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1 year.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Orkrider2, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    To the day since my ex husband moved out. Doesn’t seem like that long ago, but at the same time living with him seems a distant memory now.
    Won’t lie and say it’s been easy, but it’s certainly been a happier and more emotionally calm year than the one preceding it. So that’s something.
    My kids have coped so well, and I’m so proud of them for being so resilient and understanding.
    And I have a date tonight with a very charming man who, on paper at least, seems lovely.

    Thank you to everyone who supported and advised me all that time ago when I was struggling with the decision. It was, and still is, very much appreciated.
  2. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    I’m glad you feel happier and in a better situation, Orkrider. By virtue of you saying ex-husband, I presume you have all the formalities sorted out by now.

    Good luck with the date.
  3. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    Not quite all sorted. Still arguing about money. But I’m in no rush and it’s another year before I can officially apply for a no fault divorce. He was eager to rush it and file on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, but when he saw solicitors fees he asked if I could file and he’d just agree with whatever grounds I stated. I said no, I’d rather wait and go a less expensive route so if he wants that he’ll have to file.
  4. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Well done for getting to a point where you feel good about things and are looking to the future. Totally agree about not spending the extra cash on quicker divorce, what’s the point? You could have a nice holiday with the kids instead. Your kids sound like they’ve been brilliant btw which is always the worry when a split happens, so that must be a relief for you. Fingers crossed for the date :).
  5. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    That sounds sensible. Do what is best for you and the children.
  6. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

    Goodness, a whole year! It barely feels like that this end. Time is an odd thing.
    Well, you have gone from strength to strength. Good for you.
    Hope the date is delightful...
    Orkrider2 and Jamvic like this.
  7. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    It really is isn’t it. Apparently how we perceive time passing changes as we age. Fascinating.
    Orkrider2 likes this.
  8. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    Happy anniversary. From what I remember (from your posts) you're well off out of it. x
  9. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Good luck with your date. I hope it works out well.
    Orkrider2, Jamvic and bonxie like this.
  10. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    My perception of time is gauged by how much my belly sags and how enlarged my haemorrhoids get.
    Orkrider2 likes this.
  11. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    We are all posting wishing @Orkrider2 well on this date and she won’t be reading this at all as she’s most probably out enjoying herself right now. :p
    Orkrider2 and primarycat like this.
  12. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    And I hope she let's us know how she got on! She can't leave us all dangling can she? (Oh yes she can)
    Orkrider2 and Jamvic like this.
  13. Orkrider2

    Orkrider2 Star commenter

    He was perfectly charming. We arranged to meet at 7 and then he text me to ask what time exactly my train was getting in because he wanted to make sure he was there first, which was sweet. And because it’s an internet date and I’m terrible with faces at the best of times, we’d joked about having a little sign like taxis do when picking up people at the airport - which he did, and that made me laugh. And he was intelligent, funny, generous, down to earth and clearly very family oriented, and the right balance between cheeky/flirty and respectful. Oh, and pretty cute (even though he has a beard, which isn’t really my thing). No obvious red flags so far!
    And he coped very well considering we walker into the bar he’d chosen and out of sheer coincidence, my sister and her husband were sitting there!

    As I left I said I’d had a great time, and that I’d like to see him again but I’d leave it to him to get in touch if that’s what he wanted too. I’d been in the taxi home for about 3 minutes when he called and said he’d like to see me again And we carried on speaking for the whole 30 minute journey home, so that’s a positive :D
    caress, lanokia, ROSIEGIRL and 14 others like this.
  14. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter



    4.30? My computer, which may be on Spanish time so one hour ahead, says you posted very early.

    Or very late, if you had only just got in after a successful first meeting!

    Go girl!

    Best wishes

  15. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    Great to hear that you're doing so well, @Orkrider2. The first year is the hardest … 30 years ago for me, a very distant memory now. One of the hardest but best decisions I ever made. But you sound strong and much happier, and your children too. Glad the date went well and very best wishes for the future x
    Orkrider2 likes this.
  16. Corvuscorax

    Corvuscorax Star commenter

    His own, presumably
  17. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    I’m so glad it went well, and you sound so much happier! Am genuinely so pleased you made the break and didn’t carry on in that miserable relationship. Well done you! X
    Sundaytrekker and Orkrider2 like this.
  18. friedgreentomatoes

    friedgreentomatoes Star commenter

    I'm glad you are happy and doing well. The date sounds very promising too!
    Orkrider2 likes this.
  19. mothorchid

    mothorchid Star commenter

  20. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Good to hear how well you're feeling and that life is moving on in a good way.
    Orkrider2 likes this.

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