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0% Confidence 100% Stress What has happened to the job I love?

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Hedda Gabler, Nov 7, 2009.

  1. I am sorry that i can't answer your question.
    Do you teach in Early Years? I remember your name from the EY forum. There has been such a change in the way EY works now that I am wondering if your HT really knows what she is looking for.
    I have taught in EY for many years and I must admit that what is seen as good practice now would have been deemed bad practice even five years ago.
    I am really struggling with it all and feel rather de skilled myself at times. Just wanted to say that as somebody who is walking the path along side you, I can empathise with you.
    Get in touch with your union- don't go via your school rep byt ring one of the local numbers.
    Give yourself time to reflect whilst you are off work.
  2. Hi, thanks for replying. I am the same person from EY board. But have only been teaching in Reception since September, and thought it was going quite well until 1st observation, and then 2nd one! I'm also a jobshare since returning from Mat Leave. I'll definitely be ringing the union on Monday. I'm not the only person in this position at school and feel like the boss & cronies are trying to weed us out.
  3. Hi sorry you feel so low, I've had unsatisfactory to outstanding lessons so I know how you are feeling. My last observation the HT said the children were too noisy moving from floor to chairs. Hellooo they are children not corpses! Take time off, let them see what they are missing,give yourself time to relax and then when you come back ask her to teach the lesson so that you can learn from her!! Always works cos they can't teach.Ha HA!
    henrypm0 likes this.
  4. Two practical suggestions: firstly get your doctor to sign you off, preferably for two weeks. If you are offered sleeping pills, use them, as your imminent priority should be your personal health and your family's happiness.
    Secondly involve your union as it sounds as if you are being treated unfairly. If your local rep is not getting a move on then ask for help from the regional office. Joint input is part of a the formal observation procedure and you should have been able to put on record a query about judging your teaching ability on the noise made by children moving.
    Your union will help you to identify your sick leave entitlement. I recommend you do nothing about resigning until your sick leave entitlement has expired. Normally you should be entitled to 6 months on full pay and 6 months on half pay, but I'm unsure how this is affected (if at all) by your maternity leave.
    If you conclude that it is better to leave, your union will be placed to get you a compromise agreement that gives you an agreed reference from which the employer may not deviate in writing or verbally, and a lump sum which normally equates six months net pay.
    Yes, you can and will teach in other schools. But not while you are wound up and not sleeping, so get yourself well and let your union take on this fight.

  5. Thank you for responses. Grey Wolf, that was just what I needed. I'll be ringing my union tomorrow. I am lucky to have a supportive husband who is with me all the way. I never, ever thought I'd be in this position. I'm really feeling awful for the other staff and my jobshare partner and feel I'm letting them down.
    I also have another issue... I've just looked at my 'particulars of employment' which was left in my pigeonhole. It states that I am on a temporary contract! This should not be the case! I was a permanent member of staff and should still be despite the fact I changed from full to part-time work, surely! I guess I'll be having a long chat with my union then.[​IMG]
  6. PLease read the OP here
    upon a time there was this brilliant teacher who seems to have lost the
    plot. - The rumours that he wasn't coping must be true.
    </h3>The bottom line here is that your HT will likely be deflecting blame for their shortcomings onto you. If you accept responsibility for their problems then they are home and dry.

    An important thing to understand is that when bullies operate the expect the likes of you to believe that they beleive what they are saying. The general rule should always be - DON'T -- at very least till you have considered what they have said and how they might gain if you fall for their ****.

    From your OP, it is clear that, certainly till recently, you were a good teacher. Start believing in yourself right now -- you are the best judge.

    THis bullying thing is a big problem in schools -- take some time to learn about it.
  7. I am in a similar position except that I am one of SLT and do not like what is happening in my school. I was SO happy with previous head and I work very hard and have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this school. The new head seems to be supportive of me but, little by little, I am being excluded from decisions and my ideas are being taken with no credit given to me. have cried buckets tonight. I would leave but I really can't afford to. Also don't want to let colleagues down.
    Really don't know what to do...
  8. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Get a sick note for stress. Look for another job. Life is too short for this! Been there, got the t-shirt, got another job - if it happens to me ever ever again, I will work in a supermarket rather than put up with the rubbish that goes around some schools.

    Wigwam early years person XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    many kisses from Nelly.

    henrypm0 likes this.
  9. Hi
    Thanks everyone for the replies. I am stunned by the amount of people in the same or similar situations. This should not be happening.
    At the moment I'm still off work, but feel incredibly worried and sick when I think about going back to work. I'm looking at other jobs, even considering different jobs like nannying or something. The problem is that we really need the money. [​IMG] At least while I'm off sick I can get a wage for a bit, but need to formulate a really great plan. There aren't any teaching jobs around here at the moment but am looking.
    My husband is very supportive but my Mum is of the opinion that I need to get back there, which is upsetting as I have tried so hard and she hasn't any idea what I'm going through at school.
    Any ideas for alternative careers that you can do with a teaching qualification???
  10. snowstorm

    snowstorm New commenter

    Have you registered for the 1-1 tuition programme? You can register on the TDA website; also approach schools directly; this is my current plan of action. The govt is investing alot of money in this.
    You are right when you say this shouldnt be happening;but unfortunately it is, and it's the good teachers who are being targeted. You need to look after yourself and your health.
  11. Thank you Snowstorm. I have had a look and registered. This sounds like a really good idea for pupils and teachers. So glad that you brought it to my attention. I looked online about this some time ago but couldn't find anything. But really pleased to have registered now.
  12. Hi Wigwam,
    I've been reading your thread and I too am experiencing very similar probs as you. I am finding it impossible and have only been doing it since Sept after many successful years in a different year group and school. It is making me ill. I've been off this week. How has your employer reacted to the fact that you are not in? I'm terrified and I don't know what to do. My partner is supportive but I can see that he is shouldering a lot of my anxst and I'm not sure how much of it he can take.
    What advice has your union given you about being off? Are you handing in notice early or will you be off indefinitely? I feel so guilty that i'm not in school with xmas production etc, but I know that I can't do it at the moment.
    I'm on the wellbeing thread.
  13. Hi,
    So sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing.
    When I rang my head the reaction was "Oh!?" - in a very surprised voice! And when I said the doctor called it 'work-related stress' he began to be nice, although I feel it was only because he was worried that if he wasn't nice it may impact on him!
    I know how you feel about the guilt. I feel terrible about not being in work. But am not missing it. When I left for maternity leave I missed the kids terribly, but now I just know I'm better off at home.
    My union guy rang this morning - he said to take at least until Christmas off! I was really surprised, but actually felt that if I do that then maybe I may be able to get myself together and go back after Christmas. But TBH I am very mixed up about it all. I don't really know what to do.
    So, at the moment am not handing in my notice. I just need to get myself together and decide what to do.
    My doctor is very supportive and understanding. I guess she sees a heck of a lot of teachers.
    I can't advise you but I can say this, It's better for you to be well and unstressed for you, your family, your health and your school. So do what you need to. [​IMG]
    Good luck
  14. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Remember, you have until 28th February now to resign for an Easter departure so lots of time to think! I found time off at home gave me time to reflect and make better decisions. Don't feel guilty about the school or the children - both are the HT's responsibility.

  15. Hi, me again. School denied changing my contract when union intervened. Secretary had no idea where the 'condititions of service' letter had appeared from! But nobody else had one put in their pidgeonhole!
    I'm still off work. Still stressed out and not knowing what to do and dreading going back in January. What I really want to do is resign in December but I just can't afford to and it would put extreme pressure on us as a family.
    So am looking for some sort of business I can run from home. Any ideas?
  16. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    wigwam - things will get better.
    You are a competent teacher with lots of skills and lots of talent. Your school has let you down and damaged you. In the end that will be their loss and someone else's gain.
    There will be other teaching jobs. There are schools where you will be loved and cherished.
    If the worst comes to it and you resign (note - due to difficulties in family circumstances - make a note of this in your CV - it's not a lie, it's difficult at home because you are stressed out) and end up resting from teaching from a while, then finances will be tight but that is true for many many people just now.
    But you should go back into school and *** the lot of them. Get paid and look for another post or whatever you want to do. I have seen quite a few dead weights riding along and getting away with doing very little - they never seem to get stressed like the teachers who genuinely care, teachers like you who work hard and try hard for the sake of the children. You don't have to let them push you before you are ready. But if you go back into school, just keep reminding yourself that it is only until you find a nice job. We can manage all sorts of bad things if we take it a day at a time. You can go back and bounce and be happy - sing in the toilets, smile and be jolly when you arrive in the morning, (this is called Fake it to Make it). But make sure you keep on looking for the exit door!
    it is the sensitivity to others that makes a good early years teacher - and that is our weakness because it can work against us too -we are just not thick skinned
    it's just a job and life is very short
    Lots of hugs[​IMG]

  17. Thanks so much for the great advice and comments guys. Would you believe my HT has resigned this week along with another MOS!!!!
    I'm going back in Jan to see how it goes, chin up, and looking for another job too. I wonder what the new HT will be like...?

    Thanks again everyone xxx
  18. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Things may change for the better big time now your HT has resigned. Good luck for the future!
  19. lesleymorrs

    lesleymorrs New commenter

    Ive been reading this thread and would love to know if you are back at work, how you are getting on with your new head and if work has improved Please Please update the discussion!!!
  20. I have been reading your thread with interest. How are things back at school? I hope you're getting on ok :)

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