I rip someone's clothes off I put some effort into it!".
    cissy3, kibosh, Dragonlady30 and 2 others like this.
  11. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    I think I've done that too.
    lanokia likes this.
  12. RedQuilt

    RedQuilt Star commenter

    "The only way to improve your aural ability is to keep practicing".

    I uttered that sentence once, to a particularly filthy-minded A level group, but never made the mistake again.
    cissy3 likes this.
  13. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    When I was a supply teacher I would often get the obvious question "Is Miss away?", so I used to raise the pitch of my voice by a few octaves and squeek "No, I'm Miss, I've had an overnight sex change - do you like the beard?" That usually got their attention.
  14. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Never, ever, say "See you next Tuesday" to your Year 11 class.
    Flere-Imsaho likes this.
  15. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    sorry i don't get that one:(
  16. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    It kind of spells a very rude word.
  17. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    To the pure, all things are pure!!

    (I didn't get it either!!) :oops:
  18. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    Nor me.
  19. lapinrose

    lapinrose Star commenter

    Look at how abbreviations are used in text messaging, See you is CU!!
  20. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    I would never have worked that out but it's how my Reception children always spelled 'couldn't'.
    cissy3 and kibosh like this.

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